The best part of the marriage vows

@zandi458 (28124)
Malaysia
October 4, 2010 3:14pm CST
Do you still hold on to this marriage vows which has a universal meaning to all married couples regardless of their religious beliefs. To love, to hold and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do us part.” . The importance of marriage vows have strong effects on the survival of any marriages and should be honored. But in today's style of hollywood marriages, do you think this vow is still applicable or has it become obsolete?
4 people like this
9 responses
@Dday50627 (359)
• United States
5 Oct 10
I have not been here in a long time but as usual, your question has inspired me to write. The very essence of marriage vows was to make a promise of faithfulness and caring from both partners for life. It was said before God and witnesses so that no one could dispute the promise. I look back on my own life and think about the "sacred" vows taken at the time of my marriage. You ask if they still apply today. I wonder. 32% of people together today are not "married." This means they live as a couple but never said the vows to one another. They love the same and fall under the same"rules" as one who actually spoke the vows. But, the question is, does the vow still apply to today? I think the vows that are promised to one another are still as "sacred" as they ever were. What the rest of the world is doing should not have an effect on the individual love or promise of two people. For a marriage to survive there must be the faithfulness and each honering and respecting one another. If not then isn't it really just a "one night stand" that continues day after day? Isn't the open door to "cheat" exactly that... an open door. I am not a prude nor am i guiltless in the unfaithful area. I did cheat and it did effect my marriage greatly. We remained together and continued to love one another VERY deeply. But the sacredness and "TRUST" of our marriage was ruined forever. She said never again would she fully trust me and when ever I had to go somewhere, her mind and heart would wonder who I was with. That was a trust i never was able to fully get back from her all the way to the time that she went to heaven. Sadly, now that she is in heaven, it can NEVER EVER be made right. For me, I never again gave myself to one person and will probably never give the promise of Forever to another. does it make a relationship I am in less than Love? I dont believe so but there IS a lack of total commitment because I refuse to take the vows. Why??? Simply because I can not promise with an honest heart that I will Not do the same thing again. And i dont want that feeling ever again. In answer to your question, sweet lady... Yes, they should always be honored but Life doesn't always fall undr the phrase A simple life." Hugs for you my dear sweet lady... I hope we can sitnd talk awhile soon. Thank you for the stimulating question. As always, Darrel XX
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 10
I see that you have been hibernating for so long. I wonder whether you could even remember my name now. I am glad to see you here sharing your experiences and remorsefulness of two timing your wife who has now gone to her rest. Cheating is the deadliest acts that can paralyse an otherwise happy marriage. But we are no saints and temptations are hard to resist. Don't blame the sin but blame the sinner for distorting the vows. Marriage is a blessing but many people turn their married lives into a curse. I can well understand why you refuse to commit anymore than you can. Once bitten is enough to haunt you for the rest of your life. No one can answer to your own happiness but yourself.
@savypat (20244)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Yes my vows are very important to me. I can't control how Hubby feels about them so I don't even try.
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 10
His very presence in your life is self explanatory and you need no doubts about his feelings.
@sender621 (14932)
• United States
5 Oct 10
The best part of marriage vows in not necessarily the words spoken. it is not the emotional state we are in. it is the bond and union of two people who now face a future together. The promise of that future is the best part.
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
6 Oct 10
I agree with you. The strength of love that binds two people together is more important than the vows. The vows can only be useful if two remain true till the end.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
5 Oct 10
The lord decides, past and present and our future.Whatever happens is definitely according to His super plan,,we all go wrong,, it's a material world.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
We cannot reshape the past nor can we anticipate everything in the future. There is but one moment of time over which we have some conscious control and that is the present.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Good morning, I tried to hold on to mine but my ex didn't coperate, lol. I think it is pretty much become obselete & that's a shame. I love to see people that have a good marriage. I wish i had, had one but i didn't.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
Not all marriages are made in heaven, yours unfortunately didn't last to the end. But it is not us to decide on the fate of our marriages. Some marriages dissolved before its expiry date. So the vows you took more or less become obsolete to you now.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
5 Oct 10
We don't have such vows here in marriage, but we do follow some other format of vows like promising in front of the fire, the whole marriage thing is entirely different which takes place in front of a little Fire.. Both the Bride and her Groom Promise and the husband ties three knots to his wife stating that he will take care of his wife at all circumstances and the wife letting her head down telling that she belives her husband in all manners a nd help him in all ways to succeed in Life..
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
Every culture and religious beliefs have their own specific marriage vows which every new couples should adhere to in their marriage life.
@GardenGerty (130403)
• United States
5 Oct 10
It would never be obsolete for me, and I do not think it would be for many of my friends. Yet, when I stayed through my first husband's illness, I was told that many people would not have done the same thing. I cannot imagine not. Just as I cannot imagine not staying through a financial crisis.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
What ever obstacles we have in our marriage, the sacred of our marriage vows is what makes the marriage foundation unshakable.
@angelic123 (1110)
• United States
4 Oct 10
Most Hollywood marriages ended up in court... divorce! I think it is because they do not fully understand the real meaning of marriage. Which is to commit yourselves forever. I am not judging those people but for me. I want my marriage to be forever.
• United States
4 Oct 10
I am happy that you believed on that too. It is sad when most of the people think marriage only as a binding contract... a paper that can easily be thrown away after so many years.
@zandi458 (28124)
• Malaysia
5 Oct 10
Well, we pass through life but once and that should also apply to marriage.
• India
5 Oct 10
Good. Marriage is for lifetime. Are you people saying that even if husband/wife is getting harassed by the other, do we need to continue the relation. Any relationship is purely based on trust, love and care and u will be expecting the same from them as well. Relationship is like a two way traffic. If something goes wrong, we should be in a position to sort out things. If nothing works out, there is no point in remaining intact. parting ways is the best thing. Before getting into any sort of relationship, get to know about each other well. If you are satisfied, then start the relationship and make sure that it lasts for ever.
@MsTickle (25151)
• Australia
12 Oct 10
Hi Zandi...it's not a question of obsolete or applicable. A vow is a vow. It's a sacred promise made by one person to another, in the case of marriage by two people to each other. Vows are broken. People lie and cheat and disrespect each other, themselves and their vows.