How do you
By Chysom Scott
@CJscott (4187)
Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
October 6, 2010 3:17am CST
Build know like and trust with people you have just met? What do you do to help build the initial relationship, with a cute boy/girl, an interesting person you met on the subway, a new work colleague, or a new prospective business partner, and for that matter, a brand new MyLotter?
I know there are lots of different ways, but I was curious how YOU do it.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
3 people like this
11 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Oct 10
With me, usually the initial conversation is the beginning and the end. I never reach out and find ways to stay in contact. I feel like if they are meant to be in my life, I'll run into them again.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Oct 10
Great, and when you run into them again, how do you decide that they are meant to be in your life?
...on the flip side...What has the grocery store you use done to build and maintain your trust?
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Oct 10
For me it actually takes many many meetings before anything is initiated, unless they are the type of person to reach out to people.. which doesn't usually happen for me. I'll never be the first to ask for someone's e-mail or phone #. Not because I have a lack of trust... more or less because I'm insecure and don't want the other person to laugh at me for assuming they'll be my friend. Even if I got their # or e-mail.. I would most likely not be the first to make a phone call or send a message. I almost always wait for them to make the first move.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
7 Oct 10
Oh, wow. What about the grocery store though dear?
That is intense Kats, intense. No one would ever laugh at you for wanting to be their friend.
This kind of reminds me of a training I once listened to, in my head it seems rude to ask, but it is not meant to be. Tact has never been my strong suit, and curiosity drives me...After you have established you are friends, do you ever consider sending them a thank you card for deciding to be your friend?
I do for some people, or at least show great appreciation for them, I made one girl a t-shirt once. It was neat.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
The "getting to know you" stage is the most exciting part of a relationship be it just for friendship, business purpose or whatever purpose you might have. I keep an open mind, am ready to listen to what the other person is saying about herself/himself. Sometimes some relationship just stay at the acquiantance level. Some on the other hand advance more into a deeper level. The key is to know the person in a more intimate manner. In this level, secrets are shared. It takes a lifetime to really know another person. We evolve and change for the better and sadly some for worse.
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@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
7 Oct 10
True that friend, true that. The constant change and growth makes it more and more difficult, but if you keep at it, and keep in contact and have fun, and listen and pay attention, then the trust just seems to grow between you and them.
I appreciate you.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157665)
• United States
6 Oct 10
Listening is the key to building any kind of relationship, whether it is friendship, or business, or family. Reflective listening is even better, where you acknowledge the person you are relating to by repeating their points back to them in a conversation.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Oct 10
That is how you do it dear? Reflective "Active" listening.
I like repeating their points back to them, 2, 3, 8 months down the road, but then they call me creeper for some reason.
I think, when you are speaking to me, that you should have my complete and undivided attention. Then when I listen, with an intent to know you better, I retain that which I have heard from you, and can use that to better our relationship in some way.
Is there anything else you do to develop trust in your relationships?
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
7 Oct 10
Rome was not built in a day! Time will Tell! Take it easy, relax and see what happens!
I like to lay back, take my time and see how the new guy performs. Its very difficult to "live a lie," for any length of time. Usually a few days will tell the tale. Be like the turtle- retreat into your shell (but keep your eyes open) when the truth becomes obvious, and the person is, who he claims to be, come out of your shell, and be friendly!
2 people like this
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
6 Oct 10
When I first met someone there has to be an initial attraction to some degree. I am not talking about physical attraction, and I am talking just about meeting a new friend for example. I have to find the person funny, or smart, or something that I think if a good trait in that person that we would have in common. For me it takes a lot to develop trust so I wouldn't really consider the person a friend quite so quickly. People you work with or friends you meet are usually acquitances first (at least for me) before I really consider them a friend. I look for someone that I can share things with and the listen to me and vis versa. I look for someone with great communication skills and someone that doesn't gossip and someone that can be themselves and not be superfical. Someone that helps me out with say a problem and that I can do the same. At the end of the day, I want my friends to be able to round me out as a person...as I hope I do the same for them.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
7 Oct 10
Know, I just met you...Like, you are my friend...Trust is a whole other ball game. Thank you so much for sharing, I like nice in-depth responses that clearly address the question at hand...especially when they are so congruent with my own believes...don't mind the ones that aren't, especially if they are in detail. The ones that are just make my day though.
I appreciate you.
1 person likes this
@bheadhette (3)
•
6 Oct 10
you just build a trust with the people you have just met by communicating with them. like the nurse patient relationship you need good rapport to develop a trust with you for the patient..
2 people like this
. At the same time, I realize you have to be careful because there's so much meanness going on these days. I think it takes time to get to know a person before you can trust them.@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
8 Oct 10
Awesome, thank you so much Cyrus, for stopping by again to help me gain further insight, I love understanding people better.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Oct 10
I think that the only way to build trust with a person is also the first thing that you've got to do in order to build a relationship with a person. You have to take the time to talk to a person that you've just met. That said, I think that there are also times when the start of a relationship with a person that you've just met will be all the further that the relationship will be able to go because there are some people with whom you will just not have a good feeling about.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
8 Oct 10
Trusting your gut and taking the time.
This morning, I was practicing my bizop presentation with a friend, in Tim Hortons(nationwide coffee shop). And some dude from three tables over, started asking me random questions about it. It is amazing what you can learn and do, when you listen more then you talk.
Just wanted to share that lol.
What do you do, when you want someone to trust you more?
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@RONDOLAWE (774)
• Indonesia
6 Oct 10
knowing some a new gilr or man is not that simple coz is more time for it , after all i knew he or she in the subway , yes we need some body else but that fast to build relation i must know alot more then that even she or he make me laugh .
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Oct 10
How does it take time, I see you, I walk over I say "Hi, I am Chysom, what was the best thing that happened to you today?" and then I know them.
They think I am crazy, but in a good way, we talk, then they like me, and then slowly over time I build trust, by being there for them, and remembering what they tell me, and helping them with things, and showing that I appreciate them.
It does take time to build trust, what do you do with/for the person, while the time is passing to build the trust and get to know them better?
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@jypsyjulia (912)
• United States
6 Oct 10
I think the only way to build trust is to jump out on a limb. It's kind of like an adventure, because it's such a risk. A lot of times people can end up hurt because people betray them, but at the same time, if you never make the leap, you might never have awesome friends. So, I really think that's the only way to build trust. You can have a friendship for YEARS and never trust the person, it can be done! But it won't mean anything until the trust is there.
2 people like this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Oct 10
What kind of a limb? Like spot a long lost friend 200 bucks out of the blue, and then later realize it because they refuse to take a job, that they feel is beneath them?
What kind of limbs have you jumped out on, and they stood strong through the ordeal?
And which have broken from the strain?
Trust, is a very important thing in every relationship, and I want to learn how to build it with people, consistently, quickly isn't overly important, but consistency is. I know someone would have to know me, then like me, then comes trust. And if you know me, you like me. So I am working on trust, care to share some more stuff in deeper detail?
The choice is yours.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
6 Oct 10
What am I listening for? What questions to I ask, to encourage them to talk about trusting me more? What do YOU listen for, how else do YOU build trust in your relationships?
I know the trust is the most important thing in any relationship.
Sincerely and With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
