I guess it's meant to be...
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
October 12, 2010 6:26pm CST
How odd that just the other day I was thinking, and even started a discussion, about the universe "talking" to us and giving us signs.
Well I think it's going it again.
As I've previously mentioned, we're moving in with my FIL. It's a decision we've gone back and forth on for months, but finally decided to go for it when things here at our home started getting too ridiculous to put up with.
Now I still have a lot of hang ups and reservations and anxieties about this move.. which I guess are natural with any big changes in life.
One of the biggest issues was the cleaning and fixing of the place.. another issue is FIL's unwillingness to part with some of his stuff. There are other things too...
However these problems keep getting solved for us. As I mentioned in a previous discussion.. my husband's aunt has offered to pay for most of the things we need to fix at FIL's house.. like a brand new water heater, septic tank, getting an electrician in there, renting a dumpster.. etc etc.
Later today I find out FIL wants to get rid of all the furniture in the dining room because he discovered it's rotted! This was a big issue for us, as we wanted to turn the dining room into a living room for the children... but he didn't want to get rid of the hutch, buffet, MIL's desk.. and with all that junk in there we would not have been able to fit our furniture for the living room. But now.. problem solved!
Another thing I learned today... My oldest has been going over there as often as possible to help get the place ready for us, but we've been finding out that he's spending more time playing than helping. FIL gives him minor chores to do.. but he hasn't been doing them. Hubby gave my son a list on Monday with clear instructions that he could play for 1 hour after lunch, but he must do the list of chores the rest of the time. We find out today he did none of the chores (and my son made a stupid excuse which was a lie) and FIL had also given him an extra couple of chores which my son also didn't do. FIL told hubby about this.. and also said to him that he doesn't want to repremand my son because he doesn't feel it is his place. The question of whether or not he'd yell at or try to control my kids hadn't even really entered my mind.. but now it's not something I'll need to worry about.. he knows it's our place to repremand our children and if he has a problem he'll tell us.
Everything is falling into place so nicely that it almost seems like it was meant to be. Is the universe once again trying to tell me something?
Have you ever had hang ups or reservations about a decision, and then have the problems solved all on their own?
2 people like this
11 responses
@thedailyclick (3017)
•
13 Oct 10
After years for want of a better word plain cr@p I've sort of come to a similar way of thinking. About a year ago things started to go my way, not all the time, little things which in the past would have not been how I liked and it was encouraging to see things changing. That's when I decided that for the first 35 odd years of my life the universe was testing and teaching me until it decided I was ready and started allowing things to happen the way I like because I would then appreciate them and not take things for granted which most certainly would be the case in the past. It's probably just hokum on my part but it's the only way I can explain why for 35 odd years nothing would really go my way and then all of a sudden things are and oh how I appreciate it. Now if only the universe could sort out a nice lottery win I would be a very happy bunny. 
Good luck with the move.
Good luck with the move.@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Oct 10
LOL... oh we could all use a nice lottery win.
You know it's true though... how many of us sit here and ask "Why me? Why can nothing ever go right for me?" and I'd bet you anyone else looking at your life could point out plenty of blessings that you're missing on a daily basis. Then we do start slowly changing our point of view, start seeing the blessings more and rolling with the hardships instead of fighting them, or whining about them, or getting down on ourselves. So perhaps it's not that we're getting more blessings.. but just seeing them more? Or perhaps the blessings are more of a reward for the change of attitude.
I've always had a similar theory.. that everything happens for a reason. I've believed it with all my heart since I was about 20ish. Everything in my life had sucked until that point. My childhood sucked, I lived with my blind mother at the time and that sucked because I was basically her slave, I'd had a boyfriend for a year and half that cheated on me and mentally and emotionally abused me, that sucked. I'd had a baby at 17 a blessing that sucked! So here I was wondering why all these bad things had happened to me and why I couldn't just have a happy life. Then I slowly started realizing all these bad things were meant to teach me something. Each thing made me a stronger person, a more cautious person, a more knowledgable person. As soon as I embraced that all these things happened for a reason.. my entire life changed. I started dating my husband, moved in with him... the rest is history.
@GardenGerty (169568)
• United States
13 Oct 10
It is great for you that things are falling into place. It will really cut your stress about the move. Some of our elders as they begin to see their mortality. start getting rid of things, and loosen up on their stubbornness.I have seen it happen in my own family. Yes, these can be indications that you have made a really positive decision.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Oct 10
LOL.. you have no idea how stubborn this man can be.. he's definitley loosened up.. but he can still be pretty darn stubborn. It's yet to be seen how easily he'll allow us to get rid of stuff.. most of this is just in theory.. the dumpster arrives this weekend.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
18 Oct 10
That is good that he won't reprimand your kids, but sometimes it happens especially when you will be moving in and he feels more comfortable around you all maybe. It is best if someone has a problem with a child that it is taken up with the parents only because that can cause alot of stress when it isn't. I really hope that you guys can get it cleaned and moved in with not so much more hassle..moving is stressful enough without adding all that other stuff to it. Goodluck.
@AmbiePam (121075)
• United States
13 Oct 10
That is so incredibly awesome. Seriously, when one really takes the time to think of all the issues you'll have living with your father-in-law, so many of them like you said, have solved themselves. And it's great that you are finding all of this out beforehand. You won't have these kind of things weighing on your mind after the initial move.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Oct 10
No matter what though I'm still feeling nervous about it. I do believe that all in all in will be a good thing, and hubby keeps mentioning little things FIL is saying that shows he's making real progress towards being able to live with us.. like he's saying he'll have to adjust to things, and he'll have to watch his temper and such. I guess it will all work out well. I'm just worried about all the awkwardness and uncomfortablity there will be for me.. it's going to be an adjustment.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Oct 10
The universe takes care of its own. So says a friend of mine. Now, if it would only come over here and do this paperwork for me. 
@cynthiann (18612)
• Jamaica
13 Oct 10
There is a saying out here tha you have to take the side of ife that is turned to you. Sometimes the side is bad or it can be good but the world turns and things do not remain the same. Change is constant and now the good side of life is facing you. Give thsnks and pray that it lasts for a long time. It is all falling into place and you are entering a new stage of life' I am also happy that he is not disciplining the children. His attitude is great. Isn;t it wonderful? There may be glitches in the future but asw long as your FIL remains reasonabe then it should work out well. Blessings to you all
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
13 Oct 10
We don't really have much of a choice but to take the side of life that is turned to us.. do we? LOL Yeah, I know things change and get bad then get good again... it's the question of how bad can it get while living with him.. what type of bad will it be? That's the scary part.
@4mymak (1793)
• Malaysia
14 Oct 10
hi kats,
i am really glad that you've decided to move-in with your FIL.. so far, it seems like it really 'was meant to be'... and it's really great that your husband's aunt is so generous to help.. i guess she's relieved that you FIL will have some company, and people to 'look out for him' after this... ALL THE BEST !!!
.. as for your son.. boys will be boys, huh...
@jillhill (37353)
• United States
13 Oct 10
Yes..just recently. Won't go into the details but it all worked out and my worry was for nothing! Glad things are working themselves out...I would find it very hard to have someone else trying to repremend my kids too....glad he stepped back and did the right thing!
@reckon21 (3477)
• Philippines
13 Oct 10
Sometimes we worry too much of what will happen in the future. We worry about a lot of things that beyond our grasp to only discovered that it will solved itself when the right time comes. And I am a believer of this that is why I don't worry myself with so many problems.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Oct 10
For me it always feels like I have a lot of hang-ups and reservations about major decisions that I have to make in my life. And, in most cases it almost seems like the decision gets made for me in some way or another. One of the biggest ones that I can think of is when I was working at the hospital. I had been unhappy with my job for quite some time, but I was hesitant to leave because we really needed the money. Well, I hurt myself at work and was on light duty and during that time I got a call from a previous employer that wanted me to come back to work for them again. So the decision was made.
@sweetloveforeve (13116)
• Portugal
13 Oct 10
im happy that your problems are all getting solved^^ i see that your hubby aunt will help you pay things^^ and fil sorry i couldnt understand exactly who is he in your life. anyway im happy that he helps you also^^ for what i see you and your hubby will move in with him right?^^ i wish that all gets fine and all happy^^ about your son maybe you should tell him that he can play his games but also shouldnt lie about not doing the chores you tell him to do. if you say that you take away the game if he doesnt do maybe he starts to be more responsible^^ if you tell him to do those chores and take away the game and just when he finishes you give him maybe he will obey you more^^ talk sweet with him and calmly^^ im happy that all is being ok with you^^ good luck in new house^^
