Feeling a bit bad telling friends no,sorry can not see you
By jugsjugs
@jugsjugs (12967)
October 24, 2010 7:48am CST
I have got soo many appointments every week now,what with drs,hospitals,schools,ot,blood tests,that when ever people ask me if they can pop round i am having to say sorry no as i have got to go out.I feel soo bad as one of my friends is going through a really bad time at the moment and the only time i can get to see her is of an evening and what with my son and his adhd,it is really hard to talk to anyone at the moment day or night,so she found out the other night.
6 people like this
36 responses
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
24 Oct 10
Hi there Jugs jugs!
I'm sorry to hear that but that's one thing that we cannot promise our friends especially when time comes that we have our own family. Of course, our family will be on the top of our list of priorities, especially, with your son's condition. I believe that your friend will understand and why not invite her over for a sleepover so that when your son is asleep, you two can talk?
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 Oct 10
Sounds great,the only problem there is that she also has the same problem as me she has a family also problems with one of her children.I think what i will have todo is allocate a whole week with no appointments,that way we can get to see each other,without any problems if they keep my son in school,as they have been sending him home as the adhd is showing its nasty face big time,role on when they get his meds sorted out again.
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
Thank you very much for choosing my post as the best response. I do hope that your plans work out well.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 Oct 10
It would just be nice if the school were to keep him in the school,so that i do not have to get a friend to look after him,so that i can do my appointments and instead a friend was able to have a chat with me with no appointments and me saying can not see you today as i am out at an appointment when they ring or text.
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
26 Oct 10
Well, no choice for u and for friends around u. Before we make time for them, we have to make sure we have time for ourselves, finishing up all the necessary things before we can devote to them. hehe ^_^ IF not, it's gonna be distracting when we have to leave midway through a conversation, making us feel more guilty instead.. haha 
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
24 Oct 10
Hi Jugs,
I realize that you are a good friend and a good person at heart who wants friends to be happy too.
I too am unable to meet most of my friends as you are aware that I restricted at home due to my ill health. So I call them up once a while and that keeps me and them connected. But yes, I miss meeting them physically.
I also realize that many of my friends have got their own families to look after and they are all working. So finding some time out to meet is not that easy to find. However, I must say that we can try meeting during Lunch or over dinner on some weekends.
Some times I do that and my friends do visit me.
Hope that helps,
Regards,
theSids.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 Oct 10
Thankfully i do have a few friends that have seen what my son is like aswell as all the things that he do,however that still do not help them being able to try to talk to me or me talk to them.I have a really good friend that also knows what he is like,who also takes him and brings him back from school,also knows that he can hurt her and has done in the past.
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I am sorry to hear that you are having so many problems but it is important to keep our friends near us. Try to make an appointment with your friend to spend a few minutes with her. I believe that our friendships help us to be stronger people.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
24 Oct 10
Could you ask her to go with you to some of your appointments? I know you have to wait for some of them and you two might get a chat in at that time. Just an idea..
@savypat (20216)
• United States
24 Oct 10
Help that comes to you from others can only be returned by passing it on to someone else. Right now is a very difficult time for you so just be thankful and accept what is given. Remember how much reward you get when you help others so now is your turn to give that gift to those that help you. Wish I was close enough to physically help you.
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
24 Oct 10
A friend of mine had to baby sit my son as he was sent home from school due to the adhd showing its face big time again,while another friend of mine drove me to the appointment as i am unable to drive now.I was at the hospital for over 2 and a half hours and when i came home i could not speak to anyone as my son was kicking off big time.Of an evening it is hard to chat to who ever comes here aswell as my son is still going forit so to speak.A few of my friends know what my son is like aswell as that i have regular appointments for lots of things,so they do understand,however inside it hurts to think that when they need me or just need a chat i can not return any of what they have done for me.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
27 Oct 10
Is there any way you can have your son baby sat while you take a well-earned break and go out for a coffee with your friend; it would do both of you a lot of good. Can your husband take care of your son for you? You do deserve time out especially if you have a particularly demanding child. Good luck to you...
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I am so bad at saying no too but I think it is best to support friends when we are at our best. Sometimes we have to take care of our own problems and by taking care of those first we can give our all to our friends after and that is more worth it then giving them 'just something'. You seem like you have a lot going on that you may need a hand as well. I hope your friends understand that too.
@cbjones (1147)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I'm sure she knows that you would be there for her more if you didn't already have a lot going on right now. We all have rough patches in life. There just aren't enough hours in the day to deal with that, and be there for everyone else as well.
Do what you can to get your situation in check. It'll subside with time.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I really can see why you feel badly that you aren't able to spend time with your friends. However, I'm also sure that as your friends they are able to understand that you have to be able to take care of yourself before you are able to take care of your friends. If you weren't able to take care of yourself, then you wouldn't be able to be there at all for them as a friend and it is important that you take care of yourself first.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
28 Oct 10
I feel bad whenever i have to reject friends, especially after i have promised to meet up with them. I'm different from u because of my work commitment and so i have to cancel whatever meeting up with friends. Though they don't mind as they know my difficulties, still i feel guilty. Your friends are the same too. They know the difficulties u'r facing and they will be more flexible in trying to meet up with u.
@funnysis (2619)
• United States
25 Oct 10
I am so sory to hear of your bad situation and wish there was an easy answer,It has to be hard not being able to visit with your friends because of your busy schuedule.Maybe some day when you have free time you can visit with your friend for a few minutes uninteruppted.I wish you the best and have a great day.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 10
I understand the feelings of being told in negative but I think your friend can understand your situation well. Your sincerity in telling the truth should be accepted in good faith. We have to prioritize our personal dealings first over others.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Oct 10
hi jugsjugs you must try to take care of you first, so your friends will know I am sure. It is a hazzle with doctors appointment but I have a much'
lesser burden then you, my only child is grown and working hard now on a part time job.
I am having a time getting a referral from my hmo to go to a dermatologitst about the spreading rash on my leg. the stuff sheds big
white flakes and is now starting on the other side of myleg. My primary
care doctor does not know what it is. I had steroids to treat it and antibiotics but it is still red and oozing and flaking. ugly looking mess. but you have so many more problem and I do wish you the best of everything too. hugs from hatley.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
25 Oct 10
If you spread yourself too thin there won't be any time for you. I know that people are busy and you do what you can, if everybody is pulling at you its alright to say no because you should come first. That's not being selfish but if you don't take time for you, who will? The devil would like nothing better than to fill your day with everything but God. Take some time for yourself so you can feel better and then you'll be able to help other people when they need it.
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Sounds like you need an appointment for just about everything.
