your lover says is ashamed of you. what you do? O_O

love^^ - girl is comforting boy she loves^^
Portugal
October 26, 2010 9:48am CST
hi guys ^^ what would you do if your lover said that he/she is ashamed of you? about me if my bf ever said he is ashamed of me i would be completely sad and would cry much but i know that my bf loves me muchy^^ so he wouldnt say that^^ but what about you guys? if your bf/gf said that? what would you do? slap him? ahah please share your cutie stories^^
6 people like this
24 responses
@rexrevol (328)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I'm a guy...so, if she's ashamed of me,...Then there's a huge possibility that I would break up with her. But if she's ashamed of the wrong things that I do...I will appreciate it and take into consideration her concerns. I try my best to be, if not the perfect one, the right guy for her. And also, I will never say I'm ashamed of my lover...^_^
@rexrevol (328)
• Philippines
1 Nov 10
Thanks. I try to be sweet...ahehe... I agree also that caring for someone special also means caring for their feelings. Each of us have different perspectives in how we view LIFE and LOVE. Some people get hurt easily and some do not. If we're really care enough, we should take care also in choosing what words to say. Remember... Words can be as sweet as honey but can also be as deadly as venom. Good Luck and God Bless! ^_^
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
you are very sweet^^ and sure if she said she didnt like something you did would be ok that you tried to change^^ but i mean she says she is ashamed of who you are is normal that you left her. she didnt care for your feelings by saying that to you. and sure no one is perfect so is good that you try to be the right guy for her^^ im happy that you wouldnt say that to your gf ever^^ you are very sweet really^^ feel welcome to always answer my discussions^^
1 person likes this
• Portugal
1 Nov 10
yes sure rex^^ if you care for someone you care for his feelings too^^ everyone is different and if we love we have to respect each other's differences^^ like me i guess i get hurt easier than boy i love. but we respect each other^^ and you are right about being careful with words. is true that some words are very sweet and makes us happy but if we say the wrong ones we can hurt someone badly. good luck to you too^^ you deserve a great gf^^
@joddie (173)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
If ever somebody will tell me like that, then i can do nothing about it. Everybody is entitled to his opinion. If that's what he thinks of me, then so be it. No more next time for i will surely guard myself against it. I will for sure, bring it to my deathbed.
2 people like this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
you mean you would leave him? or you would ignore what he says and continue with him? bcs you shouldnt be with a guy that just says bad about you. if he loves you he should say good things and not just bad. and say to someone im ashamed of you is too bad. is like it means you mean nothing to him. also you should say something back like why are you with me if im a shame for you? and leave him right away^^
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes sure you couldnt continue with him^^ and sure you wouldnt forget. that is something too mean to just forget so easy. anyway is good that you would say something to him to get even^^ he would deserve to hear that for saying something so hurtful. hear something like this i guess must be one of the worst things someone can hear.
1 person likes this
@joddie (173)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I can't continue with a man like that. Of course i will surely leave him but i will not forget what he has done to me. Maybe i will say something to him to get even.
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
Hello sweet, First, I would asked her what are the problems that she has with me that i need to improve. once, she tells that then i would exert effort to do so. unti. such time she will be proud of me that I change because she tells me to for the betterment of the relationship. but if she is still ashamed of me and even humiliate me in front of her friends and families, then i let her go. no more contact with her what so ever. how can she love me if she's ashamed of me. pathetic
2 people like this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
hi letran^^ i agree with you^^ but if my bf said directly he is ashamed of me i wouldnt change at all. i would just leave him. how can you love someone and be ashamed of it? doesnt make any sense. so for sure i wouldnt want a guy like that besides me. even more i wouldnt change who i was for a guy that was ashamed of me. if he loved me i could change but if doesnt why would i?
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Oct 10
When someone loves you, they should not feel ashamed of you. We don't always understand or appreciate what lovers say and do, but it should not cause any shame. if your lover is truly showing signs that they are insulted or ashamed of you, it may be time to rethink your relationship. nobody should have to live with a label of shame.
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
yes you are right^^ no one should be ashamed of his lover^^ im very proud of my bf ^^ he is so cute and so caring^^ and thats true that if the lover shows signs of shame or insulted is bcs doesnt love^^ no one should be with someone that feels that way^^ anyway my bf doesnt feel ashamed of me^^ he is really very sweet and loves me for who i am^^
1 person likes this
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I guess it would depend on what he is ashamed of. For instance, if I was intentionally rude to one of his friends, and he said he was ashamed of me for that, I guess I would listen to his point of view and try not to do it again. If, however, he said he was ashamed of me in general, or something that I did all the time, which is part of my being--I would dump him in a heartbeat. Why would I want to spend time with someone who is not proud of me and who I am? Let him find someone else to criticise!
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
sure if you act bad with one of his friends would be normal that he didnt like that and would be ok that he said he was ashamed of your attitude^^ and im happy that you wouldnt do that again^^ but what i meant here was if he said he is ashamed of who you are. and im happy that you would leave him bcs no one deserves to be with a guy that just send critics.
1 person likes this
@ika2010 (95)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
i think he said like that is for my own good. Maybe i had done something bad and it's better if he says so than if heard it from someone else. Besides, by saying that means he try to be honest to me and him self even those words made me sad....
2 people like this
@ifa225 (14433)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
honestly is gold , you are correct. the truth even it is bitter could make our self better and being a better person is not an easy task
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
ika yes sure he was being honest but that would be too bad to hear. if he is ashamed of who you are why is he with you? if we have a critic to our bf bahaviour we must say i dont like that you act this way but say im ashamed of you? thats too bad you shouldnt take that comment and be with him. you should leave and find a guy that loved you really^^ ifa yes sure is good to become a better person and accept some critics from our bf but a critic like i dont like when you act like this or something. but say that is ashamed of who you are why is he with you then? thats a disrespect. that guy would be a stupid
@shaggin (70644)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I would be really offended if my lover told me he is ashamed of me. The guy that I am seeing I really do believe he is embarrassed to be seen with me which is why he wont let me tell anyone about he and I. It really offends me. Its degrading and makes me feel worthless. I do like him but hes not interested in a relationship so whatever there is nothing I can do about it.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (70644)
• United States
27 Oct 10
We've been seeing each other for quite a few months. In a way I agree with what your saying but in many other ways I dont. He wont come to my house because he doesnt want anyone in town to see his truck there and know about us. And he lives with his parents so if we want to do anything we have to do it in his truck unless he knows his parents are going to be gone for a while. He wont let me just come hang out when his parents are home. Its stupid we cant do normal friend things because of his hang ups. It does hurt but I know he doesnt want a relationship with me so I try not to let it bother me. If he doesnt have those kinds of feelings for me there isnt anything I can do. You cant force someone to feel a certain way just because you want them to. I hook up with other people to but hes the only one I'm interested in.
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes shaggin i understand you^^ you really seem an interesting person to go out with^^ i would like to have a friend like you to go to clubs meet new guys^^ maybe i would stop to be so shy^^ about meeting guys ahah^^ anyway im happy with my bf^^ he is the cutest ever so he is worth of my wait^^ im sorry that he isnt interested in you that way. but im afraid that you get hurt. you love him and are with other guys just for fun. im really sorry that he doesnt see you that way. but i have an idea^^ for my little experience with boys when you start to care less they start to care more. next time he asks you out say that you cant. that you have something to do. and if he asks you what you say just something^^ you will sound misterious and he wont support that you have something more important than him^^ trust me and try this^^ who knows he will get more interested ahah
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
shaggin sweetie i dont think he is ashamed of you^^ just i think that he doesnt want nothing serious like you said so thats why he doesnt want you get too involved in his private life. i know this hurts you so if you want something serious and he doesnt maybe you should think well about continue with him or not bcs you might get hurt since how long are you with him?
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (14433)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
nope. instead i will hug him for the honesty that he said. the ashamed i can handle it later. but the important things is i will make up my personalty and physically
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
you would hug him? you shouldnt. he disrespected you. also you shouldnt change who you are for a guy that didnt respect you. you really must be careful when you have a bf. you cant forget about yourself and your feelings just to please him. that isnt love but obsession. love is respect the other person but also respect ourselves. and you shouldnt change who you are for any guy.
@tincabzh (173)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I dont think he'll get ashamed of me if he does i will ask why? is there something wrong with me? then regardless of the reason i rather leave than to stay with someone who isnt proud of who and what i am!
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes is normal that you wanted to know why he was ashamed of you^^ but is good that you would leave him. he didnt have the right to tell you that. we must always be with someone that loves us the way we are^^ and not with someone that disrespect us saying that is ashamed. im happy that you wouldnt stay with a guy like that. who says that dont have feelings.
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I would feel sad at first afterwards i will talk to him what the reasons are why he would be ashamed of me and then we will try to work it out. I will encourage him of course to never be ashamed of me for we both love each other and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
really? you wouldnt leave him right away if he said that? but these words are too cruel. i couldnt have a normal conversation after this. is good that you would talk with him after he says that. you have a good heart but you shouldnt do that really. someone that says these words is too bad. but is sweet that you would try to solve things^^
@keshia2007r (2880)
• United States
26 Oct 10
i agree. thats not a good feeling to be told that. from a boyfriend, friend or family member. i know we all have people we could be considered ashamed of. not necessarily a close friend. but just in general. correct me if i'm wrong. but in that case, i wouldn't know what do it. i would be really heart broken. and see if its a way to fix the problem, and ask why is it that he/she is ashamed. can't think of anything else to do.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 10
be yourself. tell him to take it or leave it. if he doesnt think ur good enough, then hes not god enough for yuo.
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes^^ my bf didnt tell me that^^ i was just wondering what people would do in this situation^^ and sure im always myself^^ and my bf always says he loves me for who i am^^ and is true that if a guy doesnt think a girl is good enough for him is bcs he isnt good enough and also is a loser ahah^^ if he doesnt like the girl can be honest but say he is ashamed? just a loser would say so^^
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
i dont feel ashamed of no one of my family and my friends^^ also my bf is so cute ^^ im too proud of him^^ but if your bf told you that sure is normal you would ask him why but you wouldnt continue with him right? thats something too bad to say to someone that we love. so if he said that to you is bcs didnt love you so you should leave him right?^^
1 person likes this
@cheneper (133)
• Thailand
26 Oct 10
If your lover says that he's ashamed of you...... leave him! The nerve! lol i haven't had an experience like that, and i'm not wishing to have because my heart will surely be broken. It's hard to heal a broken heart; it will take a long time.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
no my bf didnt say that^^ he always says he loves me for who i am ahah even if i looked like the beast of beauty and the beast i asked him if he would still love me ahah im a bit crazy^^ and he said that a beast is better than nothing ahah he really makes me laugh bcs he was serious when typed that^^ bcs we are away from each other^^ anyway i wish no guy ever says that to you^^
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
you can call me cat^^ yes im lucky to have him^^ he is honest that i know^^ and is hard to find a guy that you can say he is honest^^ also he is trying to make our relationship work^^ so im very happy^^ and sure we dont care for outside^^ but i love his mouth really ahah^^ and sure i always show i love him much^^ im working here to see him soon also^^ thanks for your worry^^ wish to see you in all my discussions^^
@cheneper (133)
• Thailand
27 Oct 10
Hi, you're lucky to have him as your boyfriend, and I'm happy for you. I can sense that you both are enjoying each other's company. (^_^)' That's love, not looking at the outside appearance. Be thankful and always show to him how much you love him. Hopefully, thank you sweetloveforver LOL
26 Oct 10
i don't believe that your boyfriend does love you much. He hardly contacts you, speaks to others and can't be bothered to leave you a message while he is online, you have NEVER met in person, he has no job, no money, too many commitments and so i doubt you would ever meet, although if you do then it is because YOU have saved up to see him, but the money will quickly run out and then you will be saving up again for ages to see him, is it worth it? The answer honestly is NO.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
craigy i know he acted like that before. but he is changing now^^ past week everyday he messaged me by a site where i dont pay bcs i use my computer but for him to message me he has to pay a lot and he does that for me^^ he promised we would talk everyday^^ he is really trying now to make things work^^ you know craigy my bf has many problems and doesnt receive much care from his family so thats why i guess he didnt care as much as me before. but now he is coming back to the sweet, caring guy again^^ i feel he really loves me and now we talk pretty much almost everyday and he is spending much money for me^^ so is bcs i mean to him really^^ about the job i guess he will find when his nephew leaves^^ he has to help his mum for now^^ thanks for your worry craigy but my bf is trying now^^ so i will give him a chance^^
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
of course not craigy. also why you talk that way with me? i never said i would wait three years. sure if i see that we cant save enough i will have to do something. also i wont make a test to him bcs we talk since more than a year and he always been wanting to be with me. also he has many family members and his friends are added in facebook and see my name in his gf^^ even his sister lend him her cell for him to talk with me^^ he is trying to make things work now^^ everyday or almost everyday send me messages^^ he is really caring now^^ so i will trust him^^ that test would be too bad and i know he wouldnt cheat me.
27 Oct 10
I do feel this will end badly. You don't know what he is up to, you may trust him but you don't really know him, temptation is a big thing. Why don't you put him to the test, start a new profile, from another country, different details and try and find a pic of someone else, then start chatting to him and see what he does, many people are caught out this way. You need to see if you can fully trust him. In another topic you said it would take atleast 3 years to save up to go to see him, surely it would take a lot longer. You would need money for flights, acommodation, food and drink etc, maybe a passport. I think it will take you more like 5 years, you don't want to arrive and have no money after the first few hours that you then have to come home, you need enough money to spend enough time there to really see what your boyfriend is like, a week minimum is needed. Then you are back home and saving again for about 5 years. If this is what you call a relationship then we both have 2 completely different meanings for the word.
• India
27 Oct 10
well if my girlfriend tells me like that I would ask her a simple question that if she was ashamed of me then why did she tell that she loved me and then I would leave her I would be sad for some time but I would then think that she was never meant for me and I will find a better one....
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes im happy that you would leave her^^ and sure is normal that you would ask her why she loved you. why be with someone that we are ashamed of? thats stupid. and sure is normal you got sad for awhile but you could find better^^ a girl that really loved you and cared for you for who you are^^ also one that respected your feelings^^ these words who says this is a stupid careless.
• Canada
27 Oct 10
I say, "Goodbye"! Seriously what more is there to say when someone you love says they are ashamed of you?
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes^^ im happy that you would say bye^^ i dont know. maybe solve things. some people always try to save their relations. but me i couldnt. if a guy said he is ashamed of me i would leave him right away. thats too cruel. what could he say to justify? im sorry i didnt mean that? but he said so is bcs meant bcs said out of nowhere. if was in a big arguement could forgive but just suddenly? i wouldnt.
@jaiho2009 (39146)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
hello cat, That's sad to think that my bf will feel ashamed of me. And,it would give me a second thought if he really loves me or not. Because when we love someone we should not be ashamed of him/her no matter what he/she looks,or whoever he/she is. When we love someone we even get to love his/her indifferent side. have a good day always dear
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
hi jaiho^^ yes you are right^^ when we love someone we like everything^^ even his bad side ahah^^ and sure if your bf said that you should leave him. be with a guy that says that is bcs doesnt love you. but im happy and i know that your bf wont say that to you^^ you dont deserve those bad words^^ you really love him and left all behind for him^^ so he must only be proud of you^^ have a good day with your bf too^^
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Oct 10
I wouldnt even bother to slap him, Id simply leave. I was with my ex husband for 6 months when he said he thought he had made a mistake by marrying me......I was gone that same night. Asked for a divorced and havent seen him since. Its been the best decision of my life. Ive been with the same man for 30 yrs and we're very happy.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
you would just leave? well me i would have to slap his damn face first ahah^^ sorry that your ex husband said that to you he was too stupid by talking that way. he shouldnt had say that. he could had been honest and say sorry i dont love you anymore or something. anyway im happy that you left him and asked the divorce^^ he didnt deserve you^^ anyway im happy that you found a sweet guy that really loves you^^ 30 years is too long^^ wish it last^^
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Hmm...maybe I would ask him why? And he is really ashamed of me, I would be more ashamed for having a ridiculous and such a useless boyfriend! ^_^
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
is good that you would ask him why ^^ ahah and sure you would be more ashamed to have a loser as bf ahah i like your answer^^ sure no girl deserves a guy like that^^ he should respect your feelings and dont say that in such a rude way. if doesnt like you anymore should say that instead of say that is ashamed of you.
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Well, if my boyfriend or any other friend would be ashamed of me, then I'll first know why. If it's simply because of no good reason -- or he's just not "satisfied" with me, then it's time for bye bye. :D I wouldn't cry because of it, if he really loved me, then he wouldn't want me to suffer with all those thoughts afterwards. If we break up, it's not my loss but his. :D hope this counts! -Jaja
• Portugal
27 Oct 10
yes sure is normal that you wanted to know why he said that^^ and im happy that you would leave them or him behind. they were stupid people^^ im happy that you wouldnt cry^^ no guy deserves our tears^^ unless he is really sweety ahah^^ and if loved you wouldnt say those words ever^^ im happy that you say that if you broke up would be his loss ^^ thats true^^ some girls blame themselves when their lover says something bad so im happy that you like yourself^^ and know your worth^^ thanks for your answer^^ sure it counts^^
@Karunvig (714)
• India
26 Oct 10
I will say sorry and cry in front of her and a kiss to continue the relation because life and love is not a joke... its sumthng very very special things cant describe in words
1 person likes this
• Portugal
26 Oct 10
ohh but you shouldnt karun. if she said she is ashamed of you is bcs she doesnt love you. is bcs she is selfish and just say bad about you. it wasnt you that had to say sorry but her. she is the one that made a big mistake by hurting you. i know that love is important but you should sometimes let it go if your gf doesnt love you. and if a girl says to a guy she is ashamed of him is bcs she doesnt love him. is sweet what you wanted to do but that should be done only when you are the one making the mistake. but if is your gf you shouldnt.
1 person likes this