"No Crying. "

@Lore2009 (7378)
United States
November 17, 2010 1:43pm CST
Have you ever been told this? I'm sure we all have when we were a child. So how do you feel about crying? How often do you do it? I used to hate crying because I thought it was a wrong thing to do. But I always felt refreshed when I do. Are you a male or female, and how difference does this make about your opinions on crying? How do you feel when you see other people cry? Usually when I see others teary, I get teary too.
13 responses
@marguicha (220765)
• Chile
19 Nov 10
I don´t have anything against crying, except when people cry to manipulate another person. But crying for sadness, for pain and even for joy is ok with me. I cry in movies, reading or even talking about some subjects. I don´t mind.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I agree, using anything to manipulate people is not exception.
• India
18 Nov 10
I think it is important to vent out your emotions. But crying is not the only way out, although it is the most spontaneous one. Crying is okay at times, but crying for every little thing is too childish. Emotional stability is necessary for mental calmness! Personally, I try to control my tears and divert my mind. Music is the best way out. It refreshes you totally and is a much better option than crying.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I don't agree with you because adults can cry as much as children, if we were not conditioned to think it's a childish thing. I also think that to be stable emotionally is with the help of tears. I don't think a lot of things can be as unique as crying to replace it.
• India
18 Nov 10
I love crying whenever I am upset or feeling sick I cry. Whenever someone says gud about me also I cry. My burden comes down after I cry. Its a very light feeling once your tears comes out. I also become teary when I see others crying.Crying is a good way to overcome our bad feelings instead of sharing with others.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
That's very true. I'm glad that you can be ok with crying.
@xiangd (63)
• China
18 Nov 10
when you see others teary,you get teary too ,HEHE,because you are a girl,gentely,this situation always happen on the woman, but I don't mean the man should not to cry, in fact ,there is no different between man and woman,only because the man always used to gulp back the tear and woman don't do that sometimes. But in my opnion ,crying is more benifit to one's health,including psychology and physiology. When we're kid ,parents told me don't cry because you should be admant,but you would find that you will be really more admant and strong after crying everytime,so that's not a bad thing ,you can do it ,that's it!
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I agree. Crying is more courageous.
• United States
18 Nov 10
Now that I'm grown I know that crying is a perfectly natural reaction and emotional release to all sorts of situations and feelings be them happy or sad. Growing up, things weren't always nice, and crying was forbidden. To cry made things much, much worse so I and my siblings learned early on how to not cry. It was even harder to learn how to cry again but now I'm not ashamed of my tears at all.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I'm glad you were able to learn to cry again.
• United States
18 Nov 10
I am a female, and I try not to cry in public because I've been conditioned to see it as weakness. Also, I feel very awkward and defeated if others see me cry. It's sad, because crying is natural and everyone does it. Men often have it worse with this, because when a man cries it is for some reason seen as abnormal and not masculine, when there's nothing wrong with it at all. I was raised in a family where crying was scolded when we were being punished and we were berated for it. So often if I cried I felt like I was letting people get to me. Now, I think that's the reason I don't cry in public, or keep my tears to myself and cry in private. On the other hand, I often tear up at the end of movies, even when they're not that sad. I guess I have a movie weakness. For me, though, seeing others cry doesn't make want to cry. It often makes me a bit uncomfortable, actually. I think it's just due to my childhood and experiences with crying.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I also felt vulnerable when I was seen crying too. I can see how it would be uncomfortable for you to see other cry. It's unfortunate that we are all brought up to force our tears back and to think it is a weak thing, when it's really a courageous thing.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
i get teary eyed, too. i easily cry. sometimes i hate it that i cry easily. but thinking about it, why should i? sometimes when i get so angry,i choose to cry than to blurt out words that could hurt people.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I don't really have a choice because my tears will come out before the words!
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
I used to tell someone that nothing's wrong in crying especially when this can lighten your feeling. But I myself doesn't want to cry, or the right thing to say is that I don't want someone see me crying. I learned it since my childhood, whenever I'm scolded by elders, I controlled myself to cry. And get used to it until the my school days, I've never seen by my teachers crying, and even now that I'm working. If something happened I can't bear anymore, I spent time inside a room, comfort room, or any place where no one could see me crying. At home, I just let it out during my prayer time. For me, it was retained in my mind that crying is showing your weakness, though now I know it is better to let it out, and that is the best way for us not to hold grudge feeling for it will caused us trouble with our health.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I agree, I was taught the same way. I hope you can find someone to cry to one day.
@setsuna26 (2751)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
Hello lore2009 :) im a guy but i admit i do cry. There is this popular saying that real men dont cry .But i will have to say thats not true when people do cry it just means we feel what is going on around us we are one with what we see our heart respond to what we feel and as a natural reaction we cry. Simply put people who tend to cry knows how to use their emotion although theres an exception, too much of anything is also bad.Yes i was told to stop crying when i was kid because my parents will spank me more if i cry even louder. :)I am sympathetic with people who are crying but it doesnt make me feel like crying with them. :)I also feel refreshed after crying . Again its a natural outlet of our body to cry whenever we are faced with excessive troubles or emotional situation.It doesnt matter if your a guy or a girl what matters is how we handle ourselves when we are faced with these situations . Thanks for sharing your thoughts and try to visit my own topics sometime too havea great day
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
@ setsuna26, I agree with Apriljess that it's great that you can cry. I was with someone who never cried and I felt like he was a robot. @Apriljess, that is some harsh rearing! I think it's sad that we are all brought up to think this way.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
18 Nov 10
I'm a female and I cry when I really am angry at someone and if there's no more words to make the person understand how angry I am. I'm never ashamed of crying because it is one of the thing that God gave us anyway, and it is not a sin to cry. I just feel so much better and refreshed after crying than talking to someone about how I feel and their answer is not what we expected or they simply turn against what made us sad and upset. To me, there's a time that a good cry is so much better than a friend, but of course not all the time. Have a nice day
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
That's very true. It is often better than an intended advice or other's words.
@mhypie03 (683)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
I am a cry baby when I see or hear real life stories. I don't usually cry in front of random people. I confide problems to selected people and cry out unwanted feelings to relieve myself from any heavy burden. But I cry most of the time to my bf because I treat him like a close and trusted friend.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I'm glad you have someone to cry to.
17 Nov 10
I'm female and I cry. I hate crying in front of other people though, I try and hold it back until I'm alone. I think crying is the best way to relieve you're emotions and mostly after crying, I'm almost halfway to getting over the situation. It is always seen as much worse if a guy cries because they're supposed to be tough and "manly" but I don't see why there's such a stigma for men crying. People should be able to just let it out and we would all feel better =)
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I agree with you. I think a humanly man is attractive too. I also feel halfway through the situation when I cry, but like you, I don't like to do it in public.
@JazzMina (46)
• United States
17 Nov 10
Hi, Im a female and I do cry at times but I completely hate it. For as long as I can remember I felt like crying make me look and feel weak. I know for alot of people crying takes a load off your chest and makes you feel better, Well for it has the complete oppisite affect for me. I feel that it's a problem that I wont allow myself to cry and I'm currently working on that.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
19 Nov 10
Is the guilt more overwhelming? I can understand that. I hope you find a way to understand that it's fine to cry.