Family and career, which is your first priority?
By Lee Ka
@kaka135 (14994)
Malaysia
December 28, 2010 2:18am CST
To me, family is always my first priority, be it the family I came from (with my parents and siblings) or the family I build (with my husband and my kids). Perhaps it's because both my parents are family-oriented, and I was brought up in this environment, hence I always think family is very important.
There was once my senior was quite disappointed with me, because he said after I gave birth to my son, my priority has given to my family, but not my work. I didn't know why he has that impression, I still do my work as I did, but of course, when my son needs me, I'll definitely go to him first, instead of staying late in the office and work. I am never the person who likes to stay late in the office or think career is my everything. My senior thought it's a waste that I kinda "gave up my career" for taking care of my son, he thinks everyone should pursue for his or her career, as it's the most important and reliable thing in the life. Well, of course, I totally do not agree but I respect there are different opinions and thoughts.
What do you think?
2 people like this
17 responses
@bounce58 (17380)
• Canada
30 Dec 10
I am the same way. I and I've proven this twice in my career. A long time ago, I quit my job where I was already getting ahead, so I could move my family here where we are right now. It was a combination of health and family opportunities that made me decide on the move.
A couple of years ago, I had an opportunity to work in a place far from where we lived, but offered twice the money. I thought that being with my kids was more important than money.
Don't get me wrong, I am a workaholic. I come in early, and I stay late. But if it causes me to be away from my family for the longest time, I would chose my family first all the time.
@maezee (41985)
• United States
31 Dec 10
Career, right now, but that's only beacuse I don't have a family of my own. I love working. I would work 99 hours a week if I could. (Well, maybe not THAT much, but you get the point). It gives me something to do, something to think about. Perhaps if I had kids I would feel different.
@bettydeng5 (1822)
• China
28 Dec 10
Hi kaka, I completely agree with yours opinion, for me as a mother, I should take family as my first priority, for a woman, there is no anything can be more important than family, so I choose my family not my career. However, as a man, I think their opinions are not same as women, because they should earn money and support family, they should take as career as most important factor. so I can understand your senior doesn't agree your opinion, which is the main reason.
@tkonlinevn (6427)
• Vietnam
18 Jan 11
I think that you're right. My family is also my first priority. Because we can live with our family to the end of our life. But career is not.
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
21 Apr 11
There is no doubt my family is my priority. I have passed on some possible promotion at work just to have time for my family. I would have wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, but our current finances does not permit us to live on a one income household for now. So I’m currently helping out my husband for now, hopefully we can save up to start some business someday.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
28 Dec 10
I think my family is the most important part of my life. I love my family and i always put them first. I am start a new business and it's so very important to me. starting a business is a lot of work and i am so excited about it. my family is very supportive of me doing this. they know how important this is to me and they are there for me.
@jillmalitz (5131)
• United States
29 Dec 10
That is discrimination. Period. Here we often have the same problem and women still get paid less for the same job. Many companies hesitate to hire women of childbearing age because they fear that they will spend money and time training them only to have them leave to have children or lose time because of them. It is against the law here but it still happens. It also happens to people who are older workers because companies are afraid they can not work as well or will have costly health problems. None of this is fair but it happens. I've been a victim of this so I know how you feel.
@celticeagle (190127)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Dec 10
Well, I must say that family is most important to me. Back in the late 90's I set a goal for myself to get a job at a certain company where I had wanted to work for several years.It had great benefits and was a real step up from what I was used to both in money and type of job. So I watched for when they were hiring and I applied, took the test and got the job. I was so excited. Then my mom got cancer. I am any only child so I was fully responsible. I quit my new job with the great benefits after only working there afew months, took a part time job that barely payed the bills and put mom in a home where I could visit her and was assured she was well taken care of while I was at work. Then after mom passed I had difficulty raising my granddaughter. I had guardianship of her and she was very hard to manage. I finally had to relinguish the guardianship things got so bad. And now I am here helping my daughter raise her son. I am a caregiver and I care very much for my family.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
28 Dec 10
I think that family is the first priority. I am lucky enough to work for a company that has a great respect for family. There is also the "Family Medical Leave" law that protects a person and their position within the company if their child or close family member becomes ill and needs attention. I have to say that I am lucky enough not to have to choose between family and career...I have them both.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
28 Dec 10
For me now, I don't have a family, and I lost my ex - girlfriend for some reason. So, my priority will be work, and to make more money in real life. I just have to make some success within my lifetime, otherwise, my life just a total waste. Don't you think? If I own my family, I will have to take my family as the priority.
@tvarasu10 (101)
• India
29 Dec 10
family is the first priority because the career we pursue is only for the family.
@love4kolkata (279)
• India
29 Dec 10
Hi there!!! For me, career always at the secondary level. Primary is my family. Because of them only, I have become whatever I am today. In your career life, anything can happend which you are not sure of. And there is always a kind of competition present. But family is always close to heart. They will be always with us, in hard time and at the time of joy..
@ElicBxn (64177)
• United States
28 Dec 10
and there is the difference between men and women
some men (or women who don't have children) that just don't understand the importance of family
I may not have children, but I certainly understand the importance of home life - if you aren't happy at home, why would you want to support it at a job?
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
28 Dec 10
Good morning, my family has always come first but i did have to work alot to provide for my 2 sons because i had no help from their fathers. Your senior must not have had children. Happy new year.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
28 Dec 10
Hi Kaka,
I am a man and cannot be a mom and so I may never realize how important the work is or the family is
.
But, I am ruled by my heart... and it says that Family is my first priority. I can go without a job for days (if not more) but without my family... I cannot go on a single day. That makes me.
I have in reality turned down many offers (quite lucrative ones with not only great money but also great prospects) just to be with my family. I think at 36 this is the correct kind of approach...
But when you are budding up(early 20s or so) you must give importance to the career as that is going to shape up the rest of your life.
Cheers,
theSids.
.
But, I am ruled by my heart... and it says that Family is my first priority. I can go without a job for days (if not more) but without my family... I cannot go on a single day. That makes me.
I have in reality turned down many offers (quite lucrative ones with not only great money but also great prospects) just to be with my family. I think at 36 this is the correct kind of approach...
But when you are budding up(early 20s or so) you must give importance to the career as that is going to shape up the rest of your life.
Cheers,
theSids.