Mother allows her son to express himself HIS way!

@dloveli (4368)
United States
January 3, 2011 7:26am CST
I was watching the TODAY SHOW and they had a mother and her son on. Reason being is because the son chooses to wear dresses, sparkly things, and so called feminine colors. Hats off to her. The mother was saying it started when he was two. He would pick out dresses and clothes in pink. She said she tried to redirect him until one day her 8 yr old said "Mom why dont you just let him be happy and express himself the way he wants." Its clear this woman is an excellent example of a GREAT mother! She said that it started when he wanted to be a princess for Halloween. They allowed the little boy who is now five speak and he said wearing the stuff he likes makes him feel happy. It doesnt necessarily mean that he's gay. Its doesnt mean he wants to be a woman. Its just a little boy who likes to be sparkly. That is the nicest thing Ive ever heard. He is so lucky to have the parents he does. That is for damn sure! What would you do if it was your son? I would love him to death and help him pick out the best and brighest! THink about and then tell me....Happy MyLotting dl
4 people like this
15 responses
@dawnald (84257)
• Shingle Springs, California
4 Jan 11
Well I know my husband would be all bent out of shape and telling him that's not appropriate and so on. I wouldn't have a problem with it, but I think I'd be having a talk with him about how other people might not understand (prepare him for teasing and/or bullying in other words).
3 people like this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
You know Dawnald I thank you for being honest. Most people wouldnt admit that for fear of being called prejudiced or some other stupid thing. This is what society has done to most ALL-AMERICAN families. We tend to worry about what the Joneses may think. My parents would've done the same EXACT thing. Not because they're afraid but because they dont want to deal with the ridiculous inuendos. As you stated others may not understand. My parents wouldnt want to explain. My dad would rather keep it a secret or try to ignore it. I couldnt allow myself to deal with it this way for the simple fact that Ive always went against the grain. I do what I want because I believe in it. I couldnt careless about anyone's opinion. However, I must admit my life has been tough because of this. My sister is like you. She would do just as you described. Because of this she and I barely speak. However her children think Im awesome. I would love a better relationship with my sister but have to stand behind what I believe in. My children have been raised to be what they want. If I had a son and he wanted to be a princess, he would've been the best damn princess he could be. Happy MyLotting and thanks for your honesty. dl
1 person likes this
@jhartana (1085)
• Australia
4 Jan 11
It's amazing these days that children can think of something couraging and positive. I would say I support him although he's only five. Let him enjoy his childhood years. Though he still does not fully understand it but I am sure someday he will understand. If I were the parent of that boy I would happily let him enjoy anything (as long as it is appropriate) that will make his childhood years happy. This will be crucial point in child growth. Good on him and I am happy for him too.
3 people like this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
I think you would have done the right thing if this happened to you. The only thing im different on is the fact that IM the parent I decide what's appropriate or not. If he was my son, I would let him do ANYTHING that makes him feel good. I dont care who/what considers it appropriate or not. the only thing I wouldnt allow is for him to do anything to hurt himself or others. Other than that he's free to express himself ANYWAY he chooses. Thanks dl
@celticeagle (124657)
• Boise, Idaho
4 Jan 11
I would probably have reacted the same way the mother did. I have heard of kids(boys) that liked to play with dolls when they were young. SOme parents wouldn't allow it and the kids grew up to be malajusted and really went off the deep end. The ones that were allowed to be themselves grew up just the opposite. Alot of times it is just a period they are going through. Learning about themselves and the world.
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
You're absolutely right Celtic! It is usually just a phase. Things are much different now a days. Things are not so cut and dry. People are more accepting. These days men wear pink without being afraid that someone will call them a fairy. lol. I remember when I was little if they even used the pink crayons the other boys would pick on them. I love the fact that little boys even think the way this amazing young man did. Happy MyLotting dl
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (124657)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Jan 11
Really! I agree. Happy Mylotting to you too.
@maximax8 (31165)
• United Kingdom
3 Jan 11
The little boy is lucky to have such accommodating and understanding parents. A princess can look really pretty but a prince has to look very handsome. I like things that look like they are sparkling too. The boy is just five years old so there is no harm. A Scottish man can wear a kilt and that looks like a skirt. A girl or a lady can wear trousers. A man can get away with wearing a pink top or a pink tie with his suit. There is nothing wrong with the little boy being different. When he is a man he is likely to be a gentle and caring sort of person. A mother should accept the way her son or daughter wants to express himself or herself unless it is dangerous. What the little boy is doing is innocent and sweet.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (43092)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Jan 11
It's very brave of them to be able to do this. I certainly think that this is a good thing. He should be able to wear what they want. It does take a lot of courage for them to do this. But I have respect for these parents. I think that this is perhaps one of the best ways to do it.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
Excellent point Dodo! I was touched by the story in it's entirety that I hadnt taken the time to see what courage it must have taken for the little boy to mention his desires. Even though he's young he knows that the other kids may be mean to him. It takes guts to dawn a dress in front of friends, family, etc. I, too, have much respect for these parents. Especially the mother who never, not even once, tried to persuade her son otherwise. Hats off to you for helping me see the bigger picture and to the parents for being the people they are and raising such an excepting, creative, and AWESOME son. dl
@dorannmwin (36634)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I am the kind of parent that chooses to let my children express themselves in the way that they are the most comfortable with. So far with my children it hasn't meant that they've wanted to express themselves in ways that aren't typical for their genders, but if they did want to express themselves in ways that are contrary to typical gender roles, it wouldn't be something that would bother me at all. If my son decided he wanted to wear a dress or carry a purse, it would not be something that was distressing to me.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
Its good to know that Im not the only parent that doesnt think the world is ending because a child may choose to dress differently that expected by society. Individuality is a gift. Most choose to disregard it and follow the trends. Its really sad too. Because we are stifling our creativity. Happy MyLotting my friend dl.
@anniepa (27665)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I certainly HOPE I'd show the same class this mother is showing! Unfortunately, I'm sure some of my friends and relatives would be highly critical and think it would somehow be harmful to a boy to be allowed to wear things like that but I sure don't think so. This is one of the best examples I've seen in ages of a child having more sense and sensitivity than many adults! Hooray for that 8 year old. Annie
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
I agree with you Anniepa! I couldnt have been a better mother than this one if I tried. As you said, she handled this with such class, dignity, and most of all pride. That is the finest example of UNCONDITIONAL love Ive ever heard and probably will ever hear. I wish I could meet this mother and child. Thanks for the great well wishes and praise to this mother. Hopefully someone out there will tell her there's some parents and friends out there that think what she did was the greatest! Happy MyLotting dl
4 Jan 11
He is only 5 so nobody knows yet how he is going to develop as he grows up. He msy be a transvestite or a transexual and if he is it is something you are born with so no matter what happens you can't change that. As far as is reasonable and practical just go along with him and see how he grows up.
@babyEj (1522)
• Philippines
4 Jan 11
I salute parents like her who courageously allowed her son to express himself as he likes to. As a parent , it needs wide understanding and brave heart to accommodate the difference of his son among other kids. This little guy is lucky having her on his side. Cheers!
1 person likes this
@magrylouyu (1629)
• United States
4 Jan 11
I am sort of in the same postion. My step son is almost 8 years old and he is constantly playing with barbies, dolls and other girl items. It doesnt help that he has 3 younger sisters that always want him to play with him. He doesnt go to stores with me however and choose on his own pink things or sparkly things. If this were my son doing this I would be supportive of his choosing. It would probably be very hard, but children are just trying to find their place in this big world. This little boy is very lucky to have the parents he has. Many parents would discourage this type of thing thinking that he will grow up being gay or something of the sort.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Jan 11
if it were my son,i'd let him if that's what he wants. i'm an artist so i have no problem with the idea of him being flambouyant. i would encourage him being creative. wouldn't care if he were gay either.my son would be my son.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20219)
• United States
3 Jan 11
I think this takes a lot of courage on the part of the parents. Each of us is born into this world with individual roads to walk, the best parents allow the expression of these choices to remain the child's. Sure the culture and social structure will invade with rules and laws, but the undivided support of one's parents gives extra strength to a child that thinks outside the box. Blessings
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 11
that is a great mom! i would let my kid do whatever he or she felt was right.. i dated a few guys that liked to dress up like women so its no biggie to me.. if you try to stop the behavior it will just backfire so might as well let him be what he wants and whos to say next year he wont hate dresses??
@dloveli (4368)
• United States
11 Jan 11
Very, VERY, true Moonlit! It may have backfired on them and they could blame no one but themselves. This boy is brave beyond his years. I know people who dont have the guts to wear certain things they would like to because of what might be said. Who cares what others think its what we think that matters. Happy MyLotting dl
@nangisha (3498)
• Indonesia
31 Jan 11
Hi Dloveli!. I don't have child right know but I will never let him to act like thats. Peer pressure here quite hard if he act like thats, no boy at his age will wiling to play with him and maybe only girl who will play with him. In others word its will drag him into Gay. I think a boy need another fully grown up man as role model like his father. As long he got role model who not disappointing him I thing every thing will OK. Here is not common to let a boy dress like girl or play like doll. We are quite straight with gender separation.
@sid556 (30986)
• United States
14 Jan 11
What a great story and sorry that I missed it. I think more parents should allow their children to be the free spirits that they were meant to be. In doing so, we will help rid the world of prejudgice and create happier, nicer people. Even if this kid were gay...let him be who he is. He is lucky to have such a great mom!