Making mistakes in life :-s
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
January 15, 2011 8:42pm CST
Call me Queen Mistakes, the Blundering Monarch, stumbling through life falling flat on her face, then getting up again only to trip over the front of her gown and twists her ankle as she tries to get up again, falling hard on her bottom.
I'm a polite Brit-shouldabe person but I'm brutally honest with people. While I'm tactful and very gentle with people, I won't lie to them or condone with actions that affects me and my personal and spiritual life. It's just me, and people hate the blunt and outspoken part of me even though I don't speak out very much.
Yet I'm very sensitive and I can cry at the sligtest "yelling" or "chewing-out". I just feel like I make enemies for no reason, or for very little reason. I know I have depression and anxiety disorder but still, does my proverbial armpits stink that bad??? I admit that people don't know me well, or my deepest thoughts, only 1 or 2 people outside of my immediate family. But when anyone chews me out for something, it's like a bigger-than-it-actually-is kinda thing, then I feel like I'm always making mistakes and nothing I say and do is right.
Please, guys, don't go on about "Oh, you're a good person, blahblahblah" but I *REALLY* need to hear of related feelings/incidents/whatever you feel free to share I have to know that I'm not alone. I'm feeling very conflicted now. I'm going through a very deep soul-searching now and I just need your experiences and learning stuff, whatever kinda thing. Thanks so much for reading this.
2 people like this
3 responses
@GardenGerty (169449)
• United States
17 Jan 11
I have a thing or two to say about your post. First, very superficially, you have painted a great picture. I can see your Queen Mistakes. I think she would be a great character in a children's book helping kids cope with their feelings about never being quite good enough, or never being accepted. I like the character you just drew with your words.
I understand about being blunt with people. I tend to say what I think and then think about what I said. I want to help people, and be kind, but I will not lie.
If you have one or two really good friends, you are rich. Many people will tell you that they are my friends, but I have two people besides my husband and family that I really consider close friends, the others I keep at arm's length.
I found that I went throuh a really serious run of feeling bad and like a misfit, as well as judgemental of everyone else when I was depressed. Whatever you say to yourself, about yourself, is what you will believe. So be kind. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to your darling children.
People who never make mistakes, never take any risks, never have any adventures and have very little opportunity to learn.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169449)
• United States
17 Jan 11
I am not sure if I remember what happened with the overwhelming issues. It would be a long story to tell you about what was happening in my life. I do believe that faith played a part in the healing of my thoughts. I had health issues that were tied in to the negative thinking.Severe stomach pains, on medication for it from time to time. I will tell you that I had issues about my relationship with my husband, and his depression. I would hear myself thinking weird, and sometimes jealous of other couples, and I knew it was wrong. I did have to learn that I was not responsible for other people, but only for myself, and for forgiving myself. I guess I had to mentally take my hands off and let God take control instead. It is something you end up doing over and over again.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
24 Jan 11
Ya, it is hard to let go and let G-d help us through our troubles, but thanks for the reminder, (I constantly have to be reiminded of that!)
I guess the best thing for us is take things "one day at a time" it's all we can do.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
17 Jan 11
Thanks for the encouragement, I was actually talking about the very same issue today with Hubby this afternoon and he said "If you don't have anyone else in the world, you have me". It's a very hard thing for me to do to be easy on myself because I don't want to be lazy or obnoxious or anything, so finding an even balance would be nice :-s
Did the serious run of yourself feeling pass on its own, or did you have to concientiously have to work on your thought pattern? I know for me I have to continue to work on my thought patterns.
1 person likes this
@JohnMach (550)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
People are like that. Just deal with it. Everyone acts tough, everyone acts perfect but the thing is no one is. If you fear the notion of someone shouting at your face, just look at fear straight in the eyes and laugh at it (from the inside, of course). The thing about fears is they're only inside the mind. If you're not going to face them, you're not going to overcome them.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
16 Jan 11
I actually like your response, you are correct, people do tend to act tough, it's a natural instinct especially in stronger-willed people, I suppose. Thanks for sharing.
PS - Welcome to Mylot, as well!
@hardworkinggurl (37062)
• United States
16 Jan 11
Here is how I think with regards to your discussion, you know you better then anyone else can ever imagine possible and or guess what you are like. As for me I find that I am my worst enemy, as I know very well that I am the type of person that is willing to be my left arm for just about anyone know very well I need that arm. However when it comes to feeling bad about myself and criticizing myself I can be the worst person to my self.
So what I have learned after several beatings in life is that I have to care about me a tad more then I actually do. By this I mean I have to stop being so hard on myself and accept that I cannot control the way the world sees me and or behaves. So although not an easy task, I will say though that I do sleep nicely at night knowing that I put my best foot forward and did all I can to accept that tomorrow is another day for me to try again.
Best of luck to you and take care of yourself.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
16 Jan 11
Thanks for your response, I do know that people tell me that I should relax more and not be hard on myself, I just wish that I can relax. I guess it's because my 1st foster home I was expected perfectionalism so I do like to be perfect :-p But on the other hand I realise that NOBODY is perfect.
That's good that you can relax now and sleep better at night, HWG, there's nothing worse than insomnia, for sure!
