I find out sometimes that my son wants to act up in school.
By margeryann
@margeryann (1845)
United States
February 1, 2011 6:39pm CST
I sometimes think that my son is being real good at school since I'm not getting letters or phone calls saying that he is acting up.About every time I see the teacher for the normal routine parent teacher conferences she tells me he has been acting up. I tell her that she needs to let me know the same day that it happens so I can keep that from happening by punishing him some way or another. She says she will but she doesn't and I find out the next time I see her that he is still doing it. So, after that time I wrote her and told her that he is going to continue acting like this if I never know I would like for you to send me a behavior sheet home everyday that way I know if he purposely didn't bring it home and say if he is good or bad for that day and what it was that he did so we can try to change that behavior. She did that for a little while and stopped so I would say I haven't got any behavior sheets and she said yeah, I've been busy. So, she will send them for a little while and then stop. Well, this happens a lot.
I'm starting to wonder if this is why bullying happens a lot in schools if the school is told and doesn't tell the parents how is the bullies going to stop. I do know that some parents you can tell this too and they won't do nothing about it they actually get mad when someone says that their kids did anything wrong. They say that they know that there kids wouldn't do anything like that.
I like to know when my kids are doing anything wrong. I want my kids to be respectful to everyone and not think that they can get by with everything. If they think that they can get by with everything they are going to be some bad adults being in lots of trouble.
5 people like this
8 responses
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
2 Feb 11
I think that communication between teachers and parents is important. If teachers don't tell parents about problems that occur, then there is no chance of the problem being solved. I guess a lot of it also depends on the teacher really knowing the students. Why might the student be acting up? If it is because the child is hungry or not feeling well, this can be remedied by making sure they have had enough to eat or they are sent to the nurse to make sure they aren't so sick they need to be sent home. If a behavior problem is because of boredom with the teaching method, then the teacher needs to look and see if there is something they can do to gain the student's interest. Sometimes, it might be enough to acknowledge the student and let them know that they have been heard. I think communication is really the key. If the teacher doesn't send home the desired communication, perhaps you could ask your son how the day went. It doesn't have to be an accusatory question. You might find out that he is actually bored with the material and needs something to further stimulate his mind. Or he might not be able to keep up with the other students and might need extra help. Find out what he thinks about his class and see if there might be an answer there. These are some of the ideas that I have learned in my current class. I don't know if it will help, but it can't hurt. Good luck with this!
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting and for the good advice. Some of the reasons why he might act up is he is in special ed and they sometimes don't want to help him and he doesn't know how to do it and he gets mad. I did tell them that he doesn't know how to do it. He also is mad that he is in special ed and he wants to be in the regular classroom but he has too much problems learning to be in there all the time. He has had the same teachers since Kindergarten so he might be getting bored with the same teachers every year. He does go to the regular class for 3 or so of his assignments but that is all. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
2 Feb 11
It sounds like the special ed class is not what he needs. Is he able to do any work on his own at home? I wonder if you could access some of the websites that help students. If you want, I can go into my textbook or class discussions because that is what my current class is all about--using technology and helping special needs students with technology. There were a lot of suggestions of sites and technologies that could be used to help special needs students. Is he able to use the computer himself? Does that interest him? Some special ed students might do better in an online environment I am told and if that is the case, you should see if there is such an environment in your school system. He would be able to work at his own pace and might be less bored so there would be less acting up. What state are you in? I have been told by classmates that there are online schools in some public school systems for students that don't succeed in the regular classroom. Perhaps in the resource room they could set something like that up. I am not studying to be a special ed teacher, but since the topic is currently being discussed in my class, I figured that I'd share it.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Feb 11
I think its very admirable that u want to know if ur child is behaving or not. I always did to. It's a shame more parents aren't like u.Teachers don't go the extra mile sometimes that they should. I know they have a hard job but i don't think they are as dedicated as they use to be when it comes to extra work.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
3 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. I know you're right a lot of parents don't care how they act when they don't have to deal with them. As, long as they don't get on their nerves it doesn't matter. Thank you for such nice words.
You're right it doesn't seem like a lot of teachers are dedicated in helping the kids . You would think even if they were selfish that they would want to tell the parents when the child is acting up every time so they can try to stop having to deal with the childs bad behavior.
Have a good day!
@dfollin (27267)
• United States
2 Feb 11
When my son's were in school,the teachers did send home a daily or weekly behavior report.They are now adults,but I do have a 14 year old daughter and I talk at least twice a week with her counselor and get emails from the teachers.
Her problem is not behavior(at school,anyway)it's getting her homework done.
But,I totally agree with you about why the bully issues keep going on in school's.The teacher's,couselors and principal's need to keep positive contact with the student's parent's.
Her problem is not behavior(at school,anyway)it's getting her homework done.
But,I totally agree with you about why the bully issues keep going on in school's.The teacher's,couselors and principal's need to keep positive contact with the student's parent's.@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. You are definitely correct the school does need to inform the parents of everything so the kids can be better in school in learning or behavior or any other concerns that the school might have. Have a good week.
@bunnybon7 (50970)
• Holiday, Florida
2 Feb 11
what a good mother. you are surely teaching them right and the sad part is, you may still have one or 2 that will not always do as they were taught. the way the law sticks their nose in these days, its very hard to know how to handle these things, but you are a very good mother to be that concerned with behavior. 
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting and for being so nice. I know your right on every kid is different when it comes to behavior no matter if they are raised the same or not. My oldest son he hardly ever got in trouble, had a good attitude and didn't like to be in trouble so he tried his very best to not. He was very polite. My youngest is getting better with his attitude as time goes by and gets in trouble for his attitude but he doesn't do this all the time but he has his moments of being mouthy,trying to annoy people on purpose, he throws a fit when he gets in trouble instead of just taking it. They are definitely a lot different and I'm not going to give up on him getting better and I'm still going to punish him and have talks with him why he needs to straighten up. He sometimes tells me that he can't wait tell he is an adult so he wouldn't have any rules. I tell him that adults have rules too if we break them we go to jail. Don't get me wrong he doesn't act up all of the time at home just every now and then but during the times that he was getting by with it at school I could see a change in his behavior at home. Thinking he could get by with it here too! Have a good day.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
2 Feb 11
If that teacher wanted to change things...she should be sending home those sheets. The more you talk about this teacher, the less I think she is had the ability to deal with children. They can't think that every child is going to come in there and act like a robot. They have to be able to channel certain energies and if it is discipline they need, they need to have a plan in place and inform the parents. Is this teacher new or something?
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
3 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. No she isn't knew.Other years she would call me as soon as he acted up and she helped him with his work then. I don't know what the deal is now.
Maybe she feels he is older and doesn't need it , I don't know or he is getting boring to her since she has had him so long for a student. Have a good day!
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
2 Feb 11
That teacher should not be a special ed teacher. Although I think all children could benefit from the extra work and attention that special ed children get (or are supposed to get, doesn't seem to be happening for your son) it is even more important to ensure that children who have learning or social difficulties are taken care of properly. All the children in his class should have a behaviour sheet every day, or at least every week. As you pointed out, how can you have a consistent strategy at home and school if the teacher doesn't communicate?
Is it so hard for each child to have a "behaviour book" and take ten minutes at the end of the day for each child to write down they thought they behaved (or even use smiley stickers for good, frowny stickers for bad) and then have the teacher come round for a quick discussion whether she agrees with the self-assessment or not? When I was a kid "regular" classrooms had things like that! Education has really gone downhill.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.I agree there needs to be communication in knowing how the students are behaving and more help so they can get closer to the grade level that they are supposed to be in. I know when I was a kid we tried hard to get a prize or a sticker for good behavior and sometimes for making good grades on a test. Have a good day!
@laken02 (3065)
• United States
2 Feb 11
i think i would be more upset at that teacher sounds like she is not doing her job it is her responsibility to tell you as soon as your child acts up.. no matter how busy she is that is not right.. if i were you i would talk to someone higher then her and solve this problem like her principle i would call a parent teacher meeting as soon as possible... and see if after that meeting that things from your son changes in a better direction... it is really important to have a good relationship with your sons teacher .. and that means communication ... good luck
and dont be too hard on your son he could be having problems as well that his teacher has not communicated with you...
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting and for the good advice.When she told me about it the first time and the other time where it was a normal teacher conference. I was upset at her more then him since I wasn't told before that. When I left I didn't get an attitude with my son I just told him he needs to not act up in school and I told her to tell me the same day it happens because he gets awarded for being good in school and she said okay and when the next meeting happened and she told me the same thing I then told her that I need a behavioral chart saying what he did and if he is good to still send it. The reason why I want to know what the behavior was is so I know if it is as bad as she says and to know how severe the punishment should be or if it even needs to be done. for example something being took a way that he likes for a day or longer.He hates things being took away then any other punishment.Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@AmorousPrince (44)
• Philippines
2 Feb 11
I believe that values formation and integration starts in school. It's true that your child's teacher needs to inform you the day of the said incident. Being a parent, one would always believe that your child is at his/her best behavior. But setting things like this aside sort of don't work at all, compared to consistent communication with the child and the parents. Other than that, I'd like to think your son is going through a phase.
I was once a very naughty boy in school.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
2 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.You are very correct. You can't work on a problem that you don't know exist. I would like for them to tell me when he acts up and what it is that he is doing wrong so I know if she is over reacting and to know if it is as serious as she says.
I tell myself that too that it might be a phase. I'm hoping so. The phase will stop quicker if he knows that I will find out right a way when he does something.
My husband said he acted up a lot in school too as he doesn't say that in front of our son that wouldn't help matters out any. LOL. Have a good day and if it is cold where you live stay warm.
