Do you Honor an RSVP???
By alaskanray
@alaskanray (4636)
United States
February 12, 2011 12:32am CST
I was really hurt tonight. Not intentionally, I'm sure, but it still hurt nonetheless. The message I got was a great big "You are nothing to us" from people whom I thought were my friends. Why, you ask? Well, I will tell you.
I planned a party at my place making firestarters. We had one last month and had so much fun with it I thought I would expand my invitation list and get more people in on the fun. I printed up eight invitations and passed them out. Each invitation had a very obvious RSVP on it. Well, the time came for my party and no one showed. Only one called. Now, I don't know about you but I was always taught that ignoring an RSVP was considered very rude and the least you should do is call to apologize if you are not going to show.
This was not the first time this had happened to me. It seems to be my lot in life to be invisible. The obvious message is, "Nobody loves me." I cannot tell you how many times in the past thirty years I have passed out printed invitations...often in the numbers above 50...to an event only to have them completely ignored. The old BeeGees song "I Threw a Party and Nobody Came" has been the story of my life. Am I the only one who experiences this? Do you RSVP when a host asks you to? Is this just the norm in this day and age or am I truly just the unlucky one and happen to be surrounded by unbelievably rude people? It hurt so bad tonight, I was actually crying. Is a phone call too much to ask?
4 people like this
8 responses
@ElicBxn (63252)
• United States
13 Feb 11
sadly, a lot of folks these days think it only means if they are coming... they don't know French and even if they did, don't think it applies to them.
Personally, I'm wondering how you can tell someone that they are NOT welcome to a party... because I don't want the nephew of the roomie to come, unless he's got $1000 in his hand to repay me for what he's stolen from me.
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
13 Feb 11
That is a tricky proposition, Elic. I don't know what to tell you but good luck with it. Only thing I can think of is to simply not invite him to begin with. 
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
16 Feb 11
Well, we have had a couple of parties, and get togethers at our house since we bought it almost 1 1/2 yrs. ago. We have invited quite a few people to these over the time as well. The first one we did get quite a few to come, and had a major house full and it was fun. Since then the amount of people seems to dwindle and like you said even with invitations expecting RSVP's it still seems like hardly anyone ever shows or sends a message. All I can say is do not let it bother you. Everyone these days has such a busy life that it is hard to find time to do everything. Sweep it under the rug, and find out everyone's opinions to if you should ever consider doing it again and go from there.
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
17 Feb 11
Their not coming didn't bother me near as much as their not calling at the very least. I can understand them having conflicting commitments but to not call to let me know is just plain rude.
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
12 Feb 11
I know how you feel, I organize a get together every year and I never know how many people are going to come because some let me know they are coming, some say they are coming then don't turn up then there is the ones that don't let me know at all it is very frustrating and hurtful and it is just plain rude...but that seems to be society today...
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
12 Feb 11
I blame the parents. After all, it's their job to teach their kids manners and RSVP etiquette is something that needs addressing.
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
14 Feb 11
No, a phone call is not too much to ask. However it seems that young people are not being taught social etiquette any more. I don't know the answer to your problem of no response. With no more than 8 invitees, you could have called them after getting no response within a reasonable length of time. You should not have to do that, though.
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
14 Feb 11
Well, my daughter did call a few of them on the night of when no one showed up. No one bothered to apologize, though.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
12 Feb 11
It is just common courtesy to reply to RSVP. If you don't respond, it can be difficult for your host to plan those special events. Ignoring an RSVP can seem like a slap in the face to the person that invited you.1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
12 Feb 11
You are so right! I prepared nachos for a crowd and my daughter and I were the only ones eating. I could have saved myself some money had I known that no one was coming.
@nj_1022 (251)
•
12 Feb 11
RSVP should be honor or at least have the respect to reply to an invitation. An RSVP means that they are reserving seats for you however you have to reply in return to confirm your attendance
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
12 Feb 11
RSVP literally means "Respond Please". It stands for "Repondez S'il Vous Plait" Which is French for "Respond Please". The host is asking you to let him/her know so that he/she knows what to prepare for. When you see it on wedding invitations it is accompanied by a return card for such a formal event but a phone call is all that is necessary for an informal event. I realize that some folks don't even know what it means but it is not that rare a request.
@fabjonah (140)
• Philippines
12 Feb 11
omg, im so saddened with what happened to you. at some point, yeah it showed that nobody cared for you anymore coz the people you think close to you ignored you.
there could be a lot of reasons out there that they may raise, however act of courtesy, they at least call or text you that you'll get informed that you won't expect them to show up. also, at least you know their reasons for not coming.
yeah, i still honor rsvp. what i usually do when i throw a party, aside from the invitation card, i also texted/called them for confirmation. that way i could gauge the attendees.
that's ok! maybe people nowadays are just very busy working and earning. maybe they don't bother seeing themselves partying...
hope everythins' fine now...
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
12 Feb 11
This wasn't even that much of a party...I just had planned for us all to make firestarters, watch a movie and eat nachos. I kept the gathering small because my house is small...eight invitations, and that was ambitious for my house. The point of an RSVP is that the invitee is responsible to tell the host one way or another. The host has other things to attend to and can't be expected to call each guest to find out if they are going to show or why they don't. It's only one call for the guest, after all...multiple calls for the host. That's why they invented the RSVP.
By the way...are you aware that RSVP is from the French "Repondez S'il Vous Plait"? Translated, "Respond, please."
@mingviva03 (127)
• Philippines
12 Feb 11
I never ignored an RSVP, even if its not written in the invitation. I made sure I informed the person who invited me that I will be coming or not. because I know this is important for the person who is preparing the event. I also made invitations myself and I don't like to happen that I gave too much effort for the preparation and no one will come. I hope your friends would realize the effort you exerted to organize a party.
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
12 Feb 11
Thanks. I don't think I would have been so upset if it weren't for the fact that this was not the first time this has happened to me. I invited upwards of 30 people to my 40th birthday party...a beach party...and not a single one even bothered to notify me or show up. This was 13 years ago, right? And it still hurts.
