'Now I know who my friends are?'
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
March 9, 2011 3:46am CST
I don't wish to argue more on this statement but it has become somewhat a popular statement when misunderstandings happen between two 'good' friends. I am now thinking are we not matured enough to handle explosive, sensitive words in lighter ways so as not to dent the good run of friendships? It is true that friends can make or break you but in this virtual world, it is an exception as we don't see friends in their physical form but only the keyboard and the screen that connect us to the unknown and do not really know the writer's mood at the time of writing. So we should not put to heart what we read as it will not only reward us with maniacal fit but would also burn the bridge of friendship that have long been established.
Having said that, do you place high priority on maintaining your friendships, are you the one who reaches out and encourages and always gives the benefit of the doubt when misunderstandings threaten the friendship?
7 people like this
19 responses
@Marigiggles (82)
• United States
9 Mar 11
Oh yes zandi,
I like peace and try to be really nice to my friends with the hope I get the same in return. I seem to be the one always to reach out and encourage my friends from their behavior, most times they do not listen but I am content that I did my best and tried to help.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
9 Mar 11
Dear Zandi,
I know how this statement becomes popular. I want to ask one question, do we are here for hurting each other. Do we can offend other members for starting discussions on their interest? In my knowledge we can start any topic, except that topics come under the violations. Mylot is a place for discussing problems and it really helps many people to understand the real problem whether it is in paypal or on some other subjects.
If I felt irrelevant on any topic I simply skip that topic. If I annoyed with one topic does not mean that I should jump into there or start another topic to hurt those people badly. I really wish people should keep their clam and do not call bad words on others. Hurting a person is so easy but helping a person to recover from hurt is not so easy. Words are mightier than a sword. I hope people will understand it and restore the peace at the earliest.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Mar 11
I agree with you that mylot is specifically for civilised intelligent discussions but the recent furor that we witnessed here was an isolated case that should not have happened. It has detoured from the original concept of Mylot. Although our friend may have good intentions, but swear words need to steer clear from being used here as it only infuriate many who are against the use of discriminatory words.
1 person likes this
@zweeb82 (5653)
• Malaysia
10 Mar 11
The real test is when the rubber hits the road eh? Haha!~
Can't really believe much or for some even anything on the "virtual" world. A lot of people become schizophrenics when it comes to the world of internet in social sites
Well, a friend in need is a friend indeed ( also in deed - for action speaks louder than words ), a true friend will stick closer than a brother but such friends are rare breed. So far I've never had any "threatened friendship" situations, haha!~But one thing's for sure, if a friend is so sensitive over trivial & minute matters, such friend is not even worth to be called a friend at all...
Can't really believe much or for some even anything on the "virtual" world. A lot of people become schizophrenics when it comes to the world of internet in social sitesWell, a friend in need is a friend indeed ( also in deed - for action speaks louder than words ), a true friend will stick closer than a brother but such friends are rare breed. So far I've never had any "threatened friendship" situations, haha!~But one thing's for sure, if a friend is so sensitive over trivial & minute matters, such friend is not even worth to be called a friend at all...
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
9 Mar 11
If i'm in the wrong i always try to mend broken fences. I have no problem w/telling someone i am sorry if something i did is wrong. Some people do not have 'i'm sorry' in their vocabulary.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
9 Mar 11
I agree, Zandi. I'm sorry was not in my mother's vocabulary & she could act soooooo ugly. She would go out & buy u something when she had been ugly but would never say she was sorry & she sure needed to alot of times.
2 people like this
@santos_mlirs (271)
• Philippines
10 Mar 11
If you did something wrong it's really good to say sorry as long as it's sincere and you really meant it. Some people though keep on saying sorry but just keep on repeating doing the wrong things the same way. Well, that's really frustrating and irritating.
2 people like this
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
10 Mar 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
Well, You are talking about Internet friends, whetreas I have bitter experience in my virtual life where whom we thought as the best decieved us and broke away after 55 yrs of understanding, a s some mios-understanding took place. Herte too I am always careful not to hurt anyone's centiments. Unfortunately a real friend never says anything in favour. A real one will always guide correctly without any selfish moto. One should try and undertrstand tyo keep friendship alive. Thanks.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
13 Mar 11
Hello my friend zandi458 Ji,
First of all let me find some words to lift you to new heighty as you ahve crossed 10000 matrks. Congretulations. You atre very right, let's not create any embarssing situation among friends , at one can control one's vocabulaory. Thanks.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
9 Mar 11
Hi zands,
We start out as strangers, become friends or known to each other, take part in discussion that touches more or less all people and one day had misunderstanding and the grown up friendship gets rusted.
I agree with you that as far as possible we should take things in a lighter vein. But many pundits many many minds. Playing the role of mediator did not pay. What shall we do now?
Our psychology is strong and therefore it firewalls what we could as civilized and educated people could do.
@krajibg (11923)
• Guwahati, India
10 Mar 11
Yes the 'ceasefire' did not work but there are many such things that have been overlooked
@GardenGerty (157722)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I try to be the conciliatory person
, but on occasion something gets the better of me and I do things I might normally would have skipped.
, but on occasion something gets the better of me and I do things I might normally would have skipped. 1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
9 Mar 11
I was ZANDI but not any longer[this is for the last part of reaching out and giving the benefit of doubt.]However, in friendships the risk of losing a relationship is lesser compared to blood relations because in the normal course of action expectations are limited here.[if you see what I mean]. Friendship is easier be cause we choose our friends, are aware of our limitations and do not expect too much[only when expectations get high strain starts].It is very painful to lose a friend on account of some misunderstanding and a level of distance is always better.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Hi Zandi,
I'm pretty understanding to how we can easily misunderstand each other. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between sarcasm and anger. Sometimes it is way too easy to get on here after a bad day and have our anger and frustration show in our words. Then there is the language barrior so it is really easy to misunderstand each other. As with any friendship, I think it is important to keep an open mind and be willing to accept an apology when it is offered and maybe just bite our need to be right and offer up an apology for the sake of the friendship even if we feel we are right. Sometimes the friendship has to mean more than being right. If it doesn't then we deserve to lose the friendship.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
10 Mar 11
We are no angel, losing one's temper shows that we are very normal humans. Even on a sunny day, the sky can suddenly turn cloudy. Provocative words can raise one's temperature. It is important that we respect the global community by presenting a united good face through morally approved words. 
@dreamnishu (1247)
• China
10 Mar 11
hello friend!
i know that you are feeling now.yes i face this situation.i feel so bad when i was in this condition.i love my friends so much if they do something wrong with me that time i feel i am in hell.i do not want this situation in my life again.
thanks a lot.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
10 Mar 11
I have been well known with all my peers to be the peacemaker. I do try to always remember that when I need that they too remember me as well. I do place high priority when it comes to a real good friend simply because that is what friendship to me means.
Although sometimes I do not get reciprocated, I do tend to like to kill people with kindness. This has always worked well with me because it does make friends and others remember my goodness and re-think how they treated me.
1 person likes this
@devinim (79)
• India
9 Mar 11
in my friendship, both of us understand each other very well. ofcourse there arise some problems, but we both manage to solve it in smooth manners. our misunderstandings doesn't live for long, because we like each other. she is the best ever friend i can get.
1 person likes this
@jaymze2010 (34)
• Canada
9 Mar 11
I do think its important to maintain friendships. I myself have had to weed out the bad and keep the good. I must say though that I have about 5 friends I've known for almost 15 yrs. Sometimes its difficult to end something that long, but sometimes it needs to be done. If someone hurts you, cut them out.
thanks
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Mar 11
lost my response drat. I do value all of your wonderful friendships with me so try my best to keep all my friendships intact. I let myself get invoved in this past tempest in a teapot. I felt it tough going trying to encourage both my friends as they were in a war with eacho other. So I
'feel now its bes to step aside and stay out of it when my friends get upset with each other.I really value all my wonderful friendships here
and try not to hurt anyone but learned to stay out of the small war we
just had.I am glad peace seems to be restored now. that was What I always
loved about mylot and hope we stay peaceful now.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Mar 11
yes i do. i pm or email friends when i think ive went over the line or even if they are hurt by others i want to comfort them if i find out about it. unfortunately, ive got 2 friends missing now but their page is still here, so, ive pm'd them but guess they dont get notified
i just dont know. i mean ones been missing for 2or 3 months now and one just recently, as you probably know who. no answer on pm's. 
i feel close to a lot of my online friends even though ive never met them. and ones in the real world, i do everything i can to hold on to. even when they hurt my feelings. guess im a big sap. 
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
Yes, giving this benefits of the doubts often saves any relationship. We must always give both party chance to explain and give their sides of the story. If we will be too reckless, sometimes it's hard to undone the wrong deed. In friendship, taking time and keep silent for a while always save it!
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Mar 11
Well it depends really as to who really initiated the misunderstanding and who may be right. But then, i guess each person in a misunderstanding , would initially think that he is in the right, so he wouldn't be the first one to initiate the repair of the friendship.
But honestly, i am a tender hearted person and i want friends to always be understanding towards each other always, so i make it a point that when a misunderstanding is just beginning, i try to nip it at once by clarifying things.
