Is just right to have only only child?

India
March 9, 2011 4:17am CST
Nowadays most couples are content with just one kid citing various reasons like cost of education and cost of growing up kids. its right to some extent to give best of everything to one kids. But in this case aren't we depriving our kids of their siblings. We as parents are not going to stay as long as our kids live. Shouldn't they have sibling to play with, to grow-up with. Having just one kid we are killing relations like brother, sister, aunt, uncle and many more. I know it is tough to grow two or more kids, but money and career is not everything. It is the relations which count. What are your opinions about the this.
6 people like this
32 responses
• United States
9 Mar 11
I work, go to school and I have one baby. I am some day wanting to have one more. I cannot see my baby with a sister or brother because I feel I will not be here for ever and this will leave my daughter by herself in life. Sometimes people make decisions to hold off because it is very expensive to care for children, but I am working towards a better future to make sure I do the best for my daughter and hopefully someday, one more.
1 person likes this
• India
10 Mar 11
I also work and have two kids. but believe in having two kids does not increase your responsibilities that much. they can play together and study together, but when it is just one kid, he/she will always need you for all activities.
@jameygc (452)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Well, I have one son, he is three years old now. We want to have another baby but theres so much things to think about. Is not the money, is not the career. Rise a kid these days is a big responsability. I see my son playing alone and makes me so sad!But, every day are more and more danger for them out there, is very hard to rise a kid trying to keep them safe. I also see so many parents having so many children and don't take a good care of them. I have two sisters and I really want to have another baby because I want to give my son the opportunity to share and enjoy his life as I did, plus as you say, If something happen to us I want they can count on each other. But I don't blame those parents who decide to have just one kid because there are a million reasons and different circunstances to analyze before make the huge decision to bring another life to this world.
• India
10 Mar 11
I am sorry if you have taken point wrong. I did not mean to blame parents who decide to have just one kid. There are many reasons behind the decision. Good wishes to you and your family. Thanks for sharing your views. Take care.
@jameygc (452)
• United States
10 Mar 11
Oh no! Im sorry, I just said that because in my culture specially old people point those parents or keep asking why? Congrats, very good theme!
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
9 Mar 11
yes.i wish i could have a daughter,but i cann't.we have the only child policy in our country.my son have no siblings.he feels lonely.
• India
9 Mar 11
I am so sorry for the policy. You be the best friend to your little one.
1 person likes this
@zhouxi (1756)
• China
14 Mar 11
yes,people in china's countryside could have two children. if their first child is a girl ,they could have another child.if the husband and wife is the only child of their parents,this couple could have two children.
@Ritchelle (3795)
• Philippines
14 Mar 11
i think that as long as one knows what he or she is doing then it is better than going with the flow and what others are saying without really having a full knowledge of what he or she can do. my husband and i chose to have only a child. yes, he does seem easily bored when he has no school and enjoys nothing more than playing wii with his uncles but based from my experience, we are five children in the family, i realized that loneliness has a way of creeping up on you when you are physically alone - like in the middle of the night. though we have friends and family members who can share the pain it is still us who would bear it. there are many regrets i had being the eldest and feeling that my potential wasn't at all that nourished because my mother has to divide her attention five times. not that i can't do anything about that now. i think that as long as a strong foundation with other family members is set there is no need to add one more kid to a family unless one's means of income grows. it's plain simple math. peace.
• India
14 Mar 11
Liked your view. Even we were four siblings, I know you miss the parents love with so many kids around. As echoes by everyone here, no doubt money is a big factor along with parents time for their kids. Thanks for sharing your views.
@ifa225 (11092)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 11
first ask your self are you able to raise more than one kid? i know that not only career and money in this world, but we need to plan the money to raise the kids. we want them to live in comfort and have a great study. and we can't deny that money has the big role for that
• India
14 Mar 11
yes sure we should be able to raise kids financially. But, when we have resources, we should give them the pleasure of relations. Thanks for your comments.
@Hunter24 (90)
• United States
13 Mar 11
I was accompanied by multiple siblings when growing up. I think that having more than one child is a good thing. Some may disagree if they have grown up with many siblings, but I feel that it is good to have more than one child. I have spoken with many only children and they have all said that they wanted a sibling growing up. It gives children a sense of teamwork or partnership to learn from and to apply to their lives when they are older. Also, like you said, it gives them a chance to mourn, laugh, and love with somebody if something happens to the parent.
• India
14 Mar 11
Yes, it is very much a personal perception. I feel that my kids should know the relations and grow with the sibling relations instead of just reading in books that there used to be "Sister" a "Brother", aunt and uncle. I don't want to kill this kind of relations. Although I am not that rich, but still GOD have blessed us enough. Thanks for your view.
@kh_rabbe (196)
• Bangladesh
13 Mar 11
I dont know anything about it . Dont have any children yet as i'm not married yet . But i have a dream of having 2 children. 1 boy and 1 girl. No problem if any deference in girl or boy. I want 2 babies.
• India
14 Mar 11
Best wishes.
@p1kef1sh (45696)
10 Mar 11
We have one child and four that didn't survive to birth. But I don't think that the number that you have matters if they are loved and taught respect, if people wait until they can afford children then they never will have them! LOL
@alottodo (3061)
• Australia
10 Mar 11
You are right there! I could not afford to have mine...and I had 4! end up divorced but you know what? it gave me the up and go to do the best I could for them! and today I can say I Am proud of them 3 went to university and 1 decided to work in community service...with young criminals...they all have a career... and most important they are happy human beings!
@sweet_pea (3323)
• Philippines
10 Mar 11
I have one child right now. And I have been wanting more to have one or two. He is 4 years old now. And I might say, he is quite self-centered at this point. Another baby in the family would think make him more giving. I really want my son to have another sibling. I feel that if we would be gone in this world. It is nice to know that they have each other to look after one another. Besides, I really look forward to a rowdy house. Makes the place more happier with children's laughters.
• India
10 Mar 11
good luck to you. from my experience I can say that, its best feeling to see kids play together. cousins and friends can not give this kind of company, because cousins are far away and friends don't stay at home. Good wishes to you. Take care.
• United States
10 Mar 11
Welcome to myLot shaini I have two children, a girl and a boy. I am so glad I did because they have each other. I planned them at the right age in between themselves and feel as they got older that they are for one another. This was my intent to make sure that they were really close so that one day they can look out for one another. I think if I only had one of them, they would somehow feel like they were missing something because I have been a really busy person and they look out for one another.
• India
10 Mar 11
same here with me. its such a fun to see them play together. we as parents can never give that kind of company to kids. thank for your comment. there are my friends who earn good enough say that one is enough. I feel that we have the responsibility for next generation and we should make sure that they have relations in addition to all those material thing we plan for our kids. Have a nice time.
@Galena (9120)
9 Mar 11
it's a bit extreme to accuse parents of a single child of killing certain relatives. when you are an only child, you have a lot more attention, and more money can be spent on you. that sounds really shallow, but I have a really deep bond with my mum because she gave me her full time and love, and was always there to support me in any way she could. sometimes I wished I had a brother or sister to play with, but I'd never have swapped that for the undivided love and attention from my lovely mum.
• India
10 Mar 11
Hi Ganela, I understand you point of view. I know, as kids grow up a bit eg 4+ year, they don't want to share parents with someone else. They don't understand the meaning of have a brother or sister. Feel good about your both with your mother. You know there is one more point to this aspect. Earlier parenting age was low, 20-25 and life was long because of good eating habits. Now all that has changed, marriage age is around 30 and eating habits have changed for bad. Good wishes to you and your mom.
@jaiho2009 (38995)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
I do not blame couples who only want to have one kid. It is their right and i agree with their reasons. There are couples who has few kids and can not provide better education,not even healthy foods. So,it is better to have one kid and was given all the necessities in life rather than having few kids but are not well nourished. I respect each others opinion,this is my opinion as well. Have a great day Welcome to mylot
• India
10 Mar 11
yes rightly said. I too respect yours and all other parerts point of view. Sometimes it just happens that parents don't think about all those things like giving company to kid. They have just career and affordability in mind. One of my friend was also of one child view. I shared my view with her, which made her change her mind and now they have another kid. Thanks for sharing your view.
@sunny5u (2071)
• India
9 Mar 11
Hi shalini, in my view its good to give birth to at least two kids, though it is tough to grow up them , but still if anything happens to one kid or if kid moves to foreign country even then we will be left with the other, and if only one kid then he/she will get bored, and they don't get habituated to few habits like sharing and moving up with friends and all.
• India
10 Mar 11
you are right. we have been blessed with relations and we cherish them so much. why should we not let your kids enjoy those kind of moments. as far as expenses go, for sure we have to plan our budget and see if e can give rigt kind of education and all facilities to our kids.
@sizzle3000 (3038)
• United States
9 Mar 11
You're right to a point. Yes a child should have the privalege of having relations. On the other hand if you can't afford another kid then you shouldn't have another. Then you're depriving that one of what you're first child had or has. Plus many mothers may not like the giving birth part. Labour and contractions are a hard thing to go through. Not to mention many women anymore are very vain and don't like that they gain weight and it doesn't come right off. And then there are the women that can't have more than one child. That would be me. I had two miscarriages before I had my daughter. Then she tried to kill me and they said I couldn't have another child without endangering my health.
• India
10 Mar 11
I am sorry for all that happened. I understand the complications. There are lots of factor like affordability to grow up kids, parents wish and medical complications. Best wishes for your family.
@SimpleBB (1330)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
I don't think so. A kid himself needs someone of his age to bond with. People could just say that for maybe because of scarcity we have experiencing. And no parents want to see his child suffering and they could do nothing out of it. But if can afford and besides, I still believe that if it meant to be, it will be. Come to think of it..there are some couples who wants and capable to raise a family, but they were not that lucky to have children, while there are some couple as well that despite of taking much and very dedicated in following instructions to control having a baby, still they could not avoid but to accept the coming of the baby, the worst is the baby suffers from some abnormalities brought about by the effects of what they have done or taken just to avoid the baby. So I think, children are gifts. But we also have to be concern with their future. The best thing to do is perhaps, one is not ideal for the child will soon feel the loneliness of having someone of his age. So two is the least ideal for me, if ever I can afford it.
• India
10 Mar 11
Rightly said. Affordability is a factor. But I think most of the population can afford atleast two. People can curb the spending, go less to malls etc. Sibling would a best gift we give to our kid.
@ebuscat (5945)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
For me only one child it is better for today's life.
• India
10 Mar 11
I understand. Enjoy your life.
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
I agree with you, parents must consider cost of education and all expenses associated with raising children. I think it is just practical for a couple to have one kid, but they can have as many as they can as long as they have time to spend with their kids, see them grow with proper orientation in life, and they should also be able to answer all their expenses. Time for the kids is very important i guess, because you can send your child in school but it does not have proper guidance, it's lacking.
• India
10 Mar 11
I agrees for expenses. But as far as time is concerned, I think two kids will have better time together and you are free to do other activities. Thanks for your comment.
@SIMPLYD (91044)
• Philippines
9 Mar 11
This i would speak thru my experience, having only one child, a daughter. I guess, during the first four years after i have given birth to our daughter, we planned not to have another one for the time being. But after that, we planned to have another child, unfortunately though we keep on waiting for it but none came until my Total Abdominal Histerectomy which removed my ovaries and uterus. Now, i am regretting i have only one child. I should have after 2 years bear a child again.
• India
9 Mar 11
I am so sorry for what has happened. Best wishes for your kid and your family.
@small_7 (30)
• China
9 Mar 11
Hehe.i have a very very happy family.guess what ,my parents have 3 kids and i am the oldest one.And the most importantly,i am a chineses.According to the one-child policy,you can guess how much my parents r fined.But my parents never regret,they love kids,and i am very thankful fof my parents cause they give me a sister and brother as a most beautiful gift.For me i want to have 2 babise,thus they won't be lonely.
• India
9 Mar 11
yeah parents are great. but its too bad as far as one child policy from Government, It should have been at least two.
@aeiou78 (3455)
• Malaysia
11 Mar 11
Although having more children will cost more burden to a family, I strongly disagree to have only one child. I do have two sons and one daughter. In my point of view, one child in a family will be easily pampered and spoiled. Moreover, if there is something bad happened to the only child, the family will lost everything in their hope.