How do you deal with your friend request not being accepted?

@cream97 (29087)
United States
March 30, 2011 10:45am CST
I am having a very hard time trying to get over people not accepting my friend request on Facebook. I don't understand why they won't accept my friend request, but yet they are friends with my friends. I am trying not to let this bother me. My son's bus driver is on Facebook. Me and her attended high school together. We also graduated during the same year as well. I was going to send her a message, but I can't even find her in the search box on Facebook anymore. I have sent her a friend request last Sunday. Why are people ignoring me on Facebook?
13 people like this
49 responses
@dznurani (160)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 11
I never send friend request to anyone on facebook. I just asking for friend request on mylot and thank God got approved :) if your request haven't approved yet and can't send him message then just forget it. just enjoy facebook with your friends and don't think about that pending request
@orang13 (723)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
Good thing you posted this, i am suppose to post something related to this! As of this very moment, i am very very sad because one of the person I really wanted to be friends with in Facebook did not accept my request. I asked my other friend to add him up, and he was accepted. So I asked again that friend that he suggest me to him, and i added him instead. It turned out that he did not accept me, and i know that he is online as what my friend told me. I am totally sad. But i guess.. We shouldn't be. However, we better look at those people who accepted us. Those who didn't, we better say to them, ITS THEIR LOST NOT OURS!
3 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 11
it usually becomes a "whatever" for me. tho sometimes,people don't answer those requests for even months down the road. either busy or sloth,one or the other..so it's not always a straight out rejection. i know sometimes myself i take a while to approve.
3 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I would try not to worry about it. She may have a good reason not to accept, it could be that she tries to keep her life as private as possible. I know it's easier said then done when it comes to not worrying about it but if she doesn't want to be your friend it's probably a good thing. If you want to, you could always ask her when she picks your son up for school or when she drops him off from.
3 people like this
@hmkoct5 (2065)
• United States
31 Mar 11
I think sometimes people don't quite know how to use Facebook. They might not see your friend request. I have had a couple people ignore my request to be friends. I was confused too, because I thought we were pretty good friends in high school. I just try not to let it bother me. Maybe they don't remember me or don't care what is going on in my life. If that is the case, then I don't want to be friends with them anyway.
2 people like this
@aghiuta (525)
• Canada
31 Mar 11
I know that it could be hurtful, and frustrating if you let it,so my advice is to think this way: if they ignore your request,they do not deserve your friendship,and they are not worth even a thought on your part.They are the ones that loose.Not you. There are plenty of other people that appreciate your friendship,I am sure.
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
31 Mar 11
Hi cream! If you send me a friend's request on Facebook, I promise that I will immediately accept it.. I think many do not log in to Facebook regularly and do not take notice that some of the requests are pending for acceptance. I think there is no system on Facebook, like mylot, which shows that 'requests' are pending. However, aftrer sending a request, you can send the person a message that you want him/her to be your friend. I understand that there is a system on Facebook, wherein you can send a personal message to a person, even if your friend request is pending with him/her. I did once or twice like it. Please do not feel dishearted if anyone does not accept your request, they are not worth your friendship.
2 people like this
@pdoyle (7)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I don't really worry about it. I started playing some games on Facebook and that's how I've made some new friends. Most of the time I don't ask people to be my friend. I figure if they want to talk to me they will friend me.
2 people like this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Mar 11
I only don't accept them when I don't know the person and we don't have any friends in common, or, in one case, where the guy was just a jerk. He had been my aunt's boyfriend, and very abusive. No idea why she wouldn't accept your request unless she only has people on her friends list that she's really close with or something.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 11
Personally I don't add anyone just because they're friends of my friends or went to the same school/are going to the same school as me. They have to actually be someone that I consider a friend or at least a close acquaintance. Maybe the people you're sending friend requests to feel the same way. In any case I don't see why it's horribly important for these people to accept your friend requests. Don't let it bother you.
2 people like this
• United States
31 Mar 11
I quit Facebook last summer, and back when I had it, I don't remember anyone ignoring my request. I did get quite a few requests that I ignored, though. I had one girl who went to both middle and high school with me send me a friend request. Throughout the years we went to school together, I was massively bullied and threatened by other kids before writing a hit list and then trying to take my own life...and was that girl there? Did she ever say a word? Nope. Even after I was expelled and home schooled, I went to high school with the same people and even sat next to this girl in one of my classes. She never paid me any attention, nor did she ever express concern over anything that had happened with me in the past few years. Why would I accept her friend request? She had blindly gone through life when the kids around her were attacking a shy girl like vultures, without a care in the world. Now she wanted to add me to her friend count? No thanks! I'm not saying that people ignore friend requests only when they believe you contributed to a problem. No...I had a few friend requests from people I barely knew in school. If I'd accept them, then what? I'd never talk to them, and yet they'd be able to read my everyday triumphs and tribulations. As it was by the time I'd left, one of the family friends I had accepted (and had an acquaintance amount of trust for) actually attacked me when I posted that I wasn't able to function for awhile because the dog I'd grown up with passed away. This family friend was a person I wouldn't have accepted as a friend except for the fact that my ignoring him would have been questioned by the immediate family that were mutual friends with both of us. This is the reason people don't accept friend requests from those who they truly don't want to know their daily lives...as much as you may love stopping and saying hi to someone you know from your past or through someone, inviting them into your everyday life can be risky, as I found out. Luckily, I simply quit Facebook and gained back my life and respect for my own personal privacy.
2 people like this
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
31 Mar 11
I probably know the reason you were not accepted for your friend request. I were having the same experience as you. I needed to add and to achieve certain number of friends to accomplish my tasks in Microworkers. ha! ha! ha! I tried to transfer all of my added friends in my skype account to my facebook. A man from my country queried me if he recognized me or not and the reason I sent him a request? Then he reported me spamming in facebook. After thinking a bit further, I realized my problem. Later, I tick for not disclosing my birth date and age in facebook. Wah! most of my invitation were accepted.
2 people like this
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
30 Mar 11
I only send requests to people on facebook if I know them. Everyone has pretty much accepted my friend request but there's this girl who hasn't. We were in the same school but different sections, still friends. It has been 6 months I guess and she hasn't accepted my request. Ok she may not have recognized me coz I have a different name on facebook, my second name which maybe she isn't aware of. But the least she could do is reject me it driving me crazy seeing all her notifications on my new feed. I don't know what she's upto I wish she'd just delete my request
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Hi. thatgirl13. You don't have to wait on her to delete your friend request. You can cancel it yourself. Just go to her profile page and on the left hand side you will see "Cancel Friend Request". Just cancel it yourself.
• South Korea
30 Mar 11
Haha I just did it. Strange I never noticed that Thanks
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Hi. thatgirl13. You are welcome. I am sorry that she has left you pending for such a long time. That really is very rude of her.
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
31 Mar 11
There is always a possibility that friends of your friends won't accept your friend's request and the reasons for this can be various. Maybe these people don't know you that well no matter you have common friends. Or maybe they know you too well and there are some things about you they don't like, I don't know. Another possibility is that they just don't log in that often. I, for example, log in once in a couple of months and I see request pending that are so old... Don't jump to conclusions immediately and don't let that spoil your day. Bottom line, Facebook is not a criteria who your real friends are.
@KrauseHome (36449)
• United States
3 Apr 11
Personally due to playing some of the Games that I play there, or have played in there, I have gotten Friend requests from many people, and believe it or not, a lot of them I do not know, and not sure how they ever find me. And personally a lot of times especially if they have no information and do not tell me how they found me, etc. I will not accept them. For me I guess it is if they remember you or not?
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Apr 11
When I first got involved with Facebook in 2008, I requested anyone I went to school with, at that time there weren't as many people there and nearly everyone I requested accepted my friendship. There were a few people that never accepted me, and after my initial snit fit (not really), I moved on with the attitude: if they won't accept my friend request, it's THEIR loss. And the truth is that it IS their fault, not mine. Just move on and focus on the people who DO want to be your friend.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
3 Apr 11
I think these people have been spammed with friend requests trying to get them to join them in some game so then they stop accepting any friend request. I used to be on both sides of that game. Now I almost never even go into facebook and when I do, I don't accept friend requests unless I actually know them. If their name has changed, I might not accept them because I don't know them so if they don't include some kind of message of where they know me from, I just reject now. Could that be why? Have a great day!!!
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
4 Apr 11
I hope you don't get too worked up about people not accepting your friend requests on facebook. Whatever their reasons are, I'm sure it is twisted with their own perception of you. And if they have that twisted thinking, then they are not worth being friends on FB, or any other social networking site anyway. Just say... whatever!
1 person likes this
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
2 Apr 11
Hi Cream97!. Yeah I have a friend who doesn't except my friend request and I don't know what I did her wrong. We are friend in high school and quite close. At first its hurt my heart but now why do I care if someone not accept it and I can life without it, like always. Honestly I also rejected few friend request because I don't have clue who they are and I usually just pm them before rejected. I usually ask if we ever meet before and pretend I forgot and how people face can change a lot.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Apr 11
It happens when you go to request people that you don't directly know sometimes. I recently did a large overhaul of all people I had as friends and went from somewhere along the lines of 400 to 50. I used to only add people who requested me but I'm not requesting people that have a few mutual friends because I would like to make more friends that I don't already know personally. Being a young male might make this a lot different for me as apposed to you though. There have been people who have not accepted my friend request just because they do not know me so i can't really blame them but as for you I would include a personal message with the friend request letting them know who you are and why you are requesting them. Hope that helps. ~Dan's 2 cents
1 person likes this