Grandma often calls, should i tell her to call back?

@stormlyt (188)
Philippines
April 7, 2011 11:17am CST
Now that Grandma is older. She calls me a lot. She just like to talk and talk. She often tells me about her illness over and over again. She talks about poor eyesight, heart burns, headaches, lack of sleep. I really want to make her feel loved and listened to but I couldnt do it most of the time. Especially about all those sickness, makes me feel unhappy about my day. One time i told her I was busy but she firmly asked what time should i be available then we start with the same conversation over and over again. What should i do?
4 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
You should spend some time talking to her about that. She's old so she might be looking for someone she's comfortable with to talk to and it's obvious that you're that someone. She's a family so you should at least give her some time, she might be gone sooner or later, you should remember that.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
11 Apr 11
I know. Ill be sad when she's gone. I might as well make the most out our time together.
@sweety_81 (2124)
• India
8 Apr 11
Hi friend this stage of life is very bad and it will gets worsen if aged people are alone.Actually what happens, now in cities we have nuclear families and there is no one who could listens to them because we youngsters do not have time to devote a good time with them and it is true also as we have so much to do.I have father-in-law and my mother-in-law had expired three years back and my father-in-law is retired also.So he feels as if I should spend time with him like listening to his talks but I do not have time as I have so much work to do also I do not find his talks interesting at all as he is very dominating and want's that things should go like the way he wants .Also he interferes a lot.Now what happenes he feels as if he is neglected and stsrts thinking bad about me.So all this happens with the elder people but the solution for this problem is bit complex because if we discuss it with them they won't apereciate it.So friend try to talk to her politely that wheneveryou gets free thenyoue will call her 'sometimes give her a visit at her home.Ask about her health.I think this is all what you can do .Its a very personal matter I ts up to you.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
11 Apr 11
Thanks. I think you are right. Ill just be polite so I can get on with my tasks and call her back when I can and keep my promise. I want to visit her maybe next month. Ill stay for a couple of days. Im sure that will make her happy.
@KrauseHome (36449)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Personally it often happens as people get older, because they are bored and lonely, and usually have no one to talk too and find time to be with. And a lot of times they tend to forget about the things they have shared so they just feel it a need to let you know everything. Maybe you need to find some time for someone to take her out somewhere and be around people, maybe more people her own age so she will not feel the need to need to call you all the time. I can understand you do not want to be rude, but somehow it needs to be displayed that you need time for yourself and your own life issues as well.
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
7 Apr 11
Hello stormly and welcome to myLot. I can tell that you love your grandma. Some time when people get old all they have to talk about is sickness, poor health, poor eye sight, and so on. What you might do is try to get her to talk about her younger days. Before she gets st5arted on her illnesses ask her how she met your grandfather for starters. If that doesn't work ask her about your mother as a child. Keep asking her these type questions and don't give her time to talk about her illnesses.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
9 Apr 11
I do love her. Ill divert the topic to happier once. I really dont like to talk about illness. It makes me sick too. But I never did make her feel unwanted. I always try to be patient and listen.
• South Africa
7 Apr 11
The worlds of older people get smaller and smaller as their abilities fail and so much of their remaining energy is taken up struggling with their health. My grandfather, when he was still alive, could go on for hours about his medication - which pills made his feet swell, etc. It can be very depressing and make you feel guilty about your own good health. But there is another subject older people usually love to talk about - the past. Listen to her stories of what she has experienced, and ask questions about how things used to be... it will maybe cheer her up to remember what it was like to be young and healthy herself, and one day when she is no longer around, you (and your children!!) will appreciate knowing as much as possible about your heritage and your connection to the past... Listen, you have my sympathy... it is not easy, being confronted daily with the failing health of a loved one, even if remotely.
@stormlyt (188)
• Philippines
9 Apr 11
Thats what she exactly does. I thought its just her that does that. Now I understand that she feels lonely and needs more love and attention. Ill just divert the conversation to her past memories. Maybe that will make her forget about her pain and medications. She does complain about her medications. I want her to be just happy.
@neenie (343)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Aw, I love talking to my gramma on the phone. She recently moved away so I normally talk to her 3 or 4 times a week on the phone. She normally doesn't call me though because she knows how busy I am.. she just waits for me to call her. Maybe you could try something like that.. tell her you are sometimes busy and you will call her when you have time. But then I would make time for her. You never know how long she will be around and you're going to hate yourself if you don't talk to her while you can.
@r0ck_r0ck (1952)
• India
8 Apr 11
Get your grandma to your place. Be with her spend some times with her, take some time out of your busy life and look after her. Wouldn't you want the same when you get old?
@sunny5u (2069)
• India
8 Apr 11
Hi stormlyt, please don't do that, yeah its a problem for us when we always get to listen something negative and odd, then you just try telling her that either to forget about her illness , and thinking such always makes her more sick or tell her about your life and all, but old ones feel happy when you spend time for them, so doesn't lose that.
@dreamy1 (3811)
• United States
8 Apr 11
Change the subject. Ask her about the things she did when she was younger. Ask her about things you did when you were a kid, when your parents were kids. Ask her about family history. Ask her to give you her favorite recipes. Ask her about the friend she has. Does she live alone? Ask her about what she did that day.
@Porcospino (31367)
• Denmark
8 Apr 11
I miss the days when my grandmother called me all the time. She is still alive, but she is suffering from dementia and the days where she could remember a phone number or remember our conversation are gone forever. That is sad to think about and I actually think that you are lucky that you are still able to talk to your grandmother on the phone. I understand that it makes you unhappy to hear about illness and problems all the time, but I think that you should take your time to listen anyway. I think it is important to her to share her worries with someone.
• Philippines
8 Apr 11
i think thats how people change as we get older. most often, we like to talk even the story is told a hundred times before. sometimes i encounter older people in public who talks to other even they dont know whom they talking to, as if they know each other or he/she knew whom she/he is talking to. but since i will get older too, so i entertain them (so that when i get older and do the same thing [who knows?]), someone will talk to me to or entertain me also. older people are really like that, maybe you just be patient and enjoy every conversation with your grandma =D