This guy keeps saying"darling","honey","I love you"but we met online!!
By Yasmin
@jasmeena (846)
Indonesia
May 10, 2011 2:20am CST
I have been single for 2 years and I am too old maybe as woman (34)even though people keep saying I look younger than my age. I tried several dating sites, but i don`t know why maybe I expect too much..then, then I met a man, who is widowed (his wife passed away on car crash, he has 6 year-old daughter,living in UK). His words are too sweet..we keep communicating by mail, but he often uses so-sweet words too much, like"Hi Dear", or "Love you"..he is serious with me. The fact?He is now in KL ( I am Indonesian, living in Jakarta)and he really calls me n sends me message saying"Hi darling how r you?"or"Take care.I love you", "I wanna travel with you".. How come?I appreciate his intention to be serious with me, but saying those words to the woman he never meets?The questions:
a. How can I know that he is really a nice person?I don`t really like a man who keeps saying those romantic words, it sounds too nonsense
b. How can I know he is truthful?I have bad experience with online dating when I was dating my ex neighbor. He cheated on me. He was a drug addict, a divorced ( while he said he was single). I don`t want it to happen again.
Of course, I want to get married but I don`t want to get married because of my age or social pressure. Please give me advice.thank you
2 people like this
14 responses
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
10 May 11
Hi jasmeena: I agree with you on the fact that you have to be careful after these situations. In my opinion, I think you have to be honest with this guy and tell him that you don't feel comfortable being called darling or when he say these very romantic things because you need to know each other better before giving that step. Take all your time and make him know that you need to know him really good to be sure about the future of your relationship.
ALVARO
1 person likes this
@orang13 (723)
• Philippines
10 May 11
I guess you should not trust that much. There are a lot of fool people who only wanna do stuffs to hurt anyone, stuffs full of lies and trying to fool anyone. So I tell you, online dating is something not worth of a trust. You always remember that it is very easy to steal an identity online.
I guess I suggest you to try only those people who are there near you, people who you have chances of meeting or something really real. It doesn't have to be someone you know but atleast a mutual friend, you have to always have a reference. There are already many cases of this, and you don't want to be the next victim.
1 person likes this
@amyson (3498)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
age does not matter in love and i see many people who get hitched when they think they already too old to be in love. and yet they get to meet their loved in later time when fate decides. some live happy and even bear children even at later stages when other think they could no longer had children. somehow miracles work or just fate decide. online dating is successful to other people i know but it becomes dangerous too as some hide their real identity. you need to be careful and you need to test him if he really serious about you. decide to meet each other no mountain is too far if the person is so in love they would find a way to meet you by hook or by crook.
@chocokreme (319)
• Philippines
11 May 11
I see that you are vulnerable in this. Its not wrong to love or fall in love with a guy in internet. The best way to do is meet him personally since he's in Kl. Next try to have a chaperon if you feel you are not safe. Try to use fb to investigate his background. Good luck to you!
@casualkT (140)
• Canada
11 May 11
a.you can't
b. you can't
you have to still consider the exceptions and don't generalize before observing him
sometimes if you think this [like the sky is blue] - very cliche and you want to think the sky is green it isn't easy but the trick is not to fall for it you cannot tangle that experience with each one , truth be told - all it takes is your ability to transfer those thoughts somewhere else where the brain doesn't cooperate as it does the processing after all - so summary of advice you change your mind you can make anyone seem to be adaptable in compatability.
@Jessycoming (3)
• China
11 May 11
Hi jasmeena,I don't think the guy who says such sweet words to women never met is serious with the relationship. You said you feel his sweet words sound nonssense, that means you didn't feel his sincerity. People in love should feel sweet with sweet words not nonsense. 34 is not old. Don't push yourself to beleive him for your age. See the truth with your eyes. If he is serious with the relationship, then he should be happy to go Jakarta to see you. Good luck!
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
10 May 11
We don't know this guy, you met him online yet you find his words nonsense while he, on other hand, says it easily to you as if you guys have known each other for a long time. I think he mentions that a lot to his chatmates and you're not the only one that he addresses those endearment and sweet words. What if you two meet in person, I hope that he still keeps telling you those words and still calls you darling. The best way to know the guy better is to meet and talk to him in person because it is hard to tell if a person you're talking to online is serious or not.
@shikaymaru (700)
• Malaysia
10 May 11
Reading your story makes me think of the lover scam out there using internet and sweet words to their prey. For me, I don't really believe of online dating. No offense though.
I think you better stay away dear. Just my thoughts. The world is BIG. You will find someone eventually.
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
10 May 11
I don't think that 34 is old. And, I think with the trend now, women are getting married later because of choosing their career first. It is quite scary to meet people you've known online, so if ever you're going to meet him, get to know him first before starting a relationship with him. He might not be the person he's telling you he is. Most people lie a lot about themselves on the internet, so be cautious.
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
10 May 11
Just ask him to meet you in person face to face if he can afford to meet you in your country. I am going through the same problem. My girl friend live far away from me though in India, we used to chat online and Even talk on phone , she said she is in love with me But Since last Saturday she didn't call me up as if I told her that there is no balance in my cellphone.
So I am very upset and confused.So be careful.
have a Nice relationship
@altirbonganay (287)
• Philippines
10 May 11
Hi jasmeena!
I know I don't have the right to judge other's motives, intentions, and sincerity, but in my opinion, love is such a strong word, that it shouldn't be said to someone whom you have never met in person. Maybe, he likes you, but to 'love' you without even seeing you would be impossible. Just be careful with meeting with people whom you just met online.
@jaspal941 (107)
•
10 May 11
miss in love age does not matter and check that he really love you or he is just playing. you can check this by saying that me get married. After you say that if he shocked and he don't leave you then its sure that he really love you . After all tell him that you just joking and say i am single. By this you can check that he loves you or not if he don't talk with you then he not love you !!
@bjing17 (6)
• Philippines
10 May 11
Hello there, I am not really into online dating but it has really worked for some friends. I guess they are just lucky? Well, I suggest you take time to know a person. He may be too sweet for you at first but eventually, he'll show his true colors as time goes by. Just be patient. And if he's starting to say things that bothers you, don't hesitate to leave. As one commenter said, the world is BIG. There may be other good guys out there who are also looking for their perfect match. Good luck! :)
