Anger Management
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
Canada
May 11, 2011 3:22am CST
My youngest daughter has been bit by the love bug lately. For the past few months, she speas of two boys in particular that she likes. One she calls "Cutie-Patootie" and the other by name. We'll call him "Dreamy". "Dreamy" lives nearby. I haven't met him per say but have seen him around. Tall, blonde, cute.
I came home yesterday to find her bawling in the driveway... absolutely destroyed by an obvious tragedy. She got up, hugged me and cried about how unfair anger issues were. (And how much she hated her bio dad for 'giving' this to her). Oh Uh!
Come to find out, she was playing Truth or Dare with a bunch of kids, including "Dreamy" and her new friend 'Hannah'. "Dreamy" dared 'Hannah' to kiss him... and she did! My daughter, clearly upset and hurt, got up and punched "Dreamy" in the gut. POW!
She immediately felt horrible for her actions and tried to apologize but when she realized she winded him, she felt even worse and ran home. Now she cries in my arms, absolutely horrified and devastated of her reaction to her anger and pain.
But I'm proud of my little girl... yes I am. Not because she punched him... but because among all that pain and all those tears, she said to me: "Mom, I need help. I need to learn how to cope with this anger. You help me sometimes but I need more than that."
Help is on the way sweetheart.
2 people like this
7 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
11 May 11
Hi Momma, first of all I want to say it is good to see you again, I wondered where you have been..
As for your daughter, though she has anger issues, (my daughter does too) she is very wise and you should be proud of her and get her the help she needs..My daughter also knew she needed help and is getting it, expect we found out by her confessing she had been cutting..But now it has been years since she has cut and she has a great woman she talks to when she needs to..
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 May 11
Thankfully she isn't cutting now, but I heard it is more emotional addiction that to try to kill oneself. So she still has that urge, but with help and people who care for her, she hasn't cut for a long time,. In face she made a comment about how she is embarrassed by the scars on her legs, (cutting isn't necessarily the wrist, it is easier to hide the legs than the arms)and how she doesn't want to go swimming in a public pool or beach..So she is looking into getting her own pool...:)
1 person likes this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
12 May 11
Oh I'm aware you weren't necessarily referring to the wrists. The most common area are the thighs and hips. Hips are easier to hide too.
1 person likes this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
12 May 11
Oh I'm so sorry to hear she was cutting. That is one of my biggest fears since my daughter use to bite herself a few years ago. It wasn't cutting but it was still self harm and I don't want it escalating!
1 person likes this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
11 May 11
Thank you Thereza. She is a very special person and I too believe she will be a great person - but I am, of course, biased! :D
Thanks for your comment.
@GardenGerty (157494)
• United States
12 May 11
I am impressed that she can identify that she needs help. This is so mature of her. Some people never get there. This also serves notice to the guys that she is not to be trifled with.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
11 May 11
Wow, I am not sure how old this daughter of yours is, but realizing that yourself at any age is incredibly amazing.
I had to have it pointed out to me, and drilled home numerous times over the course of years to realize I had to change my attitude or forever be held back by my actions.
That is awesome.
Cheers.
1 person likes this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
11 May 11
My daughter is 12 and is fully aware of her anxiety issues. She has grown leaps and bounds in the past few months. I was at first shocked they were playing TOD at such a young age... but then, am I really? No...
I am truly blessed to have such wonderful children and they make me very proud.
Thanks for your comment.
@drasnian (548)
•
11 May 11
Oh bless, that's really hard for her! Good for her to admitting she needs help though - so many people wouldn't, they'd just sit in their room and avoid their friends. I have to say though 'Dreamy' sounds like a bit of a jerk though, daring her friend to kiss him, especially if he knew your daughter liked him...and surely he must have at least suspected?
Good luck and I hope it all works out.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157494)
• United States
12 May 11
It probably makes him feel good about your daughter "liking him." I was a bit older when I realized it was okay to "like" someone. It showed I was developing appropriate emotions.
1 person likes this
@MommaOfAllTrades (969)
• Canada
11 May 11
We talked about what to do next,and avoiding friends is not an option. She went back out and apologized some more. Talked it over with 'Hannah' and all is well between them. As for "Dreamy", he knows of my daughter's affections towards him. And he does go out of his way to show his feelings towards 'Hannah'. It's a shame boys must be boys...
Thanks for your comment.
1 person likes this
@EndlessNameless (48)
• United States
11 May 11
You are very right to be proud of her for acknowledging that she has anger issues and asking for help. I do think that that's the biggest part of the battle when dealing with anger. It'll be a rough road ahead, but as long as she has a good support system she will do fine with anger in the future! For now just teach her more positive outlets for anger. She's at an age where things like that will really stick with her too!
@jagjit273 (1754)
• India
11 May 11
First of you are there for her and second thing she will learn that slowly and gradually.Time has all solutions in it
