Divorce and suicide attempt - how can I help my friend?
By Porcospino
@Porcospino (31365)
Denmark
May 22, 2011 3:59pm CST
Today got a text message from a friend that I hadn't heard from for about a year. At first I was very happy to hear from her, because I had been trying to contact her several times and she never answered my calls or my messages.
Then she told me why I hadn't heard from her for so long: She is getting divorced and she has tried to commit suicide. She has been at a psychiatric hospital for a while, but now she is back home. I am shocked. I didn't expect the news about the divorce, because they seemed very happy together, but what really shocked me were the comments about her suicide attempt.
We don't live in the same part of the country, but we are going to stay in touch via the phone, and I will do my best to help her get through this difficult period.
Do you have any advice for me in this situation? What is the best way to help her?
3 people like this
7 responses
@Bellapop (1279)
•
23 May 11
, You seem a very good friend, just try to help as much as you can and as much as you can manage. Remember she will be very depressed and although you can help some of the time you will have to be careful not to get depressed yourself. Having long talks is always good, and if you can try to meet up and do something you both enjoy, have some good days out and hopefully it will help her forget about times keep in mind off the bad things.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
24 May 11
That is a good point. I want to help her as much as I can, but I also have to avoid a situation where I get depressed myself. We just had a long talk and it seems like she is doing a little better, her depression isn't gone, but I am happy to hear that she is feeling a little better. We are going to keep in touch and call eachother often in the future.
@zhpshql (693)
• China
23 May 11
Hi,
well,I don't have this kind of experiences...but I think at this time ,people need friends,ture friends...so pay attention to your friend,with heart,tell her that there have so many beautiful things in the world that deserve our love...
and she is young,and she still has so much time to enjoy the life...try your best to communicate with her,,maybe you two can take a travel...
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
24 May 11
Yes, she is still quite young and I believe that her life still has plenty of the things to offer, but is just hard for her to see it right now, and she focus on the negative things like the things that happened between her and her husband. I try my best to talk to her, listen to her and support her, because I know that it is a very difficult period for her. Travelling with her is actually one of the things that I have thought about, because I know that she enjoys travelling and a trip to another country really helped me when I was going through a very difficult period, so I was thinking that it might help her as well. But she has two small children and she doesn't want to travel with them, so it would be hard for us to travel together.
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
23 May 11
I have never been in that situation and I hope I wouldn't have to do so. However, I know that these types of people are truly having a hard time coping and they need someone to be there, not to pity them, but to at least remind them that there are good things in life as well. Try not to ask if she's ok all the time because obviously she isn't. Perhaps it's great if you remind her or how things were when you were together, the funny moments of your lives, or perhaps a visit with your other friends would certainly help.
I know of someone who had a similar experience. The mother was pregnant that time and when her husband neither called nor attempted to contact them, after several months she went with her baby to look for him in another city, only to find out that he has another family. She didn't know what to do and wasn't able to take it that she became crazy after that. She really just quit fighting for her sanity and till now the woman was insane.
Prayer I guess is the only single gift that we could do for now, but just keep in touch. There are other ways, cheaper ways, you could do yahoo messenger, facebook, skype and other forms of communication to just keep in touch all the time.
Good luck and be patient to you friend's needs.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
23 May 11
It must have been a huge shock for that woman to discover that the man had another family. It is sad to hear that the experience the experience made her ill.
It was very hard for my friend to cope with the situation and her problems, and the pain also made her ill. Fortuneately she is getting help, she has left the hospital, but she still talks to a therapist on a regular basis. I am praying for her and I am definately going to keep in touch with her. We talked on the phone tonight, but you are right, there are cheaper to keep in touch, maybe we can talk on messager or skype as well.
@cream97 (29085)
• United States
22 May 11
Hi. Porcospino. The only thing that you could do is to be there for her. Show her love and support at all times. Pray for her so that God can work a full recovery of renewing of her mind and heart.
It will take some time, but nothing is too hard for God to make happen. I am glad that you are being a great friend to her. She is going to need you there by her side so that she can talk to you. Listen to her and be the best loving friend that you could ever be. I am sure that she will be grateful for all of your kindness that you will give and show to her.
It will take some time, but nothing is too hard for God to make happen. I am glad that you are being a great friend to her. She is going to need you there by her side so that she can talk to you. Listen to her and be the best loving friend that you could ever be. I am sure that she will be grateful for all of your kindness that you will give and show to her.1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
22 May 11
Thank you very much for your response. I am going to pray for her and show her my support in any way that I can. We haven't talked for one year, but in the past we were very close friends, and I hope that I will be able to help her the way that she helped me 6 years ago when I was going through a very hard period. Because of the distanse I can't be there for her physically, but we can talk on the phone and I told her that she can get in touch with me any time if she needs to talk.
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
23 May 11
In this situation it is very necessry to give support to your friend. Well talking about her divorce whatever problem it might be it is your duty to remove her from depression. Try convincing and make her happy in this state of life it is natural that all these evik thoughts of ending own life come. My friend now you hav to make relize the true value of life. Tell her not to think about the divorce issues. Tell her to come to your country and once sheis there do your best to make her happy if this takes you to pay for ger travel do it. It is worth while saving a life then regretting afterwards that we had a chance but couldnt do anything. Always be in touch with her phone if she talks abput sucide make her relize the importance of life.
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
24 May 11
I have invited her to come to my place, and we talked about it, but she has two small children, and she thinks it is too complicated to come here. I work seven days a week right now and unfortuneately I am not able to go to her place either, at least not at the moment, so our only option is long phone conversations and communication on the internet. I have just had a long talk with her. It would have been better to there for her physically, you are right about that, but as it isn't possible I am going to keep in touch with her via the phone, and I have told her that she can call me any time that she wants.
@EstiiBabii (685)
• United States
22 May 11
There's really nothing that can be done, you just have to a friend, loving supporting friend. Don't leave her in a time of need, be the one friend that she can talk to about anything.
1 person likes this
@Porcospino (31365)
• Denmark
22 May 11
Yes, I am going to be there for her and listen to her whenever she needs to talk. I am a little sad that I can't be there for her physically, but she lives in another part of the country and I can't just visit her. Instead I am going to talk to her on the phone very often. You are right, she needs me in this period and I will do whatever I can to support her.
@Princelierocks (817)
• India
23 May 11
In this situation it is very necessry to give support to your friend. Well talking about her divorce whatever problem it might be it is your duty to remove her from depression. Try convincing and make her happy in this state of life it is natural that all these evik thoughts of ending own life come. My friend now you hav to make relize the true value of life. Tell her not to think about the divorce issues. Tell her to come to your country and once sheis there do your best to make her happy if this takes you to pay for ger travel do it. It is worth while saving a life then regretting afterwards that we had a chance but couldnt do anything. Always be in touch with her phone if she talks abput sucide make her relize the importance of life.
1 person likes this
