living in america with non-english speaking residents

United States
May 23, 2011 4:57am CST
I have friends in college who are Japanese-Americans but don't like to speak English. I guess they were raised speaking Japanese because all our parents were immigrants from Japan. For me, even though my parents moved here from Japan, I still prefer to speak English. I think it forms a barrier when my friends only speak Japanese. Their English is already not that great even though they should be fluent since they're in college. choosing to speak Japanese among their Japanese friends can only make the language barrier worse. I think it's nonsense that they don't try to integrate their language skills to the society they are living in. Not only is it the language, it's the culture that they refuse to live in. Everything they do is about Japanese society - they are more group oriented and they can't understand me when I try to do things as an individual. If I ever want to do something on my own, they tell me I'm being selfish. This is really annoying me because they can't even see that it's a matter of culture. Do you ever have this problem among your friends? This is the reason diversity is so difficult - it's because even though there are people who try to be open to other cultures like me, there are still those who can't be open to other cultures because they don't have a sense of what culture even means.
1 person likes this
11 responses
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
23 May 11
This is a common occurrence among people from Community based cultures moving to countries with a "ME" based culture. If you ever have the chance to read "The Art of Choosing" by Sheena Iyengar, she goes over this particular phenomena, and the psychology behind how it effects our performance in school, work and life. I think it is interesting, and though I do believe that if you are around English speaking people, you should speak English, and I used to tell the girls from the Philippines that all the time, and they didn't really like that discussion with me. I think it turned into a game with them, but as with so many other things, it is easier to do what is easier. It is what it is right, were I in your position, I think I would try to explain how that particular cultural difference, the being selfish thing, can help people to be more successful in America. And that speaking English will help them more then they can think. But if that still don't cut, I am sure in the next 25ish years, Mandarin is going to be almost as universal as English. Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
23 May 11
It is already the most spoken language in the World, English is in 2nd place. It is not too far of a cry from what is very possible. But then, it is just my opinion, which of course would be different from yours, and that is okay. What makes it impossible for China to employ people at a higher pay rate then every English speaking country? The Yuan is already worth more then most English Currencies. So that is very possible, not to mention that China owns most of the Debt of the USA. Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
23 May 11
Yes I agree Mandarin is the most spoken language in the world,but mostly in China only. Chinese Yuan Renminbi is already worth more than most English Currencies?Lol... See, 1 British Pound is=Approximately 10.5 Chinese Yuan Renminbi 1 Australian $ is=Approximately 6.85 Chinese Yuan Renminbi 1 Canadian $ is=Approximately 6.65 Chinese Yuan Renminbi 1 US $ is=Approximately 6.5 Chinese Yuan Renminbi You do still think so? And yes its true that China owns most of the Debt of the USA and so does the USA.If the USA companies stops outsourcing their work China will come down so will the USA at the very same time.But the USA and China are,and have been depending almost entirely on each other since the world war 2.The USA companies needed a millions of workers and does still need it,mainly a cheap labour force and Chinese needed a millions of works and does still need it.....
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
23 May 11
You are saying in the next 25 years,Mandarin is going to be almost as universal as English...?Lol For that they need to invade their neighbouring countries and many other countries to replace the English popularity by Mandarin and get more people talk in Mandarin ASAP which is impossible or employ the world population at a little bit higher pay-rate than what every English speaking countries does which is also impossible. So here is a big NO.I don't see there is any language which could challenge English in present,not even in the near future.
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
23 May 11
I see there is no big deal talking in Nihongo among the Nihonjin friends because they are Nihonjin so it's seriously not a big deal that they respect and talk Nihongo.But since they are living in the USA they must know English,not just because it is an official language of the USA but the international one and try to get mixed up with other Americans as much as possible and talk in English as much as they can because there are many nice people out there so language should never be a barrier in it.And you say they are more group oriented maybe they are but always keep remember there is a reason for every single thing....
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
24 May 11
Oh!then it's not good at all.Or maybe it's their ego that coming in their way that they are brilliant as Americans but cannot speak English fluently.They might be thinking Americans will make a fun of their accent so they try to avoid Americans and English,both.
• United States
23 May 11
yes there is no problem with it if they never want to make american friends. I guess that is my major point that I forgot to mention. I think it's pathetic that they don't make an attempt to get outside their bubble and meet americans. After all this is America, and if they don't like Americans they can move to Japan - these particular friends are rich enough.. I go to a college with a 80 percent Japanese population. Half of this japanese population is from japan, and came to america for the first time to go to this college. Most of them will return to Japan. The group of friends that I have known is the other half of the japanese students who are americans. They seem to move closer towards the Japan-Japanese students rather than even speaking to the other american students. It really annoys me because this school "promotes" diversity, but in reality it just makes groups more distinct.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
23 May 11
When I was living in Italy I had other foreign friends and we always spoke English together, but I also had Italian friends and we spoke Italian together. I don't think that it is problem to speak your own language with other foreigners when you are living abroad, but I don't understand people who ONLY speak their own language and ONLY stick to the things from their own culture. Personally I like to combine things from my own culture with things from the country where I live. Some of the foreigners in Denmark aren't interested in the Danish culture and they don't want to learn the Danish language. I find that hard to understand. I don't think that it is a good idea to reject the new culture completely, because you miss out on a lot of things that way.
• United States
23 May 11
Good point, I try to learn japanese even though it is so hard for me to understand. I went through childhood going to Saturday school just to learn Japanese while all the other students were only there because they couldn't understand their daily English classes because they had just moved to the US from Japan. Sadly, all the students at that Saturday school used that one day of the week to act as if they were superior - I guess it was a defense mechanism because they must have felt so out of place not understanding the language of this country. That school was there to help them stay up to date with regular education - there were math lessons, history lessons, just like in regular school. But they just took advantage of it because they refused to learn english.
@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
23 May 11
Hi sashakiddo! Living in a different country means we should also adapt to that country's culture bit by bit and if we cannot then at least we should try. English is the universal language and those friends of yours should try to speak more English specially if your non-Japanese friends are around so that they will not be left out. It will be good if you suggest to them to try a little bit and make them open-up to American culture.
• United States
23 May 11
I agree. When I went to spain for study abroad I tried my best to talk to the spanish people in their language. I don't see the point in going to a different country if a person is not going to embrace what is there. I don't go to Spain to ask people questions in English as if they really care to understand English.
• United States
23 May 11
I do know many who come to the US from Puerto Rico, and refuse to speak English. Though some have spoken lingo at times feel embarrassed and refuse to speak the English language. There is no way around it, where if they do not continue using the language they will not improve. Especially the older ones that I know refuse and do not want to change their ways. Some have such a hard time that they return back, because they allow their ego to interfere. My personal opinion though is that I feel proud of any who try because shows they are trying and doing their best.
• United States
23 May 11
Yes, I think they only thing those types of people can do is move back to their country. If they do try hard to learn the language, they should stay. I think it's honorable when people try.
@sswallace21 (1824)
• United States
23 May 11
I think when people enter America they need to follow american customs, language and share their culture. I don't think it's appropriate for them to come to America and force their customs and language on us. I think it's actually rude for them to speak only in their native language when in public. My guess is, they all know exactly what we are saying. I believe we should know what they are saying, as well. I was stationed in Germany and at least made an attempt to speak their language and they were greatful and helped me when I needed assistance with words. I should be the same here. Best Wishes!
• United States
23 May 11
I agree, I have tried to speak japanese with them but it gets frustrating when they don't make any attempt to speak english. I don't mean to be rude- i've seen the alexandra wallace video where a white college student rants about annoying asians and I would never want to go to her level- but as an Asian American, I have to say, there are times when I can not identify with other Asians who just won't realize the extent to which they are forcing people to stereotype against their culture. I make an effort to break the stereotypes while they just make the stereotypes more present. If they want to stay true to their culture, that is fine, but they can't go around acting like theirs is the "right" one.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
24 May 11
When a person moves to some other place,he/she should try to speak the language of that particular place instead of speaking own language. It seems so strange when people move to some other place and they speak their own language in public.
@himzey (1321)
• India
26 May 11
I guess they have either witnessed or experienced something in US, which was very unpleasant to them; which they cant easily get down their throats. This may have compelled them to keep themselves completely aloof of the US lifestyle. Or they might just want to keep their cultural heritage alive . Or it might be, that they simply like to be distinct form the rest of the crowd. Yup.. having a conversation in Japanese in the middle of a crowded US street surely makes them look distinct and draws other peoples' attention. In any case, you should ask them and let them speak out about what led to such a behavior. Dont start opposing instantly, first listen fully to their side of the story or reason, and then act accordingly. Wish you luck.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
24 May 11
I have a very strict Muslim friend, born and live in Bali all her life. Bali is an island where Hindu people from Java island moved to centuries ago when Muslim religion came to Java. Bali is also a worldwide tourist destination, so of course most of the restaurants and cafes here adopt international cuisines which some of them consist pork. Whenever we went to hang out in a restaurant or cafe, she would look into the menu and if she found out it has some pork in the menu, she would only drink from a can and would not order any food to eat. Sometimes I told her to move and live in Java... I don't ask her to eat foods with pork, but there are many choices that don't have pork in it. She went back hungry most of the time and we excluded her more and more when it's time to get together with friends...
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
24 May 11
I think when one goes to another place where the language is English, it is imperative that we speak the language too. It would be too difficult to convey that we would like to say if we cannot speak English. It would also be discourteous if a group speaks their native tongue, when they are in a discussion with English speaking people.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
hi, maybe they are more lived in Japanese rather than in America so that your friend more fluent or more speakable in the language of Japan,and maybe the fluency of the language she/he know is more in Japanese.