At this point of the life, how I make friends?

@jameygc (452)
United States
May 30, 2011 10:09pm CST
When I was at school it was so easy to make friends. I had so many friends, it was so good. My dad used to get mad with me every time we go to the mall or something like that. We had to stop every minute to talk with one of my friends. I remember that and it makes me laugh. But now I am 30, I am married and I live in a place I don't know anybody. I met some people in my job, but they was co-workers not considered friends. I am not working anymore, so I spend the days only with my child because my husband is working. Sometimes is so depressing. Sometimes I need something to talk with. Or have a good time shopping or eating. But I find myself always alone.My husband and I we are both very friendly. Sometimes we talk about it. How do we can make some friends? I don't have the most remote idea. So, how do you make your friends? Do you have any suggestion?
3 people like this
14 responses
@lajonez (477)
• Poland
31 May 11
there are not some play grounds you can take your child? so you can meet other mothers and make some friends :) married people are couples that they have the same interests are you, for sure you'll meet there someone you could make your friend!
2 people like this
@jameygc (452)
• United States
31 May 11
That is a good one lajonez. I should try it. Thank You
• Philippines
31 May 11
i would suggest that for some time, try to invite your neighbors in your house to do some stuff - eating meryenda, watching movie, or something enjoyable to bond with... or if that was risky, try to smile to them whenever you go outside your house. Be friendly. it will really count great efforts to have one. try to make the first move. Godbles!
@jameygc (452)
• United States
1 Jun 11
I really don't know my neighbors but maybe I can do that. The thing is that it seems like here lives many old people. I don't see much young people.
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
go to your nearest church. there you will find lots of people who used to smile always and also you can find true friends there. you can try some jogging too every morning, surely you'll find some mates whenever you do exercise and boom! you'll have friends now!
@jameygc (452)
• United States
3 Jun 11
Thanks a lot for the advise. I surely can do that.
• United States
31 May 11
As we get older our interests change from when we were younger and I agree it is not as easy as before. Some people mature differently and while at times we think we connect with certain people sometimes it is not as natural as perhaps it was before. I would say going out a bit more and meeting new people would be a start, though going out requires a bit of spending and it is so hard for many of us to do so these days. So simply do your best and allow the friendships to come naturally so that you do not befriend the wrong and or incompatible types. With the summer thriving it may be a bit easier therefore, go for walks with your child and see if anything perhaps with other moms may work out. Good luck and wishing you all the best.
@jameygc (452)
• United States
31 May 11
You are so right. I don't know. Maybe they'll come to me.
• United States
31 May 11
Yes there are many ways I would agree with the suggestion of going to the park with your child and maybe you could meet other mothers, as well as finding different mommy and me programs they might have. Well I wish you the best, and if you two continue to be friendly you will find more friends.
@jameygc (452)
• United States
31 May 11
Thanks. Yes, I already took note. ;)
• United States
31 May 11
I think after high school I really didn't care to make new friends as I got older. I am too in my 30's and they don't make friends like they use to anymore. Its like people don't value friendships or know how to honest and true. Be careful what you wish for honey and being that you're married with a family, you don't want the wrong set of friends. I live far away from my good friend and its times I wanna go shopping and all but because I love to shop so much, I actually enjoy it by myself. Its my therapy when im not in a good mood. Its nothing wrong with just going out by yourself and the baby for a little retail therapy or maybe an afternoon movie. It does get depressing sitting in the house. You run out of stuff to do and to clean...I know I do. Why not contact those co-workers if you had a good relationship with them. You're not working with them anymore so maybe you'll feel different about hanging out with them. I don't know if this helps at all coming from a person that's picky on who I let in my life...good luck
@jameygc (452)
• United States
1 Jun 11
I always have been very independent and use to do all my stuff alone. Is just that sometimes I feel lonely. I think there other factors involved, like I don't have phone or car right now. Not always but sometimes I feel like I am in a prison. At least I have my husband, he is more than that. He is my best friend too. We enjoy the time together. But I miss some girls time.
• United States
1 Jun 11
I can understand that, I do to feel lonely at times. But you shouldn't feel like you're in prison honey, just relax your mind and think positive at all times. Im going thru alot especially with my finances but I try not to let it get me all the way down. I find something to pick my spirits back up. But I can't imagine not having my phone, I do everything on my phone. Im responding to you right now from my phone. But try to get you a phone, it'll open up a little socialism in your life. And its good that you have good times with your hubby, not everybody can have that kind of relationship. But all in all, a little girl time is needed
• India
31 May 11
Making friends is an art and maintaining them also. That I feel you are very good in. And there is no age limit for making friends. It seems that you are confined to your house and of course with the child at your side a mom will never get bored up. Now a days you have many a mode to contact and make friends is mobile, internet etc. Get engaged to these modes. No one can make you to make friends but guide you. If you are interested to work or to learn something sitting at home a lot of opportunities are there in the internet. Only you have to search and find one which you feel suitable to you. Discuss with your husband. You both joined can find a solution. All the Best
@jameygc (452)
• United States
1 Jun 11
Hello there! You have all the reason saying I am confined here. I don't even have a car right now and I can't drive my husband car because is manual and I don't know how to drive it. I don't get bored with my little child at all. But sometimes I miss to talk with somebody of my age. You know, talk about anything.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
31 May 11
jamey why not go to the church of your denomination and join some womens groups as thats an excellent way to meet other women and maybe some other young moms like yourself.Also if you have a gardening hobby say you love roses or fuchias why not join a Gardening club and meet other young women.Also where you live are you in your own home or in an apartment complex. in a complex you can often meet people your own age when washing clothes in the wash room. so many churches have several groups of women doing various things and you may meet other moms and make friends and even swap baby sitting too.Church is a great place to start and perhaps you have some friends at work that might love to be friends with you.take baby and volunteer at places as you will meet other p eople there too. you must get out and go where there are groups oif people.also a library just might give you some ideas as they often have groups who meet for various hobbies or as support groups for some diseases there is always something going on in a library
@jameygc (452)
• United States
31 May 11
Those are very good ideas. I surely put some of them in practice. Thanks so much.
• United States
31 May 11
Maybe you can be friends with stay @ home moms too. When you're home maybe go to the play ground, let your child play and you'll meet other moms or maybe go to the mall, might run into moms there and socialize :) I see it happen a lot.
@jameygc (452)
• United States
31 May 11
I definitely should try it. I probably will meet people with similar interests.
• Philippines
31 May 11
It's just easy. If you have an internet with you, just sign up in different website, like Facebook, Friendster, twitter, yahoo and etc.,. Actually there are many ways in the internet to make friends all over the world. It's a good opportunity and it's cool.
@casualkT (140)
• Canada
1 Jun 11
How do I make friends ... ? I don't think you like to try that. At age 30 there are people who come and people who go , I'll think that connection even if it just piece by piece will comfort me add to being married of course you need backup and won't want to maintain one important friend=husband .. well I don't have experience but that is my insight solution for me , I think .. as long as I have the problem -solvers around , I won't be lonely - independence needs to breed
• Philippines
1 Jun 11
In my opinion when it comes to the marrying age, when you're at the point where you spend 95% of your time with and for your family, your family members are your friends, the people you can lean on in times of depression and trouble. However, though, of course you could still make friends. Co-workers can still be considered as friends, you just have to make an effort to create that friendly bond with them. Your friends from college, if you could keep in contact with them, that would be good.
• India
1 Jun 11
U have the 'I' syndrome (sorry for speaking this openly) this is not the 'I' syndrome in which we think im everything, this is the exact opposite I say this is bcoz i have been in that situation before. First, we dont talk freely bcoz we think that it will make us look stupid (infact it will be seen to thers as ego) and so we will wait for others to talk first second is that we lack trust(its common in this corporate world) but we shuld do it for some instant. Our instincts will tell us whom we could trust and with whom we should make some limit Trust ur instincts and carry on, dont question it if u think im wrong, just ignore this comment; TC
@sjvg1976 (41131)
• Delhi, India
1 Jun 11
Hi jamey this is not only your problem but it happens to every one. I also had so many friends when i was in school then when i went to college list decreases & when i started job list almost diminished only one or two remained in list. Actually what happens when you grow up you take responsibility of you house hold you get involved in you day to day activities so much that don't even get time for yourself & you get separated from others, others also find themselves in same situation and this impact goes doubled. So in order to retain it you one must start to search them from social sites & talk to them by phone.Secondly go to clubs,parks,social gatherings, talk to neighbors these are some ways you will make new friends.
• Singapore
31 May 11
I find that I cannot make a lot of friends quickly because I tend to shy away from people due to lack of self-confidence. Perhaps you will be more outspoken and well liked if you show confidence?