When my child sleep

Well indahfth...You are probably not going to like my reply but...It sounds like you have given up. What chance does your son have if you give up. You see he only has YOU and if you wallow in self pity then you have lost and so will he. There are always options and it does not sound like you are looking for them. This is one of those times in life when you have to make a decision. What will you do...give up, which means your son has no chance or fight the fight and come out when the bell rings and fight for your son and yourself. Your choice indahfth...winning or losing is in your hands.

i think you should stand up to your husband and tell him that you will not let him treat your son like that anymore. Threaten him and say that you will have to leave to live with other family if this continues. I think you would help your son greatly by taking him away from his father. Good Luck!

I understand your sadness. You are, as we say in America, between a rock and a hard place. You have been taught to respect and obey your husband. However, you know that he is wrong and it is hurting both you and your son. I don't know enough about ypour customs to give you reliable advice. If you were here, I would suggest anger management classes but don't even know if that would be available in your country. A thought is that your husband may consider his loud angry sounding voice may be what he considers macho. You can't take away his macho, but maybe someone can make him see that his son cannot truly love and respect him if he is always afraid of him. It will even interfear with the child's learning protentional.

This is really quite normal though sad. Too bad that your son has to feel this fear and that you feel you are not a good mother. Is there anything that you feel you do well? I feel badly for you because your life seems so sad. Do his father spen much time at home?

I guess you need to talk with your husband. Your son is having fear towards his father due to the scenes that he sees (scolding you and him) Psychologists says that,having fear leads to inferiority complex. You need to act now before it's too late. I am not in any position to tell you exactly what to do,but at least give it a try,for your son's sake. happy weekend dear

I can only say that you need to be strong for your son.

You know by staying quite you are inflicting a life long injury on your son. Do you have any family that can support you in this, seek help from your parents or friends. Your husband is making you feel guilty while he is the guilty party. He is dominating you and thus teaching his son too the wrong way to treat women. There must be NGO's in your country working for welfare of women like you , go out and seek help and raise a fine young man you owe it to him and to yourself to lead a life of respect. Your husband has a bad tamper and he blames it on you which is wrong.

Hi indahfth, I know that this has to be difficult for you and not good at all for your son. Sadly there are many who think as your husband does and he probably saw his own father act in the same way. If this continues your son will likely adapt the same ideas as his father when he becomes a husband and father himself. I understand from your comments to others here that you have already discussed it with your husband and he sees no reason that he should change. I suggest that when you are satisfied that there is nothing more that you can do, that you place the outcome in the hands of God. There is a saying, "let go and let God" and I believe that it can work for everyone. Bring your concerns to God and than put your worries aside and trust that it will be taken care of. It doesn't matter what your religion, just that you believe in a higher power. Have no doubt but the outcome will be good but do not try to force things. Continue to do all you can for your child, especially console his fears. One other thing, you are not a bad mother but in fact a very good one because you want what's best for your child. Never put yourself down. Blessings.

indahfth oh my dear this sounds so sad and so wrong, a father should not be scolding a little child that is his own child. your husband sounds very controlling. Are you in India? here where I am in the United States we have marriage counselors that can help married people who have problems like this. You are not a bad mother at all, do do not call yourself that.Your husband sounds like he needs to learn to control his anger. If you have talked to him maybe if he would go with'you to whatever you have in the way of Marriage counselors it could help you both , strengthen your marriage and help him to understand he is frightening his own child. I am sure he loves his son but he needs to learn self control.If he is often scolding you this is not right,he still needs help to control his anger and start treating you with the respect you deserve. if you are being physically abused you need more help as no woman deserves to be hit. see what kind of help; you can get and keep us all advised. good luck and God bless.

Remember each of us comes into this world to walk our own road. You must do your best to make your son strong in himself. He needs to learn that he must do right for himself not because he fears another. Children are self centered and feel that they are responsible for other's actions, teach him this is not true, he is only responsible for himself as is his father. His father's road has made him the way he is, but remember we are all in each other's life to learn our own lessons. Blessings to you all.

Hi indahfth! I am so sorry to hear your marriage life story. I hope you and your husband can talk about your problem and fix it at once. You said that your husband loves your child however, he has a bad temper like he has a problem in handling his emotions. Talk and tell him when the mood is okay that he needs to change if he loves his son truly. Make him aware about the feelings of your child towards his father... I hope your husband realizes his faults. I don't know the real score but as far as I know and understand, you love your child so much. Try so hard to protect your child at all times to his/her father... I know your child feels how much you love him/her. If this situation continues, I suggest you both leave your husband. Make him known that this is not to be tolerated. This has to stop and he has to change if he wants you and your child stay to his side. Be brave. Good luck! Wish you all the best.

Hi indahfth So sorry to hear this is happening with your son and it appears that it is as a result of his fathers actions. I understand that you cannot speak to your husband because he will not listen to reason. What I can convey is do try and continue to show your son your motherly love as much as possible, make him feel as special as you possibly can. Though it may not change his emotional feelings, one thing for sure is that he will for ever remember your loving ways.

i have a daughter and her dad and i can't provide for her. her dad is too stubborn, too lazy to look for a job even if he had already graduated college. i'm still in college and by the number of units that i'm taking, it's difficult to look for work while studying. we rely on his parents to buy my daughter's milk, diapers, etc. when we sleep, i always look at her and say sorry that we can't give her everything she's supposed to get. i also say sorry that her dad is that way. when she wakes up i make sure that i give her all the attention i can give her. i make her feel loved. i let her know that despite these things, she has me and i'll try to do the best that i can for her. let's just support our kids. let them know that whatever's happening isn't their fault. make them feel that whatever's happening can still change. i do think you should talk to your husband about his behavior toward your son. he may grow up to be a rebel or to be weak if this goes on

be patience and strong for your son.

You need to protect your son from his father before the situation gets worse. Or you can teach your son to behave when his father is around. Your son is lucky because he got you, because you are not like your husband.

If my husband was to treat my daughter badly I would be out of the marriage or better still he would be out of the house! I realise you live in a different culture to mine but you need to stand up for your son or your husband’s attitude will ruin his life. I was brought up in an emotionally abusive environment and it has taken me years to have any confidence about me. You need to put a stop to this situation any way you know how. If it was me I would approach my husband and warn him that if he doesn’t stop the abuse we will both be gone.

No your not a bad mother to your child indahfth, In fact you care so much for him no parents mostly ,I mean would want anything bad to happen to their children but at his early age seeing what his father is doing to you and sometimes to him is not a good example.You know children will imitate what they see while growing up.As you have said his father loves him but the way he is showing his love for your him is the opposite. The best you could do is talk to your husband in a mild manner, tell him if ever you have a disagreement he should not scold you in front of your son.Solve it between yourself without the presence of your child.

communication is the best for your family, air it out. i guess it does not give any good if you continue to be in this set up.

Whenever a child fears something its a sign that he/she needs a greater assurance and understanding because it has a big importance in family relationships. Fear are the symptom and parents must look for the cause behind it. Sometimes the cause is simple and lies in am immediate experience at other times it is necessary to look much deeper for it. I believe that everyone can be a good parent by building their communication with their children step by step...

get strong, and be patient mom. Pray to Allah, to open your husband heart.