If you don't believe in giving gifts on birthdays or holidays are you an Athiest
By neededhope
@neededhope (1085)
United States
June 12, 2011 6:22pm CST
so.. my mom and I were talking bout mother's day to start.. and I said I feel mothers day you should wish ur mom happy mothers day and live it as a normal day. And yes I mean no gifts.. I think there's more meaning than going along with out society of giving gifts or falling for the merchandise world.
Also her birthday was this month and I tell her every year don't buy anything for me and my husband.. This year we were togetheir for the first time in a few years for her birthday.. Well apparently that's not enough..
Than she said well.. if you don't believe in giving for birthdays.. and giving for holidays (I do for christmas) such as mothers day.. than you may as well call urself and athiest.. cause you must not believe in anything..
So she is comparing Mother's day To.. Jesus's Birthday... I'm not sure what to think of this.. but.. Can she truly call herself a christain to think that.. that mother's day should be as just as important and Christmas?
And by the way you may think it's wrong not to give a gift for her birthday.. But how would it be fair to.. spend money on my parents birthday and not my husbands? To me that is not right and certainly not fair.. So how could I look at my husband and say we need to buy her something and not buy anything for his parents? To me it's not right.. Not even sure how to explain that to her...
What usually happens.. sometimes we run into money to get someone something and another month were short... So someone would end up getting nothing.. I just can't find that fair and right.. So better not to buy anybody anything.. or in my feeling.. that's how it should be.
What do you guys think?
3 people like this
11 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jun 11
If you Really think about it , the best thing to do for Christ on His birthday is to help out the poor. Didn't he say , What you do to the least of you , you do to me? Or something like that. So I don't understand how your mom equates Mother's Day with Christmas! or maybe I do. To her and many , the bigger the gift, the more you love them! No gifts means you don't love. How sad. If you have a tradition of not giving gifts, then everyone should respect it. They don't have to understand it, but they Have to respect it.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jun 11
There is so much pressure to find the Perfect gift. my mom , G-d bless her, was always happy with anything I gave her. One year she needed and go walking shoes for Mother's Day!
I agree with your tradition with Christmas. My family is Christian but I am not. So we celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. And one year there wasn't any money for gifts and it was the best Christmas. We just had a good dinner.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
14 Jun 11
And you will have it. Sadly your parents Actually think that love is expressed through things. ' If I buy this for the kids , they will love me." Instead of just going for less stuff and showing their love by being there .One of the best Christmas gift-wise was the one after I lost my dad. I just knew that what I wanted wouldn't be under the tree. How could it be , my dad Was my Santa Claus. But.. I woke up and there it was , an autoharp! I don't know how but it was the best surprise.It showed what I Already knew , my mom loved me. But sadly many think they Have to buy Everything to Show their love, the love they feel but are way too busy to show on the other days. It is so sad.
@neededhope (1085)
• United States
14 Jun 11
I swear it has part of what our society has become.
1 person likes this
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
13 Jun 11
You buy gifts because you want to give not because you feel it is an obligation. I don't give gifts alot because i am still a student and my monney and savings gos to my education...which is a priority for me. My friends all understand my situation so it's not a problem. My mom also doesn't want gifts as well because we have alot of other bills to pay with the little earnings we make. But i do give from time to time just to show my appreciation. If your mom wants gifts that badly, maybe you can make something on your own and give it to her like baking cupcakes or something special like that...but she has to understand that she cannot be selfish and there are also other people in your environment as well like your parents in law as you mentionned.
@ladysakurax (1161)
• Canada
13 Jun 11
oh yeah..i was soo focused in writing that i forgot to answer the question 
giving gifts or not has nothing to do with being an atheist or not. how about people who are actually atheist and do echange gfts for fun? Mother's and father's day are great when it comes to showing grattitude on how they raised you and all..but the part of buying gifts is just commercial for me...
giving gifts or not has nothing to do with being an atheist or not. how about people who are actually atheist and do echange gfts for fun? Mother's and father's day are great when it comes to showing grattitude on how they raised you and all..but the part of buying gifts is just commercial for me...@neededhope (1085)
• United States
13 Jun 11
yup it's just bout the merchandise or what it seems to have become..
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
13 Jun 11
Firstly, just because one doesn't believe in giving gifts doesn't mean that they don't believe in anything.
Second, atheism means not believing in a god. It doesn't mean that you don't believe in anything. It doesn't even mean that you don't celebrate holidays or even that your not spiritual.
Third, atheism has nothing to do with giving or not giving gifts. I know plenty of atheists who give gifts. I know plenty of atheists who give gifts on Christmas for that matter.
There are some religious groups who don't believe in giving gifts such as the Jehova witnesses.
Fourth, there's a lot more to holidays than giving gifts. The gift giving is only the material side to holidays. The point of most holidays including Mother's Day and Christmas is love, to show love and appreciation. So in fact giving gifts could be considered to distract from the important and true meaning of holidays, which is why as I said before some refuse to give or receive gifts at all.
Lastly, Mother's Day isn't a religious or spiritual holiday at all, so I don't know how atheism was even brought up at all.
@neededhope (1085)
• United States
13 Jun 11
Honestly Sketch I think you said it right.. And I have no idea why my mom called me that just because I didn't give her items.
And I too agree that gifts do distract from the true meaning of holidays. Actually my husband and I both agree with that.. That's why we desided that when we have children we wanna raise them a different way.. For instance not lie bout fake things.. Like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.. It's just setting up to our children that there parents lie.. Why not be honest with our children and reflect the true meaning of those holidays rather than.. what they certainly are not about.
@youaremylush (479)
• United States
13 Jun 11
This really makes no sense. Just because you don't believe in giving someone material items for praise or for certain occasions doesn't make you an Atheist. Being an Atheist means you don't believe in any god, not that you don't believe in giving gifts.
I don't believe in giving people gifts who won't appreciate them. Why should I waste my hard earned money or my time giving them something they won't be thankful for. The lust for material items has completely turned the spirit of giving into an expectation of you giving someone something and being gifted back.
@neededhope (1085)
• United States
13 Jun 11
It completely has turned into that.. Just because one can't or isn't able to give a gift of some sort of value does not mean they care bout that person any less.
It just seems our society has lost what true meanings of certain holidays are about and what birthdays are about.. I think our society has just turned into merchandising... Forget the true meaning of that day.. Instead.. it's like What'd you get me?...
@KingLobster (219)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I don't feel that you are an Athiest just because you decide not to give gifts on birthdays or holidays. In fact, I do not believe that the two things are connected at all.
Webster's dictionary spells out Atheism as: "A disbelief in the existence of a diety"
In my mind, this is has nothing to do with someone's feelings about giving gifts. The tradition of giving gifts for Christmas stems from the Bible story about the three wise men bringing gifts to the newborn infant at Bethlehem. Other religious traditions have other meanings for the gift giving part of their holidays as well. Many people do not even think about this at all as they go out to buy gifts for their loved ones. It seems that we have turned this more into an exercise in commercialism than anything else. Those who are opposed to this way of thinking would obviously consider not giving gifts on the holidays.
Just because you are opposed to giving gifts on the holidays does not mean you are an athiest. It could just mean that you are opposed to the process itself, or even that you are just strapped for cash.
One final thing to note is that many atheists still give gifts to one another on religious holidays. The two things are not connected.
@Chiang_Mai_boy (3882)
• Thailand
13 Jun 11
What three wise men? I can't find mention of three of them in the bible. 
@surfer222 (1714)
• Indonesia
7 Jul 11
i don't see what gifts have anything to do with being atheist or not... because if being religious mean you have to give someone gifts then the rich people are the most religious people on the planet... because they give a gifts easily... and the people in foster home are the worst atheist because they are the one that hard to give something to others...
@Flight84 (3048)
• United States
7 Jul 11
First off, let me say I am an Atheist. I'm not loud, rude, or ever in anyone's face about it either. I'm very respectful to any and all religions as long as I get the same respect in return. Feeling like gifts don't have to be given doesn't make you an Atheist. It just means that you see the real meaning behind these holidays. I totally agree about Mother's Day. We went to my mom's house to spend the day with her and my husband and son made breakfast fr me. It was a wonderful day and no gifts were needed. I admire that you feel strongly about it. I do give birthday gifts and gifts to my family at Christmas (despite my beliefs), but I understand completely what you're saying.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
13 Jun 11
hi neededhope I cannot see where religion enters into giving or not giving gifts on holidays. This is strictly a personal thing where a person feels he or she should give a gift for Mother's day or fathers day or Christmas . to me Christmas though is a religious holiday and we give gifts in honor of Christ's birthday.But not giving gifts has nothing to do with being an Athiest. I however think on Fathers day or Mothers day sort of token showing our love and appreciation,. I realize that all holidays get over commercialized and people feel they are geing forced to do things they so not want to do, But your mom or your dad are not expecting an exensive gift. its the thought the person puts into the gift that makes moms and dads days special not the cost or size of the gift.In fact it may be special dinner or a movie or a trip somewhere in place of a gift.The whole idea to me is the honoring of your parent.So I think a dinner for your mom or dad or taking them to a movie would be a great gift.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
18 Jun 11
I think that the ability to buy and give gifts solely depends on one's situation. If one is hard up, then it should be understood if he or she does not give any gifts. Specially on make-up holidays like mother's day or father's day.
I think religion has got nothing to do with it. Or the lack of religion for that matter.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Nope for me your not or anyone which unable to give a gift is not athiest. Gift is a symbol of appreciation, remembrance and love but not faith... if you are not capable to give, just talk the person and give your sincer feeling about the person which more than a gift. Affection, love and care are considered good gifts if you given those to your mother or love ones your true Christians and followers of Christ... see you around
@moirai (2836)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Hehe. I don't actually see any connection between not giving gifts and being an atheist.
I, for one, do not believe that one is obliged to give gifts on occasions such as birthdays, and mother's day, etc. There are few times when I feel like giving gifts, but usually a greeting is enough.
Maybe the problem is that nowadays, these occasions have become commercialized (I hope I got the word right). So in the minds of some, it's necessary to give gifts during these occasions.
