She was raped, do we blame the parents?

@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
June 17, 2011 10:49am CST
In a recent post in my blog entitled 'They should burn in hell!', i was really mad about a tv news and i ranted, [i]A young lass was discovered and rescued by barangay tanods, not a piece of clothing on, wandering in a deserted road, and seemed to have lost her mind. She was raped by demons from hell, the news told. [/i] someone posted a comment and a part of the comment bothered me: The thing is, some parents forgot that their responsibility also includes guidance of their children’s social awareness. I think it is not fair to blame the parents entirely. The girl is already a college student and already knows what is right from wrong. Being a good parent to stubborn children is not a guarantee that they will grow to be sensible human beings. There are many influences that could in one or the other affect his or her beliefs. I have to say though that there are parents who really do not care. Here is a link to the post: http://warmstonesite.com/2011/06/17/they-should-burn-in-hell/
3 people like this
17 responses
• United States
17 Jun 11
Hi bingskee Rape itself is completely wrong, no if and or buts about it. We cannot blame the parents especially in this case. This is an adult child and how can the parents be blamed for something someone else decided was okay to do. That part would completely puzzle me as no matter which way anyone looks at it, it is the rapists fault no if and or but. Even if parents did not care for their children, though how is it their fault that a rapist feel it is okay to rape a person. No one obligated the rapist, the rapist opted to do such crime. Though in this society one should be cautious, it still does not give any individual the right to invade another human.
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
17 Jun 11
Rape is never the victim's fault, nor is it the parents' fault. The blame should always be laid squarely on the the shoulders of the "demons" who did it. For anyone to say otherwise is ridiculous.
2 people like this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
hello, ladydulce. indeed. i hope i was not misconstrued as saying it is the victim's fault. i was just trying to give reason to what someone had commented in my blog.
• United States
18 Jun 11
Oh no, not at all. I read the original post as well, and I understand where you were coming from. That kind of thing just makes me furious!
@debrakcarey (19887)
• United States
18 Jun 11
You are right. Each person has a free will and can choose to listen to their parents teaching or rebel against it. It is wrong to accuse or imply that a rape victim is at fault. Because each person has free will, the man who cannot control himself, or who feels he has the right to violate another is at fault. Always. No one has the right to use violence against another, especially one who is weaker physically.
1 person likes this
• South Korea
17 Jun 11
Well I think theres no parents who would want this things to happen to any of their siblings... and for me I think its the girls fault because shes in the right age and she should have known not to trust strangers you just met on facebook....!!!!!!!!!!!! I know she never wanted this to happen to her of course but after all the news today about the negatives sides of social sites... she should have considered it.... I feel sorry for her though.. The point is she was not kidnapped or pulled somewhere she went there by herself, (correct me if Im wrong, I just read your blog and it says she decided to meet the person she HAVE known in FB)
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
yes, she went with her own volition, princess. her sister warned her but she decided to go. i think, galena, that she is at fault about failing to realize the danger or the possibility of meeting danger by meeting with a total stranger. although truly it is not her fault that she was raped, she could have taken caution, too. in these times, the world is not a safe place anymore.
• South Korea
18 Jun 11
Im not really saying its her fault, Im just thinking of the other sides too thats why...
• South Korea
21 Jun 11
thats what I am trying to emphazise :)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
We shouldn't blame the parent nor the victim. It is the fault of the demon out there. Any parent wouldn't want their children to be in the same situation. It really break my heart watching that news and I prayed that wouldn't happen to us.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
it is truly heartbreaking. the news made me mad and sad at the same time. didnt get what you mean, mantis.
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
or the fault of demon thru temptation but with the consent of God?
17 Jun 11
its no-ones fault except the person who done it, the press shouldn't blame the parents, they should blame the rapist, in my opinion the parents brought up their baby girl very well for this to happen its very unfortunate and it to be blamed on the parents is just making it worse, i dont wish this on anyones children.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
there is nowhere in my blog post that said that the press blames the parents. anyway, it is very unfortunate that this has to happen.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84835)
• Shingle Springs, California
23 Jun 11
As a parent, we try to protect our children, but we can't protect them from everything. Sad story...
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
very true, dawnald, we cant be there all the time. it is a sad story.
@celticeagle (139901)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Jun 11
I think I have a good story I will share with you. An old girlfriend and I got into an argument one time years ago regarding Charles Manson. I have an obsession with psycopaths, serial killers and the like. I feel there is a reason they are this way and have even argured in some debates that I wonder if there isn't a gene that makes a psycopath. Who knows? ANyway, the debate was that I feel kids should know that there are horrors like Manson in this life. I think that in an age appropriate manner kids should be made aware. She argued that she would never tell a child about such things. Later, down the road a few years I found out that her daughter had been raped. My daughter never has been. I wonder if this has to do with me being open and upfront with my daughter about such things. The reason I told you this is that I believe if parents are affective and communicative with there children perhaps there would be a lower chance of such things happening.
@celticeagle (139901)
• Boise, Idaho
20 Jun 11
Ofcourse it didn't. I was making a point.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
i am not sure about your story if it is what contributed to the instance of rape. unfortunately, that girl was in a place and time where that evil rapist is around. even a well-advised girl could be a victim, that i understand.
@dorannmwin (36396)
• United States
20 Jun 11
My opinion is that the victim probably should not be blamed for the fact that she was raped and her parents definitely should not be blamed for the fact that she was raped. The reason that I feel this way is because I tend to think that rape is never the fault of the victim. Yes, there are some people that provoke certain things to come their way, but I still don't think that it is their fault. Additionally, most parents raise their children to know right from wrong but once their children are adults, it is much more difficult to control what their children are doing.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
that is exactly my point, dorannmwin. once they're adults, parents almost have no control.
@ramp123 (191)
• India
18 Jun 11
No surprise the poor girl lost her mind! Its hard to even imagine the trauma she must have undergone. The parents have really nothing to do with it, the culprits, who are really enemies of society, should be caught and shot.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
i really feel for the girl. my heart goes for her. i just hope she can recover and be back to her self and be able to point who that person in FB is.
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Her parents are partly at fault here. Not sure if she was raised well enough. Besides, when your a girl and you eyeball somebody tag someone along. Its a golden rule of safety that most teens now ignore. And when you eyeball someone. Its should be somewhere very very public. Just my two cents.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
oh, that is unacceptable to me. the parents do not have anything to do with it.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
26 Apr 13
the parents always have part why their child been rape,because of their responsibility is not that complete,but then this is case to case problem,sometimes parents need to work to survive in poverty that will be the result why they can not focus to their child.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
27 Apr 13
i beg to disagree with what you stated about parents 'always' having a part why their child was raped. while all rape cases are different, not all of them has got to do with parents not being 'complete' in their responsibilities protecting the child. it would always have to depend on the situation.
@macayadann (1235)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
If the girl knew in the first place that her parents are always giving her reminders of do's and don'ts then even in her silence and in her misery she knew who to blame or maybe it is really nobody's fault but her fate. However, although teenagers are now hard to handle, they themselves knew what is going on around, they are aware for sure of the cruelty of their surroundings as they are more exposed to these kind of scenarios posted everyday. They have learned the extra care to be given for themselves since they are mature enough to analyze and weigh the situations. Parents only guide, and even to give their undying love they can do nothing as their children leave to face activities outside their house.They can not always stand as guard to them. It is more hurting and unbearable to the part of the parents whatever bad situations their children may encounter.Not all parents are irresponsible and not all children are abiding to the laws of their parents and vis-a-vis. And so let us not judge and conclude negatively to the parents side only,see the real score first.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
the young of today are ever so curious. as the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat. what ever happens to the children, the parents suffer more. children do not seem to realize this and insist on what they want done. result, bad things happening to them. although even if children are stubborn, without rapists, nothing untoward will happen to them.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
didnt notice that phrase til now. i don't believe it is fate.
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
we can only blame the parents if the raped girls age are below debut age....
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
not at all times. there are instances that parents do not have control.
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
but sometimes after classes, girls doesn't go home but into malling in the city... that is some of the reasons why.... maybe sometimes we can't blame the parents because some of the parents are busy looking for money for the future of their children.... that their children soon will become a parents too.... they might experience the same scenario.....
• United States
17 Jun 11
The girl was the one who wanted the eyeball. This makes it easy to say she was partly at fault, but she still ended up the victim, didn't she? Also, a news post using words like "demons from hell" is a bit sketchy. It seems that they didn't look into a more information about the situation and just made assumptions that are sensationalist.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
oh, my. i wonder how this post read. it said, i ranted, it didn't say it is the news. she was partly at fault, i have to agree.
@Xansus (946)
• Bulgaria
17 Jun 11
I think the "Raped" part explains all of it ... Someone out of his mind doing u know "something" to someone against his will ... I dont know what part the victim or the parents have to play in this . Yes there are parent that dont care but that does not mean the other parents that care cant have this happening to their child , the problem is on the people that actually do it . I dont think if there was noone wanting to rape , there was going to be anything like : I blame the parents . Its like if someone kills someone you to throw the blame on his grandfather ... cuz well he is his grandfather ... its absolutely the same . She can be abducted even on the path to your house from the store and what can u do and what are u to blame ... I just wish noone ever get in this situation .
@mantis36 (4219)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
we can only blame the parents if the raped girls age are below debut age....