Spanking kids, for their own good?

I guess you have a point there ! But where does one draw the line? I have seen some parents resort to spanking and slapping children for every little thing so much so that even children begin to feel that it is alright to slap, beat or use physical abuse when they lose their temper...I have had such experience with my students who justify their action quoting their parents example...

Oh I completely understand that there needs to be a line that is drawn. In fact, that is really my whole point. There need to be more serious consequences for certain actions, because these actions are potentially very dangerous, which is why a single smack on the hand when reaching for a hot item would be more effective than a time-out, especially when the single smack is reserved for only potentially dangerous actions. If there is no distinction (the same consequence for every action), then that defeats the whole thing, but that is just my opinion.

What happens when the child puts his or her own health and safety at risk? Is a "time-out" really enough to make a child, especially a young one, understand that what they did was seriously harmful to them? I know that we talk to them about their actions once they are done with time-out, but young children really do not understand how dangerous and serious certain actions can be, especially when you are trying to explain with just words. Wouldn't a quick smack on the hand when they try reaching for a hot tray out of the oven work better, especially when time-outs are used for other instances, because it might convey to them that this is more serious than the other things that they are put into time-out for?

I agree, however sometimes it is really hard to control your own temper. When you are tired, and aggitated you sometimes feel the need to do some slapping, when your kids don't listen. How do you prevent yourself from slapping and stay calm and be reasonable and just take away their toys?

Every child is not the same, and time-outs do not always work, even if they are done "properly and consistently". That does not mean that there are not other alternatives that parents can try, though. There are more than just two options (hitting or time-out) when disciplining a child, and many times there is no "one answer" but a variety of methods that will work depending upon the situation.

@ieniemienie, Yes, being tired and aggravated can make you want to slap your kids when they are misbehaving. But that is NO EXCUSE to do it. You must have self-control and learn how to calm yourself. You cannot blame your kids for you not having self-control. When your kids are misbehaving, you tell them "No, it is NOT okay to do that!". If they continue, then you give them a warning. "If you continue misbehaving, you will be put in time-out/naughty corner." Then, if they still continue to misbehave... you pull them to time-out and sit them down. If they get up, put them back and say "You have to sit in time-out for ____ because you were misbehaving". If they get up any time after that... put them back and do not say anything to them at all. Eventually, they will stay until their time is up. Then you will be able to go over and explain why they were placed in time-out, ask for an apology, hug and kisses, etc... Eventually, they will get to where they will stay in time-out with any hassle. But you have to be consistent first, and let them know you are not messing around anymore. @purple, I agree. I am just sick and tired of parents saying that time-outs do not work, so they have to spank their children. They say the time-outs do not work because the child doesn't magically start behaving like an angel all the time. Kids are kids, and are not going to completely change with a time-out. They are still going to misbehave at times... that is when you sit them in time-out again! Also, they complain that they won't stay in time-out once put in it, so they just give up... and o back to spanking. If you read above, I have clearly explained how time-out can be done properly... and it does work that way, most of the time. There are children that time-outs just do not work for. However, it is best to decide that after trying the technique above. In these cases, you can use a different form of discipline. There are actually many ways to discipline a child, and I believe you should properly try all of them before you choose to hit your child. In some cases, a child may need a combination of different forms of discipline. That is fine. You may have to see a family, or child counselor to help... as they can give good advice.

I also use the NO and clapping. My youngest is almost one. When I do this he just looks at me and start smiling and laughing. The oldest is two he is shook up when I do this but what really helps is treatening with the fact that if he does not stop misbehaving, he has to sit in his chair. Which means he cannot play. This works so far the best.

I agree, don't think violence is ever the solution. However when our parents were young slapping was the most normal way of discipline, maybe because the kids then had no playstation to take away?

Did you learn something when your parents hit you? Did you never misbehave after that? The self control part is true but I gues this should start with the parents! The should have self control. Self control in the sense, that they can control their frustrations and control the need to hit their child. There are better ways!

No, and that time i still cant understand. This action made me hate my father. i think if parent is always hit the child,this would make the children may don't like them and consider their parents not like them.

Silvervixen, your story makes sense to me. Still I will not try it but I can see your point of view. If it is just this popping then I see no real harm in it. But by the time you can explain things are harmfull would you still pop them?

Absolutely not. If he can understand what he's doing will hurt him it makes no sense to do so. I've only done it 4 times altogether, (by our neighbors dog who growls at everything and when he kept trying to touch the hot clothes iron) and I know it didn't hurt him, just scared him to know there are some things we don't touch. But all this was months ago and I haven't really had to tell him no more than once or twice. He is in the stage where he can't communicate well so he whines a lot. But I pick him up and take him to his bed and tell him that when he stops whining and can show mommy what he wants, he can get out. It takes a few minutes sometimes, but it works like a charm.