Why People Give Advice They Don't Do?
By Bannybanzie
@Bannybanzie (1397)
Philippines
July 10, 2011 1:04am CST
I find a lot of people give advice on almost everything. Those are very good pieces of advice which would really help someone in such a situation.
But what I noticed is that when those people who often give advice are in that same situation, the situation they once gave very beautiful and useful advices, it becomes hard for them to do what they once said.
Like if two people have a fight, someone may advice "Go talk to him and talk over the matter.. blah blah blah". But when he's the one involve in a fight, he would not do that same advice.
So it's easy said than done, eh?
3 people like this
27 responses
@celticeagle (164723)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Jul 11
I think it is very easy to give advice. Yes, much easier said than done. If we have experienced the advice given then we know what we need to do. If we care for the person we give the advice to then we want them to do better than perhaps we have done. Advice is the knowledge or experience put to use whether by the person giving it or the one given to.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
Hi!
Yes, it's easier said than done. And another yes, we give advice though it could be hard if it is us on the situation because we care for those people we give advice to.
Thanks and have a good life!
2 people like this
@pinkpiglet (330)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
That's so true! People do give advice, but they themselves don't actually follow it. I'm guilty as charged. Sometimes, I give advice based on my own experience. That means, those are the things that I've actually done and worked. But on other times, I give advice based on what I've read or learned from other people. I'm a great listener when my friends share to me their problems. And when they do, I just naturally come up with advice even if I haven't experience such problem yet.
And I think another reason why people give advice that they don't do is because the one you're giving advice to is a person who has a problem or a dilemma. Therefore, you're obliged to lift their spirits up by giving advice that are positive. You don't wanna add up to their problems by giving the wrong advice, right?
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
Yeah, we want to help others and not turn them down even more. Also, sometimes it is really hard to realize how hard the situation is unless we are the one in that situation, and we realize how hard it is and we cannot do our own advice.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
10 Jul 11
Yes it seems like people who do give good advice can also be in the same situation and not take their own. I often wonder if it is that they too want confirmation? See they know what to do but sometimes it is good to discuss with others to sort of get outside opinions and although they know what to do they sort of want to hear others point of view to see if it is actually the same as theirs. This is why they will continually get advice from several sources until they actually get one or some that will also agree with what they had already advised someone else with. Sort of an affirmation, to their already know what to do, is the way I have seen it happen over and over.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
10 Jul 11
Hi Mrs. Hatley
That surely was an awful to have gone through. I am glad though that you have been the wonderful and helpful person that you are. Always speaking out to encourage us here daily. I so admire you for this all the time.
@surfer222 (1714)
• Indonesia
10 Jul 11
hehe.. i guess you are right... it's easier to say than done it.. it remind me of jack black movie 'school of rock' he said that those who can't do, teach...
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Oh.. but being an example is a good teacher right, better than just plainly teaching it.. Thanks!
@vivamir (671)
•
10 Jul 11
Advice someone gave me after I was told to take my own advice once-
'Its easier to help others, as your on the outside looking in..yet to be the one on the inside, is a challenge to help yourself..'
Although I honestly, can say, I don't fully understand this- it makes a strange type of sense..
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
I think the advice goes this way: It is easy for us to try to help others as we are just looking at the situation and not experiencing it. But when it is us in the same situation, our own advice may be hard for us to do and we realize how hard the situation really is.
@ernakienchaie (33)
•
10 Jul 11
I think these people are so idealistic. They know what is the right thing to do because they are witty but when they are on the certain situation, they are fail to help themselves. Very ironic.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
Yeah, it's easy to say things to others but applying the same things to our lives can be a hassle. Thanks and have a great day!
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
22 Jul 11
Yes, I'm guilty of this. However my heart is truly in the right place and I really do try to help people to be better. I just wish my own life was not such a mess and I was able to heed my own advice.
I certainly know what I should be doing but being motivated to do it is something else.
Can someone give me advice on how to take my own advice please.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Well, when we give advice, all we want is the best for that person.. unless we hate them.. Yeah. I also got into situations like that. I know what I should do and what's best but I just won't do it.. but I tell others to do that..
Well, it easy said than done.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 11
hi bannybanzie my son used to say people are funny pecuilar meaning he could not always figure them out. thats what i think happens to me whem I give good advice yet do not follow my own advice. I had a problem relating to a resident here as she does not regard personal space at all. she wants to talk to you she gets right in my face and I back up. I like her but we are not buddy buddies. finally I told her advice I give others, you get in my space alice and you anger me. I decided you do not even know you are doing it so I thought maybe I could explain most people get uncomfortable if someone gets too close to them.
She was really intrigued as she had never heard of this before and here she oldet than I am loll 96 to my 84. i am I guess better educated than she is I have a college degree blah blah. any way she talks to me now at a normal distance and I find her really interesting .she made her living as a personal masseuse and lived down on New Port beach at that timed . No the place where she lived is very expensive to rent.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jul 11
typo alert Now the place where she lived is very expensive to rent
she rented that for 100 a month now its 1000 a month.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
It's right you explained to her the situation. Sometimes, if we don't tell people what we want, they will never know.
About her rent!!! What!!! 10x before?? How could that be??? Is that some sort of a big mansion??
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
11 Jul 11
Hi Banyy!
Most of the time, I am giving it based on my experiences. If I am not doing it I will not give it to others to apply it. Yes, it is easier said than done. but when we are advising people bear in mind that we are advising our own self too. That is why whenever I am in such problems or involves in the same problems like them I will put myself in their shoes, give them advice and take the same for myself as well.(^^)
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Yes, the best way to give advice to someone is to see ourselves in the same situation and then think!
Happy day!
@akp100 (13640)
• India
22 Jul 11
Even i have seen many cases like that. One person was telling another to walk for good health. And i saw that the one who was advising is not following his own word. So yes its seems that saying is quite an easy task than doing. Same thing, I have seen that one elder(who used to smoke daily) giving advice to children that smoking kills.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Count me on that.. I say "hey drink water, don't do this, do that".. but I don't do what I say.. Well.. I don't smoke. Don't smoke.
Thanks and happy day!
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
TRUE. It's always easier said than done. I am guilty myself too. I do give advices but don't do them. Why? because it's just hard when you're the one involved.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
Yeah, it must be really hard when you're the one involved.. specially with the complicated side of life.. Everyone must know what I mean. Anyways, we should do what's best not just for others but for us.
Thanks and have a happy day!
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
hello BB,
I love giving advices to my friends specially if they really need one
But it doesn't mean I can't do it to myself but you are right there are some people who give advices to other yet they can't try it when they are facing the same problem.
happy mylotting
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
Hi!
A friend in need is a friend indeed.. and yes I think you're a real friend for your friends. Anyways, back to the topic, it's so common to see people like that...
Thanks and happy day!
1 person likes this
@sadafsakhawat (133)
• Pakistan
10 Jul 11
they give advice either they dnt adapt that,because they want their friends to be perfect.....................
.
1 person likes this
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
Hi!
Honestly, I'm not sure you read my entire post dear. Anyways, nobody's perfect and it would not be fair for anyone to expect perfection from someone. Thanks and happy mylotting!
@narthan (325)
• India
11 Jul 11
This is one common question that comes in every mind that receives advice. whether the advice is good or bad, but we definitely make it a point to ask them back, DO YOU FOLLOW?
It is sometimes wrong in ones part to think that if the adviser does not follow, then he should advice. because sometimes it is true that they advice others because they do want others to fall into pit or trouble as they did. It is only because of their experience that they advice.
This Is especially true in case of addiction.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Hi!
Though I was puzzled a little with your answer, I get your point. Now I think we should always consider who is giving the advice and see if the advice would really benefit us, right?
@gtdonna (1738)
•
13 Jul 11
Some people who ask for advice are actually seeking one of two things
1. They just want to hear another person opinion on the matter at hand and to guage if that individual agree with them or
2. They just want to talk for talking sake and really not seeking advice, but more of a way to hear someone either agree or disagree with whatever action they may be choosing to do.
It is like a friend approaching you to aks if she should buy the red or black dress and then when you say "I think the red dress looks great on you" that friend says something like 'I know the red dress looks greta on me, but I love the black one...it fits me so well and I have a shoes ot go with it" and so on and so forth and then end up buying the black dress.
So some people just don't want advice it's just human nature.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
Yes, if something bad has already happened to someone and also happened to somebody he/she cares for, we give advice so that whatever mistakes we have done, they will not do.
@allknowing (133473)
• India
13 Jul 11
"Practice before you preach" is only a collectors' item. Collectors of sayings and idioms! But at the same time there is yet another saying - 'One man's food is another man's poison' And so the one who lectures may not be in a position to be able to do what he tells others to do!
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hello Banny!
Yes, It is really true. It's good to give advice than do it on your own situation. Like you said, better said than done. It's like there was a moment for us that we know what the right thing to do but then something hinders us from doing it. Maybe it can be pride or any emotions we felt that we find it hard to do what we have to do.
People have different feelings and different thought of every incident in their lives that they can find it hard to do the right thing. Well, it can be mixed emotions also and having heart and mind to solve any problem that occurs in our lives. We can sometimes find it hard to deal things with even though we know what is the right thing to do. There can be people who can be hurt in everything we said or we do. We just have to deal with it. It just takes TIME.
@lrwwin (13)
• Hong Kong
11 Jul 11
I really accept "it's easy said than done". If something happen to others, you can keep yourself cool and analyze the situation for them. But if something happen to ourself, we will worry, we will feel anxious, or may be afraid. We can't cool ourself. So we can think clear and don't know how to do. That is why the people give advise but they don't do when they in same situation.
@Bannybanzie (1397)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
I get your point. If we're not in the situation, we are not that bothered. But if it happens to us, we get so rambled up in our head and cannot think clearly. Thanks.