How are you doing? What's your answer?
By viju0410
@viju0410 (2286)
India
July 18, 2011 3:29am CST
Hi friends,
While going home after a hectic day at work, i met a female colleague from our local office who was late for home that day. When exchanging the casual and usual hi, hello and added that she's looking too good in her traditional Indian dress - a sky blue colored Sari. My next question was how's she doing? Her answer actually puzzled me a bit and made me think about it too.
She replied me.... that she's having a bad time. At home there's some tiff with her husband so he's on strike i.e. not co-operating for domestic work like getting the grocery or vegetables, her son spending most of the time on TV rather than studies as the monthly tests are around and she's on her toes since the moment she gets up as early as 5.30 every morning - making breakfast for the kid, sending him off to school, prepare lunch for everyone(in-laws - its a joint Hindu family) at home and the workload has doubled at office as one of her support staff is on leave. The boss glances his watch and is ready to give her some last minute tasks which make her work late at times. She also added the Sari was a new one and none of her female colleagues/ friends has noticed that during the day.
She was thanking me as I was the only person who asked her how's doing on that day (that too in the evening) and listened to her inner answer. Her reply was least expected but I felt so happy that she was relaxed after she spoke to me. To make her calm I also told her to prepare the dinner which is her husband's favorite as there's a saying 'path to the man's heart is through his stomach'.
Thanks friends, and please tell me how many of you have answered from your heart or how many of you have asked others 'how they are doing from inside'?
Take care and be smiling!
Viju
4 responses
@inu1711 (5285)
• Romania
18 Jul 11
Hello Viju and welcome to myLot!
I usually answer with a short "pretty well" because I don't like to tell everybody about my problems. Nobody can help me solve them if I complain, so why would I share my worries with a half-stranger? Do you confess to anybody who ask you how are you doing?
The funny thing is the story of my "pretty well" answer. 
The common short answer for "How are you doing?" is "I'm fine" or "I'm OK".
But I can't answer like this because I had the most pedestrian idea of naming my dog Binne.
In my language, "bine" means OK, fine, well.
So if I answered "I'm fine, thanks", I would confuse my dog.
The common short answer for "How are you doing?" is "I'm fine" or "I'm OK".
But I can't answer like this because I had the most pedestrian idea of naming my dog Binne. In my language, "bine" means OK, fine, well.
So if I answered "I'm fine, thanks", I would confuse my dog.@viju0410 (2286)
• India
18 Jul 11
Thanks...
In fact this is the first kinda experience for me too as even I was not prepared to get such reply. As you rightly said why should we share our worries with a half-stranger, yes, I was happy and thoughtful not because she busted out her worries, but she confide in me. Do we really mean to ask anyone how are they doing with an intention to getting to know their worries?
@inu1711 (5285)
• Romania
18 Jul 11
Well, sometimes we are hypocrites when we ask somebody "how are you doing?". I think we ask this rather from politeness than because we really care. The fact that you listened to your colleague shows that you care. You gave her those few minutes of your life and this really mattered for her, I'm sure of that.
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
It must have felt good to be able to be a listener for this person, especially if she needed someone to talk to. Right now I'm not doing so hot in the office either. I don't have much domestic issues, just bills that i need to pay for, and unfortunately, we're up in our eyeballs in bills, and more bills. I know we'll be able to get through this, and it won't be so difficult. Sometimes I realize that I don't make time to go to church and pray, so I feel that this is of utmost importance right now and something needs to be done about it. Other than that, I know that my family and I will get out of this problem, because if you think about it, most people have worse problems than we do. We are still blessed of the gifts that we receive everyday and for that I am thankful.
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
19 Jul 11
I think you had a point there. Sometimes when our expectations are not answered we feel hurt. On that day she must have taken out all the day long frustration and she must have felt good with my casual query. I thought it was ok on that day. These days she talks to me often to say that she feels good when she talks to me. Is another friendship on air..... or may be she's thinking that another woman can understand her feelings and sentiments.
@AngelHope2011 (199)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I asked some people how they were doing and usually they would respond with some type of answer. Most of the time it's brief answer like fine or good.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
hello there! I personally don't like the question when being asked. It sounds impersonal for me. I mean, it is like, first, you would say hi and hello and it is like an automatic second question. Most who asks really doesn care how are you doing. I think it is just an impromptu second question..
