How do you feel about teenagers marrying?

@Awinds (2468)
United States
July 19, 2011 6:15pm CST
Some teens marry quite young - while in high school. Some of these young marriages turn out fine, but many end in divorce. So my question to you is, how do you feel about older kids marrying? What is the good and the bad? Do you feel it foolish or fine?
5 people like this
23 responses
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I believe teens should be teens and not try to play at being adults. It is true that there have been teens that have married and been happy, but i think that today, that is the exception and not the rule. Teens should have fun and enjoy that short time in their life when they make lifelong friends and begin to reach towards their dreams. I believe people should not get married until they have had the experiences in their lives that will influence the decisions they make that will end in their happiness.
1 person likes this
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Unfortunately, teens that don't have true dreams for their futures will settle for what may seem a dream life, love and family because that is all they aspire for. My daughter married when she was 20 and divorced at 22. In her case she was a little better prepared and just took up where she left off and finished college. I never even considered marriage until my 30s.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
It does seem that to get married early is to forsake life experience. You can't peruse what you want fully when you are "chained" to another half, at least not without pain. Marriage seems to come better after, as you have said, they have some experiences in their lives first.
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I feel sad, really.. about teens marrying. They failed to enjoy adolescence period. Good if they end up a fairytale-like love story of a happily ever after; but if not, quite sad.
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
22 Jul 11
That's a nice simple way of looking at that. I agree though, marrying early causes teens to miss out on certain things.
• United States
20 Jul 11
For me Marriage is Never good regardless of age. But I am not a teen. I think if two people Want to get married They should ge able to. The only thing that is needed is for both to be at least 18.
• United States
20 Jul 11
" Married off" Those are the key words. Here in the States it id up to the couple If they marry at all. There are many couples who Never marry and yet they remain together for the rest of their lives.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Actually in some states, if the parents consent, kids under eighteen can get married. I also know that some of the culture in the East and Africa still marrying off their daughters who may be as young as thirteen - or in more extreme cases even younger.
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I don't support forced arranged marriages - its cruel not to mention a violation of dignity. I'm curious - why are you so against marriage? :)
1 person likes this
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
20 Jul 11
I think it is too early for the teenagers to get married. No matter what, at this age they shall focus on the study. Everything will change after they grow up. Perhaps they think that they really love each other and need to get married. But one day they may meet someone who suits much more. It needs some time for people to be mature. If they love each other, they shall wait and get married when they grow up. As there are many important issues such as the work, children etc. will bother their relationship. It is not something that the teengers can solve well. I love China
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
20 Jul 11
Here the legal age to get married probably is 20 years old.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Do young teenagers marry in China? I know some do in the States, but I am completely ignorant on it when it comes to China. :) I agree though - most teens are not ready to handle real life responsibilities that come with adulthood and furthermore marriage.
1 person likes this
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
20 Jul 11
I think teenage marriage is fine and I'm ok with it. I would have married someone already if I had found someone worthy =D But yes like every other marriages, some teenage marriage do turn out bad. We had this senior sister in school who got married right after high school. She has a baby a year after and tells us she's very happy right now. So I guess it just depends on yourself, weather or not you can make things work.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I suppose it varies from individual to individual. Would you say all teens are ready for marriage or just some? :)
• South Korea
20 Jul 11
I don't really think all teens are ready for marriage. There are some who are and some who aren't, and some who think they are but really aren't.
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Teenage marriage is rampant nowadays. Some would last but mostly, they end up broken. In our country, most of the reasons why teenage marriage is rampant because the young girl would get pregnant. I think, if this is the case, I don't believe that having the kids get married will be the resolution. They're immature and knows nothing about life. They'll just end up arguing about certain things. I think, they must weigh things up before deciding to get hooked to each other. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. Everyone must think of it as a sacrament and not just an ordinary binding between two persons. Marriage must be respected. :)
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I agree - something with as much impact as marriage ought to be giving more thought and respect. Do you think marriage for teens might be kind of "trendy" today?
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
21 Jul 11
Trendy? Most definitely! :) Hehehe.. It's kinda like trendy in my country. Mostly, they ended up with unhappy marriage life and got more problems. Especially financial matters.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
My mother married at the very young age and still very much married to my dad. I guess it depends on each person(couples) Not only youngsters are having broken marriages nowadays but also those couples who are living for 10-20 years and even too old to consider divorce ..yet get divorce :( So,it's not about age. Thu young people now are rushing to get marry and separated after short time of living together.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
It is a bit of a disturbing trend. I suppose some can pull it off - but rushing is ALWAYS a bad idea...
• India
20 Jul 11
Well marrying of teens is actually not the issue but if they are too young then its a little problem, I think the teens who want to marry quickly should properly adjust them according the different situations say for example long distance relationship, testing patience and so on because once you are married such situations come in life that we are not capable to cope with them, and that leads to divorce and so on, what we really should do if teens want to marry soon they should understand each other from deep roots that is where it can help them, because seeing true colours of each other is the only key to marry soon.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
So you think somehow they should experience the strains of marriage before doing it to see if they can really handle it? :)
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
20 Jul 11
My thoughts on teen marrages are that they have a negative chance of making it. I feel that teens still have a lot of maturing to do, and what you like and love at an early age usually changes as you grow older and more mature. The things you want out of life change with age, so how can young people know what they will be like or what their partner will be like, or what they decide that they want out of life before they know what the world is like?
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
That is true - things change when the real world hits you especially. You can't make a lifetime choice at such an unstable age.
• United States
20 Jul 11
The problem with the concept of teen marriages being doomed to failure is a mistaken one, there are more than enough failed marriages that occurred at more chronological ages to prove this point. Why some marriages work and others don't is a question that has no answer. People change, some change more than their partner, some will be dissatisfied for their entire lives, some realize needs or desires after time has past. Biologically people are physically ready for mating at what we consider very young ages, mentally, they aren't, emotionally they aren't...fact is that often biology wins.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I suppose the drive is stronger than the brain...
20 Jul 11
I think the decision to get married shoud be based on how well a cule coulple get to know each other first and whther they have experienced things like living together. Kids who are going through their teenage years are often discovering there route in lfe, and gettnig married too soon can be distructuive in this effect. Also it is not neccasarily a goos thing for parents to go through if this ennds up in a rocky situatoion. I sm not sure of the stistics for failed marriges but I suspose it could b quote high. If you conider child birth in the equation as well this could be a real problem for responsibility and financial outgoings.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I read somewhere (I think it was at about.com) that the divorce rate for teen marriages is 70%...a big ouchie. As you point out, children make it even more complicated. And both the husband's and wife's family will suffer if the marriage fails. The young divorced couple probably don't have any one and will have to rely on relatives again for support.
@moneywinner (1864)
• Brazil
20 Jul 11
I think it's wrong, at least I wouldn't do that. But, I don't disapprove the young couples that do that. If they think that they found the right person, so, there are no problem to get married. But, I think that when you get married so young, you are not going to enjoy all the good things that life can offer.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
That's true! As a single you have a lot more freedom - your choices only affect and your responsibilities are only to yourself. Fast forward into marriage soon and you lose all of that without even experiencing it.
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
My and wife and I married when we were both in our mid-twenties, my wife younger by one year. So I guess that personally, one can say that I support a marriage done after teenage. But in the rural areas in the Philippines where there are limited opportunities, people tend to marry early. Mid-teens are normal ages of marriage, even younger. I have doubts about teenage marriages, but what can you do when there are no other forms of entertainment, boys and girls have stopped schooling and no prospects of jobs other than farming? I guess marriage may lend itself to farming efficiency hahahah... What I notice is that the guy works better and longer at the farm when he is married.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I forgot about that aspect - there may not be a choice depending on location and situation. :)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
I actually have a few friends or classmates who got married really young because of early pregnancy. I think it can't be answered as "good" or "bad" because it would really depend on people. Some couples can really work anything out, while some cannot and just give up. I've heard many couples who got married when they were teenagers but they're still happily married now and they're already celebrating their silver anniversary. It would differ on people's perspective. There are couples that no matter how hard the situation is, as long as they're together and happy, they conquer it all. :)
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
So you think the indivudal rather than age has more impact? :)
@abccba (1914)
• Denmark
20 Jul 11
I thing its kind of foolish to get married when you are still a teenager.its just too early to know if the relationship is gonna last. I think its better to wait until you are a little older, and know what you are going into. But i think its because a lot of them have a dream about the perfect family, with marriage, house and kids, and they don't wanna wait. But when you are just a teenager, a lot of things can change, and that's why i think its better to wait until your older.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
That's true. Also most teenagers I know can't afford a house and kids yet. :)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
i think it is not really good to marry at a very young age. marriage is something you should not rush into because it is a commitment of a lifetime. one should enjoy first the life of being single and free, so as not to lost the chance of being carefree. marriage comes with great responsibilities, that when one could not perform will would be most likely the same reason that would destroy marriage. emotional and financial stability is very important in building a family. when one person doesn't have these, a happy marriage life would be difficult to achieved.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
That's true - marriage steals the chance to experience freedom. It can cause one to yearn for what one has lost - which will lead to trouble in the marriage.
20 Jul 11
for me teenager still teenager, the way they think about something is different with mature(i don't have any mean to have any streotype view), first they don't use their logic and only use their heart and hear and heart, only heart.and that makes them so stupid, i think teenagers marrying is not good for now, it is bad. you don;t have any jobs to feed your chidlren later(unless you are justin beiber LOL).
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Very true! The heart is wonderful but the brain is the reality check! :)
@gelayagui98 (1336)
• Australia
20 Jul 11
Teenage marriage is the caused of many divorce, separations and the likes because they are not yet ready to face family responsibilities especially their family obligations. Sometimes they just carried away of their young emotions and aggressiveness they are into age of life explorations. The right age to get married is when both of you already finished education and have stable job to sustain the needs of the family and more matured to handle the consequences of married life.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I agree - something as big as marriage should not occur between adolescents. A teens hormones are still going, and they often don't have a "good" job much less life experience to make such a weighty choice with wisdom.
20 Jul 11
Personally I don't see the need for them to rush in to things so young. If they are truely in love then the relationship will last, with or without that piece of paper. I am in no way going to belittle a teenagers feelings saying that it won't last etc etc, as there are many teenage realtionships that last longer than those established as mature adults! But I do think to wait a while.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
If one really loves someone, they can wait for them. :)
• China
20 Jul 11
Idon't think it is wise to marry when they are still in their teenage. For one thing, the emotion is overpowering the retionality. So when they are in love they think that love is what they persue in their life, and they can see nothing but love for each other. On the other hand, they are too young to understand responsibility, love and the meaning of life. They experence too little and grow like flowers in a green house. What I want to say is that that love in teenage is very pure and valuable but that is not the resonable excuse for marriage in such a young age.
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
20 Jul 11
They love, but with no knowledge. It is like engaging in something without knowing all the facts and consequences first, eh? :)