What is wrong with professor-student affair?

@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
July 28, 2011 9:11am CST
There's a student who's apprehensive with her relationship with her professor. She said that the mom was surprised to know that she was her lover's student. I cannot understand the complication. I do think that as long as they love each other, there is nothing wrong with the affair. What do you think?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
I've seen a lot of these student teacher relationships when I was in college and they all seemed happy to me but on a personal level I don't it's proper for a teacher to enter into a relationship with his or her student because students normally look up to their teachers as their mentors and admiration comes with it especially if the teacher is good. This kind of admiration is interpreted as crushes or being in love with the teacher which comes to pass once the semester is over. A teacher on the other hand knows that his or her students are young and vulnerable and they could give in easily if you know how to make the right advances, if you pursue them that to me is exploitation. So for me, the student is in highs chool that's a no, no. If the student is in college, could be but they should not be in the same class and the student must be at least 18 years old.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
i have to agree that the student should be in college and at least 18 yrs old. high school students are very young to be involved, much more be involved in such a sensitive relationship. i have to say there are serious relationships between student and professor that are happening.
@vandana7 (98526)
• India
28 Jul 11
Traditionally, teacher has a fiduciary responsibility for the students, including the physical well being of the student. Therefore, if the teacher were were to take the students on some excursion, then he or she would be responsible for the physical safety of the students, irrespective of the fact that he or she was only a botany teacher and not a martial art teacher. The same thing has been extrapolated to the professor student relationship I guess. Since physical well being of the student is concerned, it becomes the professor's moral responsibility I guess. But it is out dated stuff I admit. However, it could lead to the professor being partial to one of the students. Perhaps that is the reason such thing is still not acceptable.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
there is always the question of why it would be immoral..
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
14 Aug 11
hi, jenith, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@Jenith (1381)
• Philippines
1 Aug 11
I think it's not that immoral it's just that it is prohibited in same school to avoid favoritism.
@LadyDulce (830)
• United States
28 Jul 11
It's an ethical thing, like any other relationship between a superior and inferior. It opens the door to accusations of favoritism and a lot of other nasties. Once she's no longer his student, then it's fine.
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
28 Jul 11
I agree with you. They will just hear a lot of criticisms not only from the students but also from the teachers and all the staff of the school. There are some school that prohibits this relationship and so whether the student is not a student of the professor still they can't have the relationship but if they are good in hiding then well and good but one of them or both of them might be kicked off from the school.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
if she is actually his student. what if she is not in his class? but i have to agree they could be subject to ridicule or criticism. i just could not understand why people would react like that. if it is not a very wide gap, things should be taken like any other relationship.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
30 Jul 11
bingskee, For a start, I am sure it is against school policy for such a relationship which has its merits which actually protects both parties. A teaching staff of any education institution has every responsibility over his charges or students and one of them is to prevent any personal relationship from developing with his students, irregardless if she is directly in his tutorial or not. Tongues wagging, gossips, slandering and even tabloids will just cause many unnecessary pressures which I do not have to mention affect her performance and most of all, grades. Also, there is definitely the conflict of interests clause to look into where there's really no assurance that the teaching staff involved will not act without prejudice or give preferential treatment to his romantic candidate. This is the other reason, why academic institutions have such a policy to keep all parties at bay. Whether both parties involved are genuine or not, I believe they need to exercise some form of control when they are in the same institution pursing their different goals. Even when the relationship is doing well, it does not give them the right to progress further and whats more when it goes south. On the hindsight, I am sure if their love is really TRUE for each other, then out of love they would not be actually condoning to any form of wrongdoing(s). There's a saying that true love will stand the test of time and I just cannot see how both parties can withhold their feelings while there are current responsibilities to fulfill and return back when both parties will not have any compromising or conflict of interest.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
i have to agree with the conflict of interests. why didnt i think of that? indeed true love can stand the test of time. glad to hear from you.
@swirlz (3136)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
Well we consider teachers as secondary parents. So if a teacher gets into a relationship with a student, it would seem like a parent getting in a relationship with his child. And it's unethical for all professions to get personal (in their workplaces or with their clients).
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
for young students like high school students, i guess it is not a comfortable idea. but in college where some professors only have a few years age gap (or a little more), relationships can bloom, whether or not there are principles of conduct that are considered correct for a given profession. these principles of conduct or ethics are defined also by people like us. thus said, some policies are subjective. and can be subjected to reviews, and not necessarily right all the time. though i think of it this way, i still think that everybody abides by the rules, policies, principles established in an institution. outside an institution, these individuals should be allowed to express their love to another.
1 person likes this
@sreesai (215)
• India
1 Aug 11
Hi bingskee, Some people call teacher as Guru, which means he is the one after mother and father, who enlightens the students knowledge and bless the student to live happily with attained knowledge and how can motherly/fatherly person be in relation with his own student(daughter/son)? I think this may be the reason for the mother to surprise.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
14 Aug 11
well, it sounds different them to me.. i do not see it this way.
• United States
28 Jul 11
I do not think there is necessarily anything wrong with it - if they are truly in love. However, the institution could have a policy against professors dating students. SHe would be in a big bind if they broke up - she would fail the class ! lol!
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
i do think, if there are policies, then they should abide. outside the school, they are not bound to it so why would it be wrong. you are right, the danger of failing is very possible when they break up.
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
If it is true love, I guess there's nothing wrong with it. I have a cousin who married her high school teacher. It was hard at first because she was just fresh in college and he got her pregnant, but, they've been together for more than ten years now, and have two kids. Eventually, my cousin finished her degree because he promised her dad he'd send her to school. But, complications arise when the professor is just taking advantage of his/her student, or in some cases actually blackmailing the student for a better/passing grade. In another instance, the professor may be sincere, but when the relationship gets sour, the other party could always say that the professor was taking advantage. So, I'm not really sure on my stand on this. One thing's for sure, though, of all stages of my schooling I've had teacher-crushes.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
i guess the situation centers on the professor or teacher in these situations. there would be nothing wrong if the intentions of both sides are sincere. but basically, it is just one of those relationships. i look at it as okay as long as they are outside the school premises. perhaps the necessity to make it a secret could help in a way. although if the school policies prohibit such a relationship, both the student and the professor is at risk.
@xuyxuy (432)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
As for me, as long as they are in love with each other, I don't think that there is wrong with their relationship. Everyone has the freedom to love anybody. As long as they don't bother or have caused pain to anybody else then there is really nothing wrong with their affair.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
i have the same mindset although we have to admit that there are certain restrictions and policies relating to the profession and the status of the student.
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
28 Jul 11
Girl student - Professor -- lover of mom of girl student - mom -- no complication as long as the girl student is not loving the Professor. Let the relationship be that of student and professor. Mom would have been surprised to know the person who she loved is now professor of her daughter Possibly mom would have loved many people before deciding on her partner?