My ex boyfriend / cousin...
By jemzchix
@jemzchix (116)
Philippines
August 2, 2011 4:47am CST
One of the relationships that I can't forget was with my 4th degree cousin who became my boyfriend. we dated for six months... here in the philippines, many of the elderly would disagree of the kind of relationship because we are related by blood.. but we still tried it anyway. after 6 months, we just decided to remain as cousins, as obedience to our elders.. but we somehow treat each other like the way we used to be when we were still dating... some people even think we're still dating, when we have actually ended it 2 years ago... some say we should stop what we're doing, but hey, we're not doing anything,.. we're just being friends and cousins at the same time.. some say what we're doing is wrong.. but, is there really something wrong??? and also, would there be any complication if you got involved or date a 4th degree cousin???
1 person likes this
15 responses
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
THIS IS DEMOCRACY against freaking old traditions!
I think there's nothing wrong with it i mean even second cousins gets married not to mention our catholic church mentioned that only first cousins that are not ALLOWED to married.
I think there's nothing wrong with it i mean even second cousins gets married not to mention our catholic church mentioned that only first cousins that are not ALLOWED to married.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
check the comment i just GAVE on you're first responder that you the Best Response to
@minomarimat (372)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
hmm. That's quite a situation you've got. Thing is, that kind of relationship is "immorally wrong" (apologies for the redundancy) in our culture (yeah I'm a Filipino too), we can't blame our elders for that. But with respect to your emotions, there's no stopping it, right? But then again, you still have to consider reality as a big factor. Would you really want a relative to define 50% of your being?
@jemzchix (116)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
hey, i'm not trying to give the impression that we're still dating.. i think we just got used to treating ourselves the way we did before because even after our break up, our bond as "cousins" became stronger... that's on my point of view... but no, i don't want to have a relative to be my future partner... haha. but is a 4th degree considerable??? maybe this might also help others out there who are in-love with their cousins... ;)
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
HELLO! President's Son Mikey Arroyo Married his Cousin Ma. Angela Montenegro! Forget the elders! there going to die anyways
I have seen a documentary whereas cousins did get married and have children they didn't have any freaking diseases!
So, if some one says it's wrong tell them they should tell that first to congressman MIKEY! otherwise, his marriage to his cousin means you can all also do it.
as far as i remember royal families did marry their cousins in the past. we are so judgemental and not to mention we live in a christian country that most people tend to be too hypocrite
not a referral link. take note they were second cousins!
http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=143218
I have seen a documentary whereas cousins did get married and have children they didn't have any freaking diseases!
So, if some one says it's wrong tell them they should tell that first to congressman MIKEY! otherwise, his marriage to his cousin means you can all also do it.
as far as i remember royal families did marry their cousins in the past. we are so judgemental and not to mention we live in a christian country that most people tend to be too hypocrite
not a referral link. take note they were second cousins!
http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=143218
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
2 Aug 11
Yes I love my 1st degree cousin but since then we never meet again. I still think of him once in a blue moon but that's over and passed. I will never be that naive again.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
For me yes you are big mistake of all many man in this world you are get involve your relatives so ewe.
@Ghajini (776)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
If it was first or second degree cousin, it would be a serious issue :). My aunt is married to her 3rd degree cousin and her children are normal.
I think old people are just over reacting sometimes, because you'll never if your current gf or bf is your cousin to the 100th degree :).
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
you did the right thing to end the relationship on its early stage. if u decided
to go on together, it will not be an easy road to stand against everybody. especially it may put both of your
families against each other... now that u both know there's nothing between you two, i think you shouldnt be affected. theres nothing wrong with still being friends.
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
Hi jemzchix! In my opinion, having a relationship with you 4th degree cousin is okay, it is not something that should be judged as wrong. However our elders might think differently about this situation. Whether he is a 8th degree cousin, a relative is still a relative. If you believe that you are not doing anything wrong, don't be bothered with everything the elder says. Just explain to them that you are not in a relationship with your cousin in a respectful way.
@jemzchix (116)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
yeah, actually, that's what i kept on telling them over and over again.. but they just don't get it... they really want their judgment against us to be right.. and it kinda affects our friendship, because even though we try to ignore them, they seem to grow even more insistent on breaking our bond..
@beingwell (3625)
• Thailand
3 Aug 11
Hi my dear! Wow, that's some story! Though, it's not a very unusual love story. I have some cousins who (I don't know how) fell in love with their 3rd-5th degree cousins, as well. For me, it's looks odd since you guys are technically relatives. But then again, the people in the olden times marry and have kids with their own relatives too.
So I guess, it's not such a social scandal.
However, when it comes to the genes of your children, I'm not sure if you'd have issues there. You'd have to consult a doctor before finally deciding to go to the next level.
So I guess, it's not such a social scandal.
However, when it comes to the genes of your children, I'm not sure if you'd have issues there. You'd have to consult a doctor before finally deciding to go to the next level.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
I have a cousin who married her cousin of 1st degree. They now have 5 children. But they cannot be married in church and that's what makes them guilty of what they did. Also, as the children were born, they fear that it may have a defect in any way. And now that they are all grown up, they still are anxious that someday they might manifest some freaky mind.
Well, it's nice that you have finally broken up with your 4th degree cousin. Make sure that you will never fall for him again, lest all your relatives will think bad of the both of you.
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Hmmmm.. I think, you did what is right when you decided to just stay as cousins. It's not good. You should stop whatever you felt for that guy. I would not date any of my blood related cousins. :) Even if it's in the 4th degree already. :) Find another man. I'm sure there are others out there. :)
@meriel (101)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
i think 2nd to 3rd degree is not allowed. but for "delikadesa" sake you should end whatever you had with your cousin specifically boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. because whatever you say even if you are on the 6th or 10th degree you are still blood related to each other. and our society would not tolerate that kind of relationship if you end up together in the future your children will face those condemn and my suffer.
@cow_boy29 (236)
• United States
3 Aug 11
you must give them good reason that you are bot not do wrong you are just friend. give them reason, make them believe you. keep spirit body
@Mc_mandy (32)
• India
3 Aug 11
Well dear i am from India and it has some sort of similar conservative society as yours and i know what you feel. Dating a cousin is a big matter and is condemned by the elders . But you don`t need to date a cousin there would definitely be problems not exactly complications but because you share blood therefore you share some genes and it is always suggest to mate with different genes im sorry i can`t remember the right word for it but if u mate between same genes most of the good characteristics are lost so it is advisable that if you have stopped dating him then just let it be. hope this was helpful
@flowerfest08 (1677)
•
2 Aug 11
I'm from philippines too and for what i know in our culture we cannot have that kind of relationships in anyone which we have blood relations. maybe it's better if you just distance yourself from him because until your elders could see that you treated each other in some special way even if nothings really between the both of you, you can't blame them to think that way because they know before that you two are dating.
