i can't really help it..
By airasheila
@airasheila (5454)
Philippines
August 7, 2011 10:11am CST
good day dear fellow mylotters,
it is indeed really hard to be the eldest. since we are all living under one roof, there were times, that some decisions which being done by my siblings were somehow inaccurate. thus, whenever i see them having this inaccurate decisions, i always lend my hand for them. as i always want to be kind. as i dont want to see them be under pressure. as, this attitude has been implant inside my heart, that is to be kind and i can't really help it since this is really me.
but, as i lay my hands and giving assistance for them, it seems that they are not that sensitive enough to show me the appreciation. that, they do not care at all if they hurted me or not. and when they are talking to me, they dont sometimes think if they are doing it rudely. as a result, i feel so much pain. that there are times, i just end up in crying.
7 responses
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
7 Aug 11
airasheila--I can imagine ur plight. Being the eldest u help them without expecting any recognition or thanks from them. Difference of opinion among siblings arises due to difference in status obtained in life -- rich always feels that he is being taken for a ride. The poor sibling feels he is neglected. This will continue. Go to church and pray fully. u will be relieved.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
7 Aug 11
hi there ravisivan,
being the eldest, i am not expecting any return from them. i really just want at least a little feeling of sensitivity. and i am really raising this unto my prayers, that, somehow, i can have and get that.
@ravisivan (14082)
• India
7 Aug 11
aira-Super-- u are taking right approach of praying to God Almighty-- these issues are bound to be there with us till we are there and even after that.
@strawberrychocodahi (4817)
• Philippines
8 Aug 11
Hi Airasheila, I know its a responsibility once your the eldest, you really carry that burden but did you talk to your siblings or to your family about this. Relationship in the family should be transparent particularly in communication and you should be honest to them and let them know how you feel, not just keep it to yourself and cry because you are the only one who will suffer if your like martyr.
Feel free to talk things over with your family. If you truly love each other, you will also help each other, not just only one person who is rowing the boat in order for the boat to move.
@GemmaR (8517)
•
7 Aug 11
I think that being the eldest sibling in a family is very hard, as you're always expected to be more grown up than them. Because I am the eldest, I have always been expected to help more around the house than my brother, except he is now 15 and doesn't lift a finger. The most he does is occasionally dries the dishes after I've washed them; and even then my Mother has to nag at him in order for him to make the effort and actually do them. As the older sibling I am expected to do more without questioning it, and I am wondering whether it is fair that he gets to just sit back, relax, and do nothing at all.
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
8 Aug 11
Hello there! We have almost the same plight! I am also the eldest but we live apart. But I am always there for them. I am always under pressure. I am the only one always on call to my parents. During Christmas and other occassions, I was the one who contact them to come. I even pick them at their house! Imagine me from province, about 240kilometers from the city. I drive from my place to them one by one to pick them up during occassions. Imagine how tired I am. When problems arise, I am always for them, but in times that I was sick or are having problems, they are not there for me. I just need a family to pat on my shoulder and listen. I also cry when I remember this.. What a family I have. They are sensitive to my feelings.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
7 Aug 11
Being the eldest, people might expect that you understand better. Having siblings who sometimes treat you rudely, maybe they are not aware of it. You can let them know how you feel. You can tell them you are doing everything to help them, tell them you need some respect. You should not tolerate that otherwise it will get worse. But in spite everything, you are still lucky you have siblings... I wish I have mine too.
@jazzyrae (1745)
• United States
7 Aug 11
i am the oldest of 5 kids and we all lived in the same house. i had a part time job and i would help my sister with money for school trips and stuff and she always told me what a terrible sister i was. we never resolved this issue unfortanitly :( just be the best sibbling you can be and you will know you are doing right.
@prosperity1027 (199)
•
7 Aug 11
Hi airasheila,
I admire you for being kind to your siblings. Yes, it is hard to be an eldest in the family because responsibility to care for the younger ones is put upon your shoulders. That is also what the parents want you to do.
Being the eldest, give yourself a break also. Take a vacation once in a while so that you can relax and rest your tired mind and body. When you come back and perform your duties again in the family, start to raise your concerns about your siblings behavior towards you. For once, teach them to make decisions for themselves, encourage them to be self-reliant and take initiative in doing household chores. Establish a two-way communication process between you and your siblings. Be an authority, show some control also.
