How do you burst out when you're angry?

Stupid when angry - It's funny how stupid we are when we're angry.
@sais06 (1284)
Philippines
August 15, 2011 1:53am CST
Most of the time I’d feel like punching or throwing something whenever I burst out but of course I wouldn’t want to do that because I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody, so I usually just end up hurting myself by punching hard a wall. After that I would laugh at myself realizing how stupid I was for doing that. Have you done something stupid like this when your very angry and already bursted out?
2 people like this
25 responses
• United States
16 Aug 11
Depends on how angry I am. I do try to give my family a heads up and let them know that I am not in the best of moods. If it's not their fault, why take it out on them? They're pretty good at giving me space and I do appreciate it.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I do appreciate your family as well for giving you some space to let yourself cool off first. Sometimes even if it’s someone else’s fault, we should not always resort to doing something that might hurt both of ourselves.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
20 Aug 11
I think everyone must find their way of channeling anger without harming or hurting anybody - even our selves.
• United States
16 Aug 11
Very true...as a human race we need to channel our anger better than taking it out on others who had nothing to do with it.
@derek_a (10874)
16 Aug 11
Anger is just an energy and if I look at the experience of this energy, it is very much like any other sort of energy - for instance, with excitement at sometthing really great, the feelings are the same as anger. Our heart will race and perhaps our rate of breathing increase. The only difference that we may notice is that it is our opinion that changes. We dislike something intensely rather than really loving it. I have been practising meditation for many years now, and where I used to get angry I find now that I am just seeing an energy that comes and goes as I detach my emotions from things that at one time, would really excite me. It takes time though, and a person needs to be willing to set out on this sort of path in life. _Derek
1 person likes this
@derek_a (10874)
18 Aug 11
Thank you for responding my friend... Detachment is the way of Zen practice. It is not a practice that everyone takes on because at first many find it disturbing or fearful to become detached. But it is not in the least boring. In fact I haven't felt bored for many years, as I am detached from that also.. Zen life is about connecting with whatever comes along in life, and then moving on towards enlightenment. _Derek
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@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
20 Aug 11
The thing that I've understood from what you have said is that you can detach yourself from your emotions or your past, and you can connect yourself into the future, right.? Well, just correct me if I'm wrong here. I'm just curious as well as to how you enjoy yourselves and have fun without those emotions? Isn't it that we can appreciate life more because of those? I want to know what happens next after enlightenment?
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@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
The intensity of feeling anger is the same as that when we’re excited but the difference is that we feel good when we’re excited or happy and the opposite when we feel angry. You said that you detach your emotions from things that would excite you; I couldn't actually imagine myself being that way. I fear that I’ll find it boring though because what would life be if without excitement?
1 person likes this
@sagnik42 (3592)
• India
15 Aug 11
That is kind of silly. When I am burst out, I react differently each time, depending upon the situation. I do not get angry very easily and can stay calm very easily. When I get angry I usually go very quiet and don't talk to anybody. But when I do burst out sometimes, it is best to put your fingers in your ears because I shout a lot.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I guess we should let it come off time by time because if we keep it very long then it will just pile up to one another that it’s already too heavy when we burst out. I wonder what you’re shouting at those times?
@sagnik42 (3592)
• India
16 Aug 11
Oh, this and that..!!! Nothing that would strike your fancy, I am sure.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I’m curious if what the people did who are around you that time? What do you usually do after you shout? Does it give you some kind of relief that you let it all out? I just wonder because I haven't done it before.
• Canada
16 Aug 11
I have tend to be really quiet and just pretty much ignore everything when I get angry. With that said, I don't believe I have ever been angry enough to consider myself angry in how people in normal society considers what is angry. Ha ha, hope that made sense. To be honest, I don't even know what can really make me angry. I never been emotionally attached to anything or any idea to get really angry. I've however been really frustrated or stressed, but that is because of work etc. Which then I result to sleeping lol.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Yeah I can get your point there. But how can you just let things be even if someone or something is already out of order? I’m not just very sure if they are that humble enough to just accept things that are happening.
• Canada
16 Aug 11
I'm not sure how I let things slide either, perhaps I've been the type to rarely stress over things that already has occurred, I mean you can't really change it anymore right. For example, If I am travelling, and I am past the midway point of my destination, and it occurred to me that I may have forgotten something, I am not going to rush to my bag and check, because since I am pass the midway point, if I did forget it, I can change that, so I'll just check when I arrive. I guess I am way to laid back lol.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Wow, I hope I could be that way too. Seems like you're saving a lot of energy for not wasting your time complaining or arguing about something that you knew you can't already change. I hope I'll also be able to live that kind of philosophy. We might say that you're some kind of laid back but I believe that it's effective.
15 Aug 11
I have anger issues. I scream,yell,cry and hurt myself by punching a wall or scraging my knuckles against a wall because I don't want to hurt anyone. I also say some really mean things. I don't mean them. I learnt the hard way by getting angry at my boyfriend at the weekend :( My boyfriend says some really nasty stuff & trashes things when he's angry.
1 person likes this
15 Aug 11
I don't usually self harm, but i felt so hurt at the weekend from what my boyfriend said that it kind of over whelmed me. Sometimes when I'm mad i just fall asleep or not talk & turn my music up...
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
You must already both learn to talk to each other without hurting each others feeling. Issues like this cannot be settled in just one sitting but requires some time for both of you to learn to listen to each other. You must clarify things with each other. If you really love each other then that should prevail instead of the anger you are both feeling.
15 Aug 11
I once got really angry and started punching my punchbag so hard that the punchbag broke and I had stuffing from it all over the floor. Then I just sat down and cried a lot. The person I was angry with didn't even know I was cross with them.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I wonder how recent this thing happened. I would think what that person has done to you is really that bad seeing how you reacted with the situation. Why wouldn’t you try to talk to him? If he doesn’t know it then most probably that it wasn’t intentional. There were time I want to cry but many times tears won't just fall and it feels so badly inside. Crying it out is one good way to just let it out.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I’ve met some persons who are also like that. It’s difficult for them to understand and I’ll say they are really immature people. It's really hard to talk to those kinds of people because they'll never understand. Maybe he already learned his lesson (let’s just hope though). It's good to hear that you're fine now and that you've already gotten rid of him.
16 Aug 11
It happened about 3 and a half years ago and so I'm OK now. And as for the individual concerned I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't have it or see what he was doing - and yet wouldn't leave me alone a lot of the time either. He'd been nasty to other people before me so it must be a bad pattern for him. I don't see him at all anymore - he got bored and I don't know what he is doing. It was horrible at the time though.
@canxnac (421)
• Indonesia
16 Aug 11
I do stupid things whenever I get angry. Once I stabbed my brother's leg with a sharpened pencil because he annoyed me so much lol but that was years ago when I was still a kid. I know things that really get on my nerves and try to avoid them, because I hate being angry.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I assume that your brother didn’t get any infection because of that. As I’ve mentioned above that we should not do anything that is harmful to both of us whenever we’re angered. Avoiding them everytime we’re annoyed might just be best for us and most especially for them.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
16 Aug 11
Nope I have never punched anything I know that it would hurt. On the other hand my husband has done it a few times over the 25 years I have known him, he shattered his wrist when he punched our front door once which was actually metal underneath the paint. The most I do when I am really angry is slam cabinet doors, and stomp around. Then if I am really angry I might just get in my car and drive around for a little while until I calm down.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Driving? I guess I won’t try it again in my case whenever I’ll get angry because I might end up as well hitting somebody else or getting wrecked. I’ve had several experiences as well driving while I’m mad that I’ll just go as fast as I can. Usually other drivers cannot just simply overtake me but would go on for a challenge to race. Those times I tend to drive recklessly which I would later on realize that could have caused my life. I guess I've kept on punching walls or something because I haven't yet shattered my wrist.
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Hi. When I'm angry it's obvious and you can just see from my face that you don't wanna be messing with me. Usually, for me to vent it I just do an intense exercise then I'm okay.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Exercising to vent out? That was new to me. How many equipments have you broken already? I hope your answer is none. Maybe it’s a nice way as well to release our anger because our body is involved to some strenuous activity. This way our attention is also diverted towards something so we can’t think much about it.
@SIMPLYD (90727)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
I burst out just a few months ago when my officemate provoked me. I pointed my finger on her during the duration of my rant to her, with everybody in the office hearing it out. I was really trembling with anger ! Good thing, i still controlled myself from pulling her hair! When we were investigated about it, they found out that i did that because i was provoked. Now, we are friends again.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Good thing it didn’t turned out into a riot. She should be lucky after all because you just pointed pointed and didn’t lift any finger on her. I guess you should not let yourself get provoked by someone else again because you'll never what you might do next time. Trembling with anger is a very intense anger and you might end up getting smokes coming out of your ear. :P
@SIMPLYD (90727)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
She has been taunting me, and calling me names for other to hear, every time she passes by my cubicle. The last one was too much for me, so i went to her table and did just that. She was stupefied and just cried after.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Well I wouldn't have let that pass as well if someone would be calling me by names. It's one of the things I also hate the most. I guess it's good sometimes to give them some lesson.
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
15 Aug 11
I have the tendency to break stuffs when I'm angry I don't like that at all but I do that! I break whatever is in front of me and throw them too. But I have to be really angry to do that hehe! Once I almost broke my gameboy so coz I couldn't get throught the game. I learned it wasn't healthy for me to be that angry coz of a game so I have stopped playing it for many years not Anyway wow punching the wall must hurt. There was this guy in school who punched in a wall and actually broke his bones and had to wear a cast. Don't punch walls, it's dangerous and painful
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
I imagine how disastrous it would be to be around you when are angry. It wasn't really healthy for both of us - you broke your stuff, I broke my bones. It's would be very costly for us if we do it often. :D
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
20 Aug 11
The losses on our part will be unbearable if this continues for a long time.
• South Korea
15 Aug 11
Haha so true. We might be broke if this keeps on going. I have to stop breaking my things and you your bones hehe Thanks
@kaizer22x (145)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
How do i burst out when i'm angry? I have a very long patience but some of my friends or neighbors are teasing me and wanted me to be angry but i am not listening to what they are talking, just to avoid fighting. Unfortunately i got this weird feeling that suddenly when i am really angry i felt my sight became dim and my body voluntarily do something, it seems that it want to hurt someone. After that, i will realized what i did is wrong but sometimes i guess it is needed just to make my friends or neighbors to stop teasing me.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Violence most of the time is not the best way to settle things. They might stop teasing you but you might end up being hated even more by your neighbors. If it was a friend, then probably he was just playing some practical jokes on you so you might as well tell him that you don't feel comfortable with it. Having the tendency of doing that when you're angry can really be dangerous.
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
It seems that I mess up with uploading this image here. This shouldn’t be here so I’ll have it removed instead.
25 Aug 11
Actually I want to punch something(pillows,stuff toys, etc.)when I was angry. Because I want to pour it out on that thing. But if the person that makes me angry is in front of me I can't really resist but to pinch/punch him/her. After that it will really make me calm and it did happen to me so many times already.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
27 Aug 11
Yes I see that most people are like that. Maybe it's good for us as well to pour out the negative feelings that we have so that it won't pollute us inside. I guess you should prefer to burst it out on your pillow or other things because it will just bring more negative things if we hurt anybody even ourselves.
@maria118 (27)
• China
16 Aug 11
I will throw anything I can get that time.While I will choose the cheapest one to throw out haha
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
You said you choose the cheapest so I would like to ask if what has been the most expensive thing you’ve broken so far? You could be unlucky enough if the things you’ve thrown bounced back at you because I already have one embarrassing experience like this one.
@Fireheart (683)
• India
15 Aug 11
Easy way to control anger is to break something that is transferring all your anger to something that is in your way or simply divert to some non living things thats what i do, instead of doing onto people that tend to hurt their emotions, i heard that anger can decrease level of intelligence in a person, and that is not like to be me, anger a state of rise in blood pressure is also not good for your health, all that kept in mind its better to release something destructive onto some non living like breaking things is good just keep in mind that its not priceless.
1 person likes this
@vycess (1588)
• Saudi Arabia
15 Aug 11
I can related to that. I have than that before when I was in highschool I punch a wall because I feel angry. Now, I don't do that anymore... I usually cry and rant to friends what was wrong and why I'm angry. When we are angry, being stupid is just normal, because we don't really much think normally? hehehe...
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
It might be that it's normal that we are stupid when we are angry but it's not normal being stupid. It's normal too to get angry but we must avoid as much as possible to do things which are inappropriate. There were times I would still hit the wall if I cannot contain it anymore but I'm learning now how to manage it.
@watergirl (567)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Times like this, a stress all is very helpful. If I don't have one handy, I just grab a sheet of paper and tear it to pieces. Just make sure to shred an unimportant sheet of paper though. I've torn an important document in rage...
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@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
I wonder if you have done that mistake twice. I guess that you’d prefer tearing off your clothes now rather than papers.
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
When I am angry I try to keep my mouth shut. I realized that when I am angry I tend to say hurtful words that I usually regret afterwards. I try to be alone for awhile to suppress this intense feeling I am having and take deep breaths. I try to calm myself for when I am calm I can think more rational and not let my feelings get over me.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Words tend to hurt more than physical violence because it pierces deeper into our being. It’s not the flesh that it is tearing but the whole being of a person. I never tried nor dared to do that whenever I’m angry. I would prefer breaking stuff because things can be replaced and it’s also because we cannot simply take back what we’ve already said. Words that hurt our being tends to heal longer than physical wound. It’s good for you that you can already calm yourself whenever you’re angry.
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Personally, i prefer bursting out vocally, I usually shout in a pillow so that there will be no one to hear me.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
Yeah there were times I want to shout but I don’t want to end up getting embarrassed. I might as well consider doing that shouting in a pillow. I’ve tried shouting before with a pail of water but I almost got drowned so I never did it again. I really felt so ashamed of myself that time. I guess it would be better to just shout than to say hurtful words.
• United States
15 Aug 11
yeah I've definitely done that before. always to myself with no one around to see it. I punched walls and kicked furniture and things like that. I keep things bottled in now a days for the most part which I know isn't good. I'm better off punching and kicking objects lol. I think that can be a healthy release depending on how badly your kicking the wall and not hurting yourself or anyone else. Compared to other people's coping ways with cutting and things like that it sounds very healthy.
1 person likes this
@sais06 (1284)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
Yeah it could be healthy because we can release the tension that's weighing on us but it should also be in a controlled manner. There are those who just let it off and go uncontrolled because we can't say that it's healthy for us if we end up hurting ourselves. I haven't kicked anything yet when I'm angry but I've done throwing things and breaking stuff.