Online dating and not driving.

@tech2d (338)
United States
August 22, 2011 9:55pm CST
I have just began trying online dating. So far I have not had much success. The first date told me "If I was a man I would buy a car" because I use public transportation. The second date, after going out with me twice, disappeared. I called her to ask what was going on and was told "I just got out of a relationship and I am not ready to get involved into another". The third hit it off on conversation until, once again, she discovered that I didn't drive. She promptly told me " I can't see myself dating someone who does not drive". What is going on here? The reason I don't drive is to save money and the environment. It sure is a date killer though. Any ideas from the mylotters out there?
4 people like this
9 responses
• United States
23 Aug 11
I knew a woman one time that didn't have a car, so her boyfriend, (a friend of ours) bought her a used car and fixed it for her so she could drive to and from work without having to depend on someone, her response "I am not driving a car that the radio doesn't work in it!".... hang in there you will find the right one.
2 people like this
• United States
24 Aug 11
No, he fixed the radio for her! I could not stand her and was very happy when they split up! To me, she made it very clear that what she most liked about him was his money!
@tech2d (338)
• United States
24 Aug 11
Wow! What do say to someone like that? Perhaps "Well I'll take the car and use it for myself!"
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
23 Aug 11
I am a woman and I see nothing wrong with you using public transportation. It just means you have a larger savings account and your carbon footprint is smaller than average. Hey, you are helping to cut down on air pollution! However not all woman see it is this way. Let's face it: dedicated tree hugger is not the in. Also, I suppose in the eyes of some women you not driving makes you look like a low class cheapskate. It's harsh, but it's reality. Hang in there though - you will find the one! :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
23 Aug 11
Yes, Awinds is right. Those women you have met are materialistic ones. They just care about your money and they associate it with you driving a car. Don't worry, its good thing that you have known early what those girls are really looking for. You will eventually find the right one for you. :)
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2468)
• United States
23 Aug 11
ThrillerAssassin has added a very good point. I am sure you would not want to be with someone who was more interested in your pocketbook than you yourself! :)
1 person likes this
@tech2d (338)
• United States
24 Aug 11
Awinds and Thriller Assassin are right. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone is after my money, (what money?) I have chosen to take my time on the dating thing and slow my pace down. I thank all of you for your positive comments!
@GardenGerty (158949)
• United States
23 Aug 11
Keep looking. I think we are all telling you that. Maybe you should tell people straight off that you do not drive. You probably know all about public transport, though, and that is a real skill as well. I think we are all trying to keep you encouraged here. I would agree that it is better to be rid of the materialistic girls sooner. I met my husband through a country singles newspaper, fifteen years ago. I am also going to say "Welcome to MyLot" and encourage your involvement here and encourage you to make friends on the site.
• Philippines
23 Aug 11
Chicks dig cars! Yes, to some extent it affects some woman regarding the status of a man they are dating. Of course, women needs security and a financially able guy can just be out there. But I think this are just first impressions and having the disadvantage of giving out a first impression by not having a ride, you must work out on the things that you have. Humor and a healthy personality can intervene with the car owning thing. You just have to show her that your personality is larger than the car she's digging. If you can do that then you got her even without the car. You just have to make them realize that there are more better things in you than a materialistic car. Just keep on trying. You'll find that girl for you which is not shallow and materialistic.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 11
Love will find you, so do not fear! also, the ones who would only like you if you owned a car...they aren't worth your time, just keep trying eventually you will find someone that can appreciate and love you as you are. Another thing, on-line dating is a good way to meet other people but perhaps you can meet someone better in another way? like having a friend introduce you some girls, or something like that. I'm not saying that on-line dating doesn't work, I met my girlfriend on-line, although I never thought she would become my girlfriend, and I wasn't looking for that, she was just a friend. Anyway the point is, it does work if you can find the right person for you, Good luck in the future.
1 person likes this
23 Aug 11
I hate to say this but online dating can be a massive con. You never know the sort of debt you could be tangling yourself into. Theres no crime in public transport. It doesn't matter whether your a man or a woman, if your partner threatens to end a relationship because you don't have a car, then in my opinion, either that person needs to get out more and come back to the 21st century on planet earth or they are just conning money and expensive gifts out of you. If you want to save money and the environment then good on you. There's no need to change that because people will only date you for your car, it's not worth it. My overal advise would be to date someone you know, a close friend even (if your keen on them that is), maybe someone you met at school or university but never rest your case and settle relationships with online dating sites. You will end up in tears time and time again. Date someone you know who shares the same interests as you, this way you'll know from the start whether she's the woman for you. Like a say, the chances are, that she probably gets the train everywhere anyway. Hope you find this information useful.
1 person likes this
@tech2d (338)
• United States
24 Aug 11
I thank you for the information! I however, justed moved to this town and I am slow at making friends. I would not have even tried online dating if my son hadn't suggested it. I might also add that I am a 51 year old man so my college days are WAY behind me!
1 person likes this
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
23 Aug 11
I'm going to say...when i lived in the city it made sense not to have a car and i didnt see a problem with someone else not having a car either...theres buses, cabs etc. However living out in the country now...I would be VERY puzzled if a guy also living out here didnt have a mode of transportation. Would make me wonder if they were loners..dont like the company of others OR if they tend to be much to dependant on others. I myself would HATE being stuck out on the farm with no way to get to town to the hospital if needed or be dependant on someone else to take me to work..for groceries and all that.
@saundyl (9783)
• Canada
27 Aug 11
then people are just being silly! No need for a car when theres public transport. I had a friend in university that didnt drive. He took the bus everywhere which made going places kind of an adventure for me.
@tech2d (338)
• United States
24 Aug 11
Yeah...you're right. If I lived in a rural area and had no transportation, THAT would look odd. I however, live in a major city.
1 person likes this
@nezavisima (7408)
• Bulgaria
23 Aug 11
Hello! these first online dating is a little deceptive. Why? because many people were present for what not to yl what they want to they do not give very accurate information about yourself. I am also a wife and seshto see nothing wrong with public buses why we should have all cars. But this way of thinking clearly and proof. I advise you better coffee and relax there, meet people around you, so will at least see their faces during a conversation and can make new friends. Good luck and nice day!
1 person likes this
@varier (5685)
• Indonesia
23 Aug 11
Wasn't it mean: she didn't want your love, she just wanted your wealthiness? I guess you just have to move on. There's nothing wrong with "not driving." It is just her personal problem
1 person likes this