Marrying so they won't leave?

I guess the most people would think a little harder before walking out on a marriage than a casual relationship, but I think that once you live together and share your lives (and particularly your children), then you are as good as married anyway. I know very well how easy it is to walk out on a marriage. Sometimes it takes more time and effort to dispose of the property than it does to dissolve the legal union.

If you don't marry your sweetheart, others think he/she is free and therefore available for marriage. Then you better get married and, in the process, invite us to the wedding.

There is no permanency in this world. Everything comes with an expiry date and even marriage for that matter do come apart when love flies out through the windows. It is love love love in the beginning but once one sign on the dotted lines to qualify for the married status everything seems to change. Slowly the foundation of marriage starts to crumble when individuals start to show their true colors and incompatibility begin to tear apart the love that supposedly bring two unknown people together under one roof. Marriage is not a bullet proof shield for everlasting love. It might instead be a curse to some people.

Yes i believe what you said there is no assurance of being married that you can hold your partner at all. If we used the ring or contract of marriage to hold him i am not sure it will do 100 percent guaranty but it should and not all are with the same thinking about this matter. The only thing that i know to hold them tight is the love and communications always. I am sad to think that i am not in this stage of love... coz i feel that i am still in this category but very uncomfortable to my age.. anyway love doesn't required age,, Just keep on communicating and loving your love one and for sure you can hold him,,,

yeah..i know what u mean.. i ever too myself have this kinda thinking..u know..marry so that your partner wont leave ya.. it might work sometimes in a very conservative marriages..sometime no.. it like getting a girl pregnant ..so u get to tell that the best thing to do is get married.. just my 1 cent mylot opinion..bla bla

Well I can agree with you. That if someone would like to leave relationship so married or unmarried this person will leave. I would never marry anyone just to "secure" relationship. No relationship is secure without commitment and true love.

well it's obviously the wrong reason to marry. a marriage doesn't change the relationship. it doesn't create a bond where there was none before. it's a celebration and commitment to continue with what you ALREADY HAVE. not the creation of a new and stronger relationship. if you don't already have a fully functioning and committed marriage, then a wedding is pointless. that's how I've always seen it. we had the wedding to celebrate the marriage we'd built between us over the past decade.

In my opnion, this will only lead to problems later in the relationship. Different cutlures have different values, but I believe that if I am going to marry, I will need to have the right partner and be happy in my relationship. I don't believe that you can make anybody stay, and then on top of that make them love you.. Love has to be spontanous and that way it will grow as the relationship grows. _Derek

this has got to be the worst reason to get married that i've ever heard! why get married if the relationship is not secure? if the relationship is heading for failure, getting married will slow down but not stop the journey there. it will only result in more heartache and problems when the relationship fails. i have some friends who thinks the same. when they felt that their relationship is heading nowhere, they got married. when they felt that the marriage is getting nowhere, they have children. now that they are married and have children, they are unhappy. i don't know what they are thinking, but i'm definitely not going anywhere near where they are.

I used to live and work in Asia, which was predominantly conservative. And marriage was an institution that people felt strongly about. So I knew people that got married to stay in the relationship. All in the hopes that they come into the realization of the importance of their relationship, and that they work on it. Maybe it works there, but I don't think it works as much here in north America.

When you marry make sure its for the right reasons now in todays world people say the word marriage and just like the sound of it and think that, that's all there is to a marriage, people mind frame is so messed up now when it cmes to marriage its sad of how the divorce rate is, we all need to get a clue, and go back to traditions.

The hostess sounds disgusted with life that she have to do whatever she can the easiest way but not in a secured situation. Not only American, people here on my side of the world also practice divorce the same way too, so easy but one bias side is if the man did not report the divorce then the women cannot marry anyone else let alone being with another person.

I think people think that way sometimes. But these days, marriage is not on the top of the list anymore. A marriage license is nothing but a legal document. It causes more problems then it i worth. The best thing to do is not get married, live together, it's safer with less financial burdens.

Your last sentences are true to its core. It's sad how people assume that a marriage is a ticket to security. In our country, we don't have divorce yet so it is hard for partners who no longer detest each other to separate. A relative of mine had taken more than 2 years to have his marriage annulled so most people no longer because it takes too long and cost too much just for these type of legalities. And its true. Marrying for the purpose of convenience and commitment are done often nowadays. I guess for some people who are down to their luck, they'll likely do it if given that kind of opportunity. For those who'd assume that this type of commitment is an easy way to chain their loves to them with the assumption that there's no way out, they should better think again.

Marrying to secure the relationship is almost as bad as having a baby to secure the relationship. As long as divorce is legal, it will always be an option.

I know how common it is these days to end a marriage. Even in my country where divorce isn't available, it's not keeping the couple from separating. Now, marrying to keep a person from leaving may not be something that one should think about. I am not an expert on marriage and stuff but I know that marrying for the wrong reasons is the first step to being separated after several years together. I say let the person go. I think it's better to let these individuals pursue what they want in their lives so that they wouldn't regret not doing something because you said so - nothing is more painful than regrets coming from an unsatisfied spouse. Have a great MyLot experience ahead!

I think there really are people that think if they get married they are securing the relationship. It certainly costs a lot more to get out than it does to get in. I have a friend that is going through a divorce and it cost him $40,000 to get out of it. I think you are right...the connection is what needs to be nourished and secured. If it isn't working while one is dating, marriage is only going to make it worse.

If they want to secure a relationship by marrying the person, it's not even a healthy relationship in the first place. It just shows that you're a desperate person in need of a certain person who might not even want you back. And maybe you don't really want them either...you just think you do, and you accomplish this by marrying them. This is definitely not something that is right. Most people still think that marriage is a commitment. Once you're in a marriage, you've committed yourself with your partner, and many people see leaving that partner as the last resort. At least that's how it is here in the States. You can AVOID your partner, but you really can't SEVER the "relationship", because you'll always be tied with your wedding ring.

I don't think a wedding ring can make the difference in a relationship, because when the other person doesn't want to be with you anymore, no wedding ring or marriage paper can stop that person to file for divorce,so I don't think there is a way to make the other person change his or her mind after they already made the decision to end the relationship. So those who think that getting married is the solution to not allowed him or her to leave you are wrong, because no papers or legal status can make the feelings of that person if doesn't wants to be in that relationship anymore.

This is generally a bad thing...