Why men attracted in another women even he is married?
By smilywomen
@surekharathi (14146)
India
August 31, 2011 4:16am CST
Please dont laugh on this discussion and dont take this is in wrong way or bad thinking put your thought here so someone life can be save thanks in advance.
When I went my native place one women has came in our house & she was friend of my bhabhi and name of her is sonal. She was crying near my bhabhi and told her all incident and tell her husband is going in wrong way.
She was telling The habit of her husband he is see the other women. One lady’s house is next to sonal’s house and the boundry wall of both the house is same and she used to bath besides wall without any bathroom in an open place though she had a bathroom in her home.
Sonal’s husband is daily watch her at the time of bathing. She was talk with the lady and tell her please you should use the bathroom but she denied and tell to the sonal this is my house and I can do anything anywhere.. Sonal returned back her home. She cant say her husband because she knows the main mistake is that women mistake. Why she is not feel shame when she is bathing outside the bathroom...
She is worry about her married life. When she is talk with her husband about this ten her husband tell if a lady is ready to show then why not see me. Now she wants to suggestion what should she do. Your response will be helpful for her... Why why why men is attracted no another women this is my question...
10 people like this
25 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
31 Aug 11
Hi dear friend,
Seems that both are misbehaving here, first he knows she is married and should respect that she is not available to him. She should also be more careful in bathing outside where others can see her.
I think she needs to change this and bathe inside where no one can see her. The man really should have more respect because if he marries someday he should remember he would want his wife respected. So in part both are to blame but more so him for watching in.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Yes my dear friend
you are right here both are wrong but really how a women are exhibit herself. I think no solution for it. Because she is not ready to use bathroom and my bhabhi's friend's husband is not ready to stop to seeing her. thanks to share your view.
you are right here both are wrong but really how a women are exhibit herself. I think no solution for it. Because she is not ready to use bathroom and my bhabhi's friend's husband is not ready to stop to seeing her. thanks to share your view.1 person likes this
@ReverendShaggy (415)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
As a basis, the situation is a fairly odd one that I don't hear to often. For that reason I can't speak on it specifically.
When it comes to a man, it really doesn't matter if we are married or not I think. For the most part we will either look out of boredom or to try and get a reaction from our significant other. For some men it isn't even really a knowledge of them doing it themselves.
Your friend has already confronted her husband and he stated what he did correct? Then the next thing I would suggest is she ask him in confidence if he could restrain from looking for her.
2 people like this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Thanks friend for response really I also heard first time like this but it is very hard to say something to the sonal because the lady is also not ready to stop to do doing this..
Yes she is already tell to her husband but he said this is not my mistake if lady is not feel shame. Friend tell me this discussion is bad I want only the solution..
4 people like this
@anil02 (24688)
• India
1 Sep 11
Hello Surekha, bathing in open of a woman is abnormal one in India. I think when any one see some abnormal, it will attract them. Bathing outside the house of a female is abnormal one. Not only Sonal husband everyone who see her in this sitution must be throw site on her. In the eye of law it is dirty behave on public place. Sonal can take help of police in this matter.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Thanks to put you positive view yes friend the men is still men and if anyone is doing something like men should attract her side then this is the nature of men. But women doing abnormal activity I will suggest her the help of police if this problem is increased.
1 person likes this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Thanks to put you positive view yes friend the men is still men and if anyone is doing something like men should attract her side then this is the nature of men. But women doing abnormal activity I will suggest her the help of police if this problem is increased.
1 person likes this
@mythociate (21437)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
5 Sep 11
Men are not attracted to any specific women, but rather to the 'ideal woman'-template. There's 'being attracted to,' and there's 'loving.' A husband 'loves' his wife whether he's 'attracted to' her or not; good husbands 'show the love' to their wives AS IF they are attracted to their wives or not ... making the wives feel like the attractive spirits they all are.
If the wife you're talking about loves her husband, she will understand this and might even encourage the attraction! or at least work to be more-like the woman to whom he is attracted (work to be more like the 'ideal woman' in men's imaginations).
2 people like this
@kavya06 (372)
• India
31 Aug 11
I think it's not only the man's problem its womens problems too.,
why she is doing like i think she is attracted to him,as other's sayed even womens also should have the same feelings as mens have because they are also humans.,
in this problem.,only one person can cure it and that is the sonal,she is a wife,and she has the ability or responsibility to do it.,she should try to take a long talk to her husband and try to love him more that he should be attract to his on wife,as a wife she should be always open and sincer to her husband,so that he will be back from others,even they are more attractive...,if this are not effecting try to tell her go to a consultant and take more good advices.,
hope this all will change quickly,and wish them a happy family life.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Thanks a lot my smart friend to put your nice thought you are right sonal should try to attract the husband in her side and she should something like her husband came back and see to other women. You pose is like photogenic. I also hope the problem will solve immediately. But really why women are doing such silly activity.
1 person likes this
@balaji85in (459)
• India
31 Aug 11
Its really frustrating to hear. Why don't sonal inform this to her lady's family members if any. Whether the lady who takes open bath is married or unmarried?? Taking bath outside and disturbing the other people's mind is really an offence.. Can sonal lodge complaint at women's police station about the things. Yes, i can understand by being a lady without having husband support it is quite difficult to go to police station. Ask sonal to inform this dispute to her parents and ask sonal parents to lodge a complaint against her lady ( without involving the sonal's husband name in this. Coz it may affect her life ).. No need to file FIR.. Just bring the police to the spot when she takes open bath. They will warn that lady severely. She can't raise her voice to the police.. Coz its a public nuisance.. So once police warn her strictly, then surely she will control herself..
1 person likes this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
You are right sonal should inform to the lady's family member means her husband but her husband is drinker and he always ready for fighting. Lady are married but bala my friend you are right this even is very frustrating and God make men such means other people minds is really an offence but at least women should understand this thing she is also not ready to go to the bathroom for bathing. No police will also say this this is her house and she can do any why you are involved in it.. I cant understand what to say my bhabhi for her friends.. I also not have any suggestion so I start this discussion tell me under rule or not and thanks to put your nice thoughts.
2 people like this
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Thanks my friend I will tell to my bhabhi to say her friend such suggestion I will pray for sonal problem should be solved...
2 people like this
@balaji85in (459)
• India
31 Aug 11
No friend.. Don't think like that.. This problem will surely be solved if sonal parents forward this to police. Coz not only sonal is being affected in this dispute. Many other men also being disturbed. Please explain this to other neighbors, People will surely come along with police station to solve this issue.. If police is not helping, then there is Human Rights commission, or else they can consult a good lawyer and can send a legal notice regarding this to that open bath lady..
1 person likes this
@starrose_ara (784)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Men will be men. Being married did not remove their wandering eye so to speak. Men are said to be very visual creatures so what they see will attract them and will register to their brain the quickest way. Women do react differently even if they are married. We are not like men that thinks differently We confine our admiration to just that pure admiration and maybe a little of flirting but not more than that. A men on the other hand goes after other women because it is in their nature to do so unless they have taken their vows of marriage seriously. They reason out that they would not get pregnant if in case they indulge in a little dalliance. It adds a little macho factor when they conquer a woman's attention.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Yes friend you are right men will be men no matter he is married or not their eyes will be same and God made such nature of men. No friend the both sonal and the lady is pregnant and both the daughters are in 9th class. thanks to share your view.
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
31 Aug 11
It is the nature of the beast. Men will be men and me will look if you're willing to show. Men are visual creatures. But, on the other side of the coin, if the man is married, looking will not be e big deal, but if this woman is doing this on purpose to get your husband interested, then he should understand how you feel and say something, regardless if this other woman is attractive or not. But, understand, people in general look out of curiosity. Men especially. Looking is harmless on it's own, but if it goes any further, then it no longer is harmless. Also, if the wife is not paying to much attention to the husband, then something can happen.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Yes friend you are right men still men and God make such nature for men but at least women can feel shame but if she is ready then why men control on him. Yes men are visual creatures. thanks to share your view really this is complicated case because lady is also not ready to use bathroom for bathing
1 person likes this
@whengcat (1457)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
As for me, I think the woman has an intention to seduce sonal's husband. Don't get me wrong here but I think why on earth a woman, married or not, with a proper mind will do such thing if she doesn't have motives right?
I'm a woman, I'm married and I don't have anything against my fellow gender but hey, this is just not right. Taking a bath outside your house where everybody can see you? I'm sorry but it's not my thing even if I live in a free country I won't do that. Maybe if you're on a beach, where most people are on their bikinis and trunks, you can show off too but not like that
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Yes friend I also think that because why she is not ready to use bathroom for bathing. Because men nature is like if women is ready to show off then why men control on himself. thanks to share your view.
1 person likes this
@koperty3 (1876)
•
31 Aug 11
This is in their nature. They like to watch other women. For example when I watch film with my partner and some actresses in this film will be naked I know that my partner enjoys the view.The men are like this. You will not change them. As long as he is only watching not touching that's fine. Anyway I think this woman who like to take a bath outside she likes to be watched. I think.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
1 Sep 11
Yes friend you are right the men nature is such and God make such nature for men but at least women should understand this. You are right only watching not touching but may be increased this activity after some days so sonal is worry about own life. You are right the women is also wants to watch someone so she bathing outside. thanks to share your view.
1 person likes this
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
Hello surekha. In my opinion, why would a woman takes her bath outside where people can see her? Why not use the bathroom instead? I just don't get it. But anyhow, still it's the woman's right to do what she wants to do but please I hope she's not all naked while bathing because for sure men, aside from your friend's husband, will really watch her!
For me, the problem is mainly on the woman who takes a bath outside. The truth is men are still men. They have this nature that they couldn't resist themselves from looking, or peeking, or watching a woman's body especially when its merely and openly shown to them because they are fascinated by a woman's figure. But it can also be avoided if the man has this high resistance to such.
I think your friend need not to worry because looking at another woman is not a threat on their marriage. It's gonna be bad if her husband is trying to really act on it. But according to your story, I think he's not going on that direction. I'm hoping that your friend is just okay.
But another thing, the woman who's taking a bath for everyone to see is a je*rk. If in that case, that it's not respectful to the neighbors, you can report her to stop doing such. :(
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Yes you are absolutely right my friend men are still men and God made a men by such nature but at least women should know this. But friend sonal is worry about her life because if this activities are running continues then may be affect of her life. very nice suggestion thanks for it and you will received reward from me but according to rule wait till 3 to 4 days for best response not wait for other reward so I am giving now (+) thanks
1 person likes this
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
Oh, that's very sweet of you surekha. I'm really touched. I really do. I,ll be waiting for that reward! Hahaha. Love, love, love!
@bessyjanmayi (278)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
The reason will be most likely to run with this. First, it happens when men do not feel they are being love by their wife. second, probably because that's the nature of the men. men are more focus on their eyes. they easily get attracted on what they see especially if the girl he saw is very beautiful or sexy. He can't help but to linger on that area. Last, men are not contended with what he have.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
No friend no the nature of men but sonal's husband telling to sonal if lady is not feel shame then why I feel shame to see her.. The problem is really complicated but only we can do the pray for sonal's life.. thanks to share your view.
2 people like this
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
31 Aug 11
The main mistake is that woman's mistake?????
Sorry but I have to laugh out loud about that!
That man is married and watching an other woman and you blame that other woman?
How come everyone is always blaming the woman if a man is misbehaving?
Let Sonal tell her husband to lay his eyes on her. Over here he would be a peeping neighbour and if older called: a dirty old man!
To my opinion the neighbour (woman) is right. She has te right to do at her own place what she likes. The world is not just a men's world. They don't have all the rights.
Why men are attracted by other women?
For the same reason women can be attracted by other men.
Attraction is something you feel, you can't always help feeling it.
It shows earlier if you don't feel great in your own relationship/life.
If every day is the same, no attraction, no excitement.
That doesn't it's always cheating too.
Can be this husband just likes to peep and is using his fantasies if he sleeps with his own wife.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Friend this is not laughing topic but anyway different people different nature sonal worry about her married life. No friend if women is ready to show then God make men such nature to see her. Even he is sleeping with his wife but after some days may be interest will be loose in his wife due to other women. Okkk thanks for response.
1 person likes this
@johnbrainlot (177)
• Greece
1 Sep 11
men from their nature tend to get bored in a relationship and need to comfirm that they still count as men. so they seek to make relationships with other women. that can affect and help their ego or destroy it.
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
have you heard of the 80/20 rule? I'd say this is true for all people, and not only for those who are married. because most of the time we can only see what we don't have... instead of treasuring the things or the partner that we are with.
read on the article i will post here so you'd understand more on the said rule when it comes to relationships. best to have your partner read it as well. =)
http://travismagazine.wordpress.com/2009/02/10/why-we-cheat-the-8020-rule/
hope you have a good read =)
@changjiangzhibin89 (16521)
• China
6 Sep 11
Not every man can do so.It is nothing but vulgar interests.However,I simply can't conceive why Sonal's neighbour had no sense of shame and went to the length of saying"this is my house and I can do anything anywhere".Where has her husband gone to?
@viju0410 (2286)
• India
3 Sep 11
Hi Surekharathi, I think there are two problems here. Sonal is not paying much attention towards the drinking habit of her husband but she's more into keeping him away from the neighboring lady. Sonal should talk to her husband at the right time i.e. when he is not drunk, and when he is in a good mood that they have a prestigious life in the locality and he should take care not to let it down by his deeds.
Rather than finding out whose mistake, trying to put things in right place can work out better in complicated situations.
Best regards...
@Rosa26 (2618)
• United States
2 Sep 11
Hello Surekharathi.
Why that man feels attracted to this other woman even thought h is married?
Because he doesn't respect his wife.
why?
Because he thinks that she is an object he bought in the store, and that belongs to the house like whatever ornament.
Why?
Because he doesn't have read in the bible when it says "and you husband give thought to your way of life with your wives, giving honour to the woman who is the feebler vessel, but who has an equal part in the heritage of the grace of life; so that you may not be kept from prayer" then this man is not giving the importance and respect that his wife desire.
Why?
Maybe because he is trying to find something that he hasn't discover he has at home.
My husband never do that at least when I am with him, (because I don't know if he look at woman when he out side alone) lol.But
why he doesn't do that in my presence?
Because he respect me and value me.
@ARShams (82)
• Pakistan
31 Aug 11
Men are in the habit of changing taste of whatever it is. Men sometimes eat out without their respective spouse's consent. If asked they (men who do so) often say being fed up of monotonous things at home I do so even though I may not prefer doing so.
Guess, who's at fault first, men or women. Should women care deeply about respective husband's tastes and should men too care their women folks likes and dislikes for the sake of happy long lasting conjugal life.
@jsjose_myl (17)
• Philippines
31 Aug 11
Madame Surekharati: I put madame because I am made to believe by your discussion that you are a wife. When my wife was still alive, I have only one wife, yet I do not intend to seek another wife. However, I will be lying if I say I'm not wanting a woman. I emphasize as I symphatize the word "Woman" as it is purely in "want" or in it as a "need". Wife and Woman is two different word in two different application - speaking particularly in marriage. If you have not taught about it yet, then you may end up learning something. We may continue the discussion if ever you really wish to know my opinion. I surely will love to share it from you. I will observe as to what extent of tolerance does your acceptability of the truth about sexuality, as to my opinion is concern. You know I am a man. You choose to continue or not this discussion is in your privilege. Waiting for your invitation...
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
31 Aug 11
Friend I am frankly I understand some part but not full part of your response. Here two points are cleared by sonal sides. One is the lady is also married and sonal is also married and sonal husband watching the lady because she is bathing out of bathroom and she is not ready to use bathroom. Her husband is not know about this. But when sonal say to her own husband then he replied if the lady is not feeling shame then why I not look her.
1 person likes this
