Do you sometimes feel like you just want to banish?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30186)
Philippines
August 31, 2011 9:41pm CST
I have, honestly... i feel as if i just want to banish into the air and be gone forever.. Like i hope not to come back, just go and end all the bad things, all the pain, all the hurts i have.
I just wish that if i could be gone, i'd choose it to be now... i feel i can no longer hold on to any of the things that this cruel world is giving me.
I sometimes feel happy, lucky... but most of the time i feel pressured, i feel like im just a nobody, with people all eyes on me, expecting me to be better, expecting me to provide more money to my family.. and they think i am keepingg money from them, keeping things, and that i am selfish!
how can they make me feel that way, all the time.. when all my 30 years of life, i know in my heart that i have always put them first... and yet it is not enough!
I wish i could just run away, die, or just banish! =(
1 person likes this
7 responses
@somethingbig (282)
• United Arab Emirates
1 Sep 11
I feel sad the way you feel right now. When family is supposed to be the one giving you strength and support to go through life. We all have pressures some are light, some are too heavy that you feel that you can't go on anymore. I had moments like that also. What i normally do is i go somewhere alone so i can stop for a while and see my world in a different view. It is prayers and hope that things will get better that really keeps me going all this time. Life is like a wheel sometimes your up sometimes you're down. We are destined to feel all emotions. I found God through my toughest times, i know i cannot lean on someone other than Him. Through His graces and mercy He gave me hope. Believe, hold on and ask for His graces and things will get lighter, better and beautiful. Maybe He is just waiting for you to come home.
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Thank you for your response. I feel i need to really go away for a long time, its just not possible at this time though.
I know we do need to build up on our spiritual health.. and i guess i do need God all the time and not just today, nor everytime i feel like there is no hope...
i always try to hang on to him, i always try hard, and with the best of my ability to find and seek his comfort... actually he's changed me alot already... maybe he does know i can make it through this... but i need to be able to see things on a clearer view.. im kind of blinded by the situation right now.. =(
@parryjain7 (68)
• India
1 Sep 11
Yea i do feel that when i was having bed rest and i am still on it once i felt when doctor told me to cut the feet and to get artifical feet but i waited for the response of my therpy ...after that i realised life is not to give up easily ..
we get life once live ur life to the fullest ..our best is friend is our sadness always around us it comes in new way and we have to fight and make it into happy moments ..
Don`t give up fight for everything
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
1 Jul 12
yeah, sadness surrounds us and even if we are with so much happiness we often get news of being saddened suddenly. i guess the only thing we can do is to be happy and to continue fighting. Life is never without love anyway.. it may cease to be with us for the moment but it is everywhere around us anyway. we just have to know of that.
@neildc (17238)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
5 Sep 11
i guess this is something like my recent discussion, something about having a leave of absence as husband or wife. because of so many things and problems in the house, you seem to just take a little break. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2565937.aspx
@Professor2010 (20156)
• India
16 Jun 12
At times i feel too, but i am 67 now; well life is full of struggles and we have to face them boldly; be sure the victory will be in our favor..
Professor ‘Bhuwan’. .
Cheers have a lucky day ahead.
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
I'm very sorry for you're feeling right now. May i ask, who makes you feel this way? Because for me, no one has the right to make you nor anyone to feel less and bad about him/herself. It'd really make a person feel unworthy, that's what happened to you.
I don't know how it is there in your country, the way people deal with people, but I think, it's time for you to voice out and let them know how you feel. You need it so as to let them know that they don't help at all. Please help yourself. I hope that you will one day stand with your head high and speak what's on your mind. This has got to stop already. Take courage dear and trust me, the Lord will help you on this. ;)
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
1 Jul 12
hi ronadelle, yes there are people actually who has made me feel this way. it is with so much pain that i know though in time, with God's blessing, with his help i may be able to go through this whole ordeal and be less unhappy about what i am feeling now. With time, i know though that everything is going well, well at least that is what i think of my current situation now.
@Judy890 (1644)
• United States
1 Sep 11
I'm so sorry you feel this way but don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't doing what you are suppose to do when you know in your heart you are doing the right thing, if its anyone that's selfish its your family. If you provide that's good enough they shouldn't expect you provide more money. Good luck my friend
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
1 Jul 12
i am always feeling this way, my mother makes me feel that i need to bring more to the house... well at work sometimes i feel there is more i should have done. some people are just really good at making you feel you are not good enough and thus you feel the need to just be gone or something, see if they can realize what losing you meant.
@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
Awww... I do think the same sometimes but it will be my lost if I just 'banish'. Don't let other people hold you back and dictate your happiness. If you know that your right then go with it. I think it's not you that is selfish, it's them for thinking that you should give all of yourself to them. Your have help them enough and if they want more then they should work.
@chiyosan (30186)
• Philippines
1 Sep 11
thank you Tessa.. maybe you are right.. but really as a daughter, i don't know up to what extent is enough... maybe its due to our different perspective.. still i feel i might not live up to the expectation and more often than not.. i feel i am always at a losing side. i am trying to give more, its just that that is all i could afford. =(
