I'm really starting to hate living with my parents
By courtknee525
@courtknee525 (3742)
United States
September 30, 2011 7:45pm CST
I'm 19 and going to a university not too far from my house and I live with my parents. Lately it's been getting sort of annoying and stressful to live with. I always feel like one of my parents is picking on me for some reason or another, criticizing me, telling me what I can and can't do, and comparing me to other people. The other day I just broke down crying because I can't take it anymore. My mom is constantly telling me to go to certain places at school so I can meet a doctor or a lawyer when I'm perfectly happy with the boyfriend I have. She's always comparing me to other people saying "Oh, well so and so does this..too bad you couldn't be like that" and just little digs like that all the time. Then she'll always point out that I don't wear makeup often and she always makes a point to add that in somehow and how other people are wearing makeup and how good they look. Even my dad makes little digs at me too. Not about makeup but other things and I just feel like he always gets mad at me and my mom always seems to be in a bad mood or get upset with me for no reason.
I honestly can't take living like this anymore because all I do here is get criticized. Then today I was talking to my aunt about becoming a court reporter and what you have to do. As soon as we left and got in the car my mom was like you can't get a 4 year degree in that, you have to go to a tech or vocational school for a year or two to do that and you're not quitting college to do that and there's no other option besides a four year degree. And then she goes on to say "Oh, I didn't know we were thinking about a court reporter". I was like um what do you mean by "we"? This is my life and she just thinks she can control it.
I don't want to live here at all because I just feel like they're always unhappy with me. They're always saying how I don't really talk to them that much and it's because they're miserable for me to be around and I don't enjoy their company at all. I'm a completely different person when I'm not around them and I'm much happier and talkative with people. I just want to get out of here as soon as possible because I'm so done with them and I'm tired of always feeling like this.
7 responses
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
9 Oct 11
Parents are just like that. They always expect a lot of things from their kids. And sometimes they fail to recognize that their kids are not kids anymore. That they have their own lives.
Unfortunately, as long as you live with your parents you have to do as they say, or put up with this.
Until you get a place of your own, and can show them that you could live by your own means, I'm afraid you have no choice.
Hang in there.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
10 Oct 11
No, she's always been over protective like this. Since I'm an only child, it's even worse. I've been trying to get away from having to text her all the time and I'll try and just leave places and show up at home without texting her. It's not like it's anything big, but I'm trying to make baby steps with her lol
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
9 Oct 11
Yes, I definitely realize that this is how I'll be living until I move out :( My mom has a hard time; she wants me to be grown up and do things myself yet she'll do things for me or do things that make me seem like a child. I'm 19 years old and I still have to text her when I get to where I'm going, when I'm leaving, etc. If I text her and say I'm at the movies, she'll say ok text me when you're leaving. I kid you not I will get 5 texts throughout the entire movie asking if it's over or when I'm leaving. If I said I'll tell you when I'm leaving and you still haven't gotten a text, then I obviously haven't left yet so leave me alone. It just drives me crazy. I can understand sending her a text once or twice during the night just to let her know what's up but I think it's ridiculous that I have to always text when I get there and leave. I even have to text her when I get to my boyfriend's house which is about 5 minutes away.
It's frustrating to hear her say that I need to start doing things for myself or do this or that and yet she treats me like a child at times. It's hard to be what she wants when she treats me like something else.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
1 Oct 11
Hi Courtknee,
You are a grownup now, and you can move out from your parents' nest, so to speak and live your own life. As long as you live under their roof they are going to put their hand into your life...it's just them being parents and wanting what they think is best for you, even if you don't agree. I went through the same with my parents, but I set boundaries with them. I was divorced with a baby daughter at the time and my father wanted me to join the US Navy as a WAVE. Back then you couldn't have children and go to be in the Navy if you weren't married... they said I would have to give custody of my daughter to someone. Well, I wasn't about to do that. My dad was furious and decided to pressure me by saying that he would take my daughter away from me legally by saying I wasn't fit. I wasn't fit because I wasn't doing what he wanted... I told him right where to get off and told him if he wanted ANY financial help from me (I paid rent to him) that he would mind his own business. He shut up about it after that.
I think you will have to either move out or stand your ground. You will have to tell your parents in no uncertain terms that you are an adult and this is your life and they are to butt out unless you ask them for help. If they give you lip about that, then just move out and make your own way.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
1 Oct 11
I think if I ever tried to speak my mind, even in a nice way, they'd flip out on me. It's really stressful on me trying to meet their expectations and seemingly always failing at it. I just feel like nothing is ever good enough, especially for my mom. Honestly, I think she just wants me to do things so she can brag to her friends about it just because she's like that. Every time someone talks about getting into colleges my mom is always saying something like "Oh yeah, my daughter was accepted to UF and she changed her mind and didn't want to go there". I feel like it's always a competition for her to see what's the best thing I can do. The pressure is killing me and I just want to get away from it.
@dodo19 (47095)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
1 Oct 11
I can certainly understand your situation. I went away to university, and when I was home for the holidays and stayed at my parents, I really didn't like it much either. I can suggest that you do one of two things. First, you can just keep living with your parents. But try and sit down with them and talk to them about how you feel. Second option is that you find a place of your own, which definitely not a bad thing.
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
1 Oct 11
I lived away from home for one semester at another college but I hated being away from my boyfriend so much that I came back home. At first, my parents weren't too bad, I just really had to get used to living with them after living without them (I preferred living in the dorm lol). Now, it's just getting to the point where I can't take it anymore and I'm trying to do everything I can to get away. I'm trying to get a part time job while I go to school so I can save up and hopefully move out eventually.
@meriel (101)
• Philippines
1 Oct 11
I just want to ask.. how many siblings do you have? are the eldest? and just a question don't get hurt. are they really your parents? because as what you have said you mom wants you to go to a certain place of your school to meet a doctor or a lawyer to become your boyfriend.? i think a parents would not do that. unless they want you to marry a rich guy to support them financially. kinda "gold digger". sometimes our parents does not listen to us that is why they can't understand us. they always think that they are always right. but the truth is they are not right always.
as of now you don't have a choice. you have to stay in your home until you graduate from college. unless you have a job to finance your studies and provide your needs. if you have you may leave your parents house but make sure that you made the right decisions you should think wisely..
@verolop29 (1096)
• United States
1 Oct 11
Hi sweetie! your parents mean well. TRY not to stress so easily, i think they are like this bcuz they want u to do well. one day u will understand but in the meantime..talk to them. get them both in the same room and tell them how u feel. I dont think they see u as an adult yet and i think theyre doing this to u bcuz they dont have anyone esle to 'pick on'! just tell them honey. im sure one day maybe u will go thru the SAME routine. i know its not easy but try to imagine what ur parents went thru, making sure u have what u need and everything. i know u didnt ask for it but they are doing their best. they're jjust porbably secretly happy ur going to college and taken it out on u the wrong way..idk.
at least u have parents. mine wont even talk to me or even think of me as their daughter....u see she is soooooo very mad with me for puting her husband away for molestine me since i was 2. i turned him in and he's been locked for 20 yrs now he's out to get me. maybe even kill me...idk. i had to change my name and move and hire PI's so he wont find me and my little family.
But thats not something i wish to talk about.....
just talk to them sweetheart. when your calm, not mad. and when they are calm too. and dont yell. ok, trust me yelling will get u nowhere!!
@courtknee525 (3742)
• United States
1 Oct 11
Thank you so much :) Sometimes I really don't think they realize how they're making me feel. I'll definitely try talking to them about it and see how things work out
@naseemkum (1803)
• India
1 Oct 11
As i want say that ur mom wants to make u as best upon everything. When she gives milk by hurting himself u feel happy that time being had ur food. Now u feel hurting about ur mom for saying things. As cooperate with ur mom and say what u like and what u dont like as they are living for urself only.
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
1 Oct 11
Hi ,I hope u have tryed as much as u can to get along with your parents, dont think that your parents will change You have to open the door for them maybe they are nocking and You dont notice it yet, try to get close to them listen to them try to do as they say , dont argue with them try to bring peace to You and to them. If all that doesnt work and You dont see any change, maybe its time for you to move away from home, Try hard to look for a job , when You find it , find a friend to be your roommate and can move together so u can share the expenses, that will give u a dependable life and u will see that the actitud in your parents will change and they will miss u and when u visit them all will be happyness and peace. To move away doesnt mean that you are breaking your relationship with your parents, means , that u are getting mature and want to manage your own life. I was 20 years old when i left home , yes, I didnt finish college I started working and studying something else , that time was the most wonderfull years in my life i lived by my own , i had a job , i got my own car of course (a cheap one) I did whatever i wanted to do with responsability ( thats important) even I help a little to my parents, after that, i won my parents s respect, untill today we have a great relationship. Good luck my friend .
