Dilemma

Philippines
October 5, 2011 7:30pm CST
I'm in a new relationship now. My girlfriend is a single mom. I'm quite paranoid about her ex, if they're still in contact or am I just a rebound, or if she really loves me or just found some hope in me. How am I going to handle this? Am I suppose to break up or to continue with this ?
2 people like this
5 responses
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
6 Oct 11
I wouldn't be paranoid. Give her a chance. The kids dad is always going to be in the picture. Speaking as a mom, no matter what happens between me and my husband, he is always their father. He is always going to have a place in my life because he is their father and at one time I cared about him and we made three beautiful kids. I'll always care about him. But that doesn't mean that she is still hung up on him, or that you are a rebound. Be strong and supportive.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
6 Oct 11
I like to know where your confusion is comming from. Is she doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is giving you these thoughts? It will be hard to meet someone nowadays who did not had a past (with or without children). So big change you will be confronted with that in an other relationship too. But there have to be some rules even if there are kids. 1. Ex = exit 2. Rules in the house, life style has to be something of you two not something of her and her ex 3. You are the 3rd parent for the kids. If you live together (or will live together) there will be a new family the kids live in, perhaps some new rules. Rules made by the new family. 4. If there are any problems your gf has to turn to you in the first place (not the ex) I don't know how long you are together now but ask yourself what is really bothering you. Are you jealous she had someone else? Is she talking day in and out about her ex? Is she ignoring your wishes/advice/help? Are you able to talk with her about your feelings? Are you looking whole time for prove about what you feel? Remember that many times we ruin our own relationship because we see things and keep talking about it, which don't exist at all. Ask yourself if you love her and are willing to go for her. Write down 3 things you find important in a relationship. If she is a yes to all of these 3 answers she is the one. That doesn't mean it will be easy, you both have to work on your relationship, and you have to be her yes too (not just a filling of time so she doesn't feel alone). Also it will be very hard to start a new relationship if you have a broken one, especially with kids.
@dfollin (24146)
• United States
6 Oct 11
If I were you I would wait and see what happens.Has anything happened that made you feel that she was on the rebound?.You sound like you are being insecure. You should thing and sort out why you are feeling this way.
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
6 Oct 11
I think it's time for you to assess how you really feel about the girl. If there's so many things that cloud your mind, then try to clear it and then you can really say that you are serious with the girl.
• Philippines
6 Oct 11
hi sundownkid! if you're getting paranoid and miserable with your relationship with her, why hurt yourself more when you can break up with her anytime. but there's a but,if you're getting paranoid with no real evidence of being one, then stop it. having negative thoughts about your significant other can't help. confront her with your uneasiness, if she denies it then say like "if that situation comes in our relationship,would you be honest to me?". make a good conversation with her,don't accuse her if you're not that sure.:)