Getting married.. not in my mind

Philippines
October 12, 2011 6:34am CST
Years ago, me and my sister were just youngsters. And my sister would always say, that she doesn't want to get married. And me in my mind, I'd say, I'd want to! I would want to have my own family, be a responsible wife, take care of my children and just stay inside our house and do the chores blah blah. But now my sister has a boyfriend and somehow I can conclude from her stories that she has plans already when she's in her married life. And me, I can't see that dream anymore. I don't want to just stay inside the house and raise my children. I have so many dreams, I still want to accomplish and I would want them with a single life. I don't know. Maybe, things would change also. After all, change is the only thing that's constant. :P
7 responses
@enelym001 (8325)
• Philippines
13 Oct 11
I once thought of that, when I was still very young and have a lot of dreams for myself and my family. At those times I don't even worry about not having a boyfriend while my schoolmates and friends are already having one and some got pregnant and get married. I thought life is really easy without thinking about someone. I was afraid of having to deal with heart aches just as how I see my friends cry over their guys. But that's what I thought, until I learn how to really love and care for someone. And I wasn't wrong, relationship isn;t a bed of roses, it includes all heartaches and hardships. I am still not married now, and still hoping that one day I'm gonna get married with the right guy. Although I have a boyfriend now, I am still unsure where life would take me. My advise is for you to continue enjoying your life, and achieving your dreams. =)
@emptydb (80)
13 Oct 11
There are a lot of things that you can do and explore when you are single. There are a lot of places you can visit or a lot of things that you can accomplish when you are single and that is what i see too...when you are married most specially with kids, you are already limited to doing things you wish to do cause you think of what your husband or kids needs...if there are things you want to buy when you are married, you always think of what's important most specially for your kids unlike being single you are in control of what you wish to buy immediately without having to think of anyone else...
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hello. If I am as young as you are, I'd not want to get married and have kids, too. Trust me dear, all you need to do is to go for your dream and if you are completely happy with yorself, then, maybe that's the time you have to 'expand'. :-) There are people who rush into getting married and start a family of their own at an impulse ,thinking they love each other so bad that they can't live without each other only to find out at the end that it is not really what they wanted. That they are not yet ready for the responsibilities and not ready to give up the life of a single. Sad, they already have kids . Be stable first, financially, emotionally and spiritually. :-)
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
12 Oct 11
In life there are some stages and everytime is time to pass to a new stage we feel afraid of taking that step, mostly when is the marriage one. I agree that couples can be together without getting marry this way You both get to know eachother. If You are before 30 is better dont take this step yet and You are not that inlove, have fun, life is beautiful. When You get together with your partner and decide to have kids of course Your life will change, You get more responsabilities and less time for Yourself, but , if You are inlove You will love to spend time with that person. When the kids come You will love to be a mom. (life is still beatiful from another very different point of view. We dont have to think too much , lets live life the way it comes , I am sure a beautiful future is waitting for you my friend.
• Philippines
12 Oct 11
Hi ficklesky! I guess what you feel right now is just normal. Besides, you don't need to rush things. Just enjoy your singlehood and freedom at this moment. Yes, you are, there might be some changes that occur in your life someday and one of it is getting into married life. They say it comes when the least you expect it. So, i guess this is the best time for you to step on the stones towards your dreams. Good luck! :-)
• India
12 Oct 11
Marriage should not happen by force, we should feel it and need to be more careful with the life partner we choose. take your time and make your marriage life good.
• Australia
12 Oct 11
Hi, sounds like you are very confused as to what you want. It can be very conflicting. Some people see married life as an end to adventure and freedom. Which is true in some ways, but married life comes with lots of other adventures. I was 31 when I met my now husband. I was very set in my ways and yes I wanted to meet someone but it was very hard to open up and let him into my world. I had pretty much been single until I met him. No real long term relationships. When I met my husband I was told at our second date that he already had three children one of which lived with him. This would normally have sent me running but for some reason I didn't. It just felt right. We are now married and I have had my first baby. (His fourth.) Yes there is alot that I can't do now that i'm a family girl but I don't miss it. Because being here creates so many more opportunities. Your priorities change. So my advise would be to keep an open mind. You can have both, your dreams and a partner. The right person wouldn't hold you back, they will push you forward.