He was bullied before
By bingskee
@bingskee (5234)
Philippines
October 24, 2011 9:01am CST
It was more than a shock to know that my son was bullied not only late in high school but during his early years in high school, and also during elementary.
As he was trying to tell the story, I can still feel his frustration over those kids who seem to have felt happy doing and saying those nasty things. He couldn't understand the satisfaction those kids get from the process. He admitted that during elementary, he really felt like he wanted to literally kill them.
I explained to him that though he felt that way, he did not do anything to retaliate because he was loved at home by all of his family and relatives. He agreed to it saying that school was the total opposite place of home that time. He still graduated salutatorian in elementary.
But in high school, it didn't change. The bullying became worse. I could feel the pain and I asked him once when he mentioned this to me why he did not tell us any of these things. He shrugged and said, "Oh, I can manage, Ma." In one of those bad days, one of those rowdy boys put a stone in my son's shake. My son, being really angry, and still trying to be in control, only managed to splash all contents of the shake to that boy's polo shirt. The boy was so mad he wanted to punch my son but was not able to because he was prevented by the others, or could it be that he was also so shocked to receive such an expected retaliation from someone who had just kept silent for long? 
My son graduated in high school and belonged to the top 5 of the whole batch, and that time he was not even serious, as he told me, about studies, because of the ugly situation in that school.
When he reached college, he did not receive any of these discrimination. In college (where he excels), he felt so happy and free though he admits that there is an evident power struggle in the university where he is at now. But better a power struggle than bullying, he said.
He will be graduating in college next year. He is a consistent university scholar. 
I am so proud of this boy who was bullied, and had survived, and had made it well as to this time. God bless him and his future endeavor.
My son graduated in high school and belonged to the top 5 of the whole batch, and that time he was not even serious, as he told me, about studies, because of the ugly situation in that school.
When he reached college, he did not receive any of these discrimination. In college (where he excels), he felt so happy and free though he admits that there is an evident power struggle in the university where he is at now. But better a power struggle than bullying, he said.
He will be graduating in college next year. He is a consistent university scholar.
I am so proud of this boy who was bullied, and had survived, and had made it well as to this time. God bless him and his future endeavor.2 people like this
19 responses
@seriousnuts (508)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Your son is a very strong person. I salute him for enduring these difficulties and excelling in school. I don't understand those bullies. They are bullied themselves at home and therefore wanted to displace this hatred to others. They picked your son because he was "different." Different because he is very smart while the bullies are pathetically mentally challenged. I'm glad for your son because he didn't let these people ruin his studies and the obviously bright future ahead of him. Congratulations to your son. He is amazing! I could really see how proud you are of him.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
he reminds me of an article i wrote about men who weep. there is this stereotyping that men should not cry, and bullying might be one.
bullying will never produce good results to a person. even the bully himself knows that there is something wrong. even if someday, he'll change, he will never ever forget what damage he did to others.
my son has many plans for the future. i just hope and pray he will be able to achieve his dreams.
@seriousnuts (508)
• Philippines
27 Oct 11
That makes sense. Bullying is their way to deal with their situation. They didn't experience love at home and therefore displaces their hatred to others. However, that is not a positive way to deal with their emotions.
Best wishes to your son. I hope more people could be like him.
@marguicha (216301)
• Chile
25 Oct 11
I hate bullies because I was bullied at school when I was a child. At those times, parents did not understand too much how painful it was and thought we were a lot stronger than we were.
I´m glad your son got over it. I did too and had (and have) a wonderful life. Nevertheless, I think something should be done by teachers now that the psichological hurts sometimes are too much for some children.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
i could not remember that i was bullied but i felt discriminated because our family was poor and my classmates know that. i did not feel i was welcome, or probably that was how i felt because i was insecure. but it did not made me any weaker.
i believe that it is important that the children feel that they have their homes to go to. the family will always be the pillar of strength for children and they cling to it.
there has something to be done for this serious malady in the schools.
@marguicha (216301)
• Chile
25 Oct 11
There are many things that happen at schools and unfortunatly they are not controlled. I´m sure they could, if there was more discipline. But in these days, children are not taught to respect others, either at home or at schools.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Oct 11
I honestly think that the majority of us were bullied at one time or another. I know that I was when I was in middle school and in high school. It wasn't something that was fun, but it was something that I learned to deal with because I know that there is some degree of adversity in every role that we play in our lives.
With that said, college, in my opinion is a lot better than high school because people tend to be much more like minded than people in high school are.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
25 Oct 11
You have every reason to be proud of your son, who not only did not get affected by the bullying but did not rebel against them. This is exceptional!
Some kids today find it very difficult to deal with bullying, my own children were never bullied so it would be hard for me to opinionated what should be done and what not. But I do hear from your discussion that there was a lot of family involvement and quality time. Which says to me that although he was having a hard time at school, home balanced things for him.
He would be an excellent mentor for young kids at schools. Maybe speaking out would help those who are bullied. Congratulations on having such a successful son.
@miadsoriano (884)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
Good for your son! I can't help but feel proud for him too! His soul is definitely strong and need be a bully himself to show people how strong he really is. I really dislike all this bullying thing. It wasn't like this during my school years. I really admire your son for standing up to his oppressor with the shake. That exactly is the way to go, in my personal opinion. Just like with rapists, snatchers, hold-uppers, and the like...you should NEVER make it easy for them. It's more a a form of psychological warfare, if you ask me.
@smacksman (6053)
•
24 Oct 11
I love children but they can be little horrors at times and very cruel to each other. In my day you could give a bully a fat smack and tell them to stop bullying or they would get another one. It usually worked but some kids were just plain evil.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
it is not the children to blame. the people and circumstances around them had made them what they are.
children are molded by what surrounds them and these come from those adults. these fragile little beings are harmless unless adults influence them to do evil. 
@maximax8 (31053)
• United Kingdom
24 Oct 11
I hate bullying and think those that bully are really nasty. I think it is very sad that your son got bullied at elementary school and his feelings got very hurt by it. When is bullying became much worse it must have been so awful for him. Many people would have been depressed by bullying and it could have ruined their life when older thinking back to it and feeling the pain.
I am amazed and delighted that your son has done very well at university. He will soon be graduating and can enjoy his happy future. He has survived his bullying and has amazingly put it in the pass never to be visited again. Well done to your son and I hope he will have a very enjoyable and happy time in life now.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
that is what i felt sad the most because he admitted that he wanted those other children killed. for such a very young boy to think that bad against others, the experience must be very harsh. and i really felt sad. high school added to the emotional pain and i know that it just added up to the harsh experience from elementary.
he had triumphed and he is mature in thinking. i am so happy for him.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
24 Oct 11
I am very glad to hear that your son's story had a happy end, especially since there are so many children out there going through the same thing. I cannot honestly believe that bullying is still such a large problem. I know that the schools in my area have programs about this sort of thing and they teach children how to protect themselves properly. I too was bullied throughout junior highschool and highschool and I can honestly say that it has made me a stronger person because of it. I too was able to come out of the situation with a better life, but I know that there are many people out there who are not so lucky. I think that as parents it is very important that we make certain our children know that being a Bully is NOT acceptable and only makes people weak. There is nothing good about hurting those that are weaker than you. Anyone can be a bully, it takes a special breed of person to stop a bully and show that the bigger person is the one who cares for those who cannot care for themselves. I hope that your son shares his story to other children, I know that they could really benifit from it.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
hi, crivas. that is a nice piece. not every bullied child can come out of the situation. this experience can embed marks within and it is very possible that the outcome can be bad.
glad to know that it did not cause damage to you and stayed strong just as my son had.
@waflay (2737)
• Nairobi, Kenya
24 Oct 11
I don't what is the gain for doing that- bullying others, I passed through that stage and its so bad knowing that people can do such things to others just for fun. It came a time I called it 'no' and stood on my ground. The gang leader kept on coming which resulted into a fight, lucky that I had made loyal friends who supported me, and we defeated them. We later became friends, good they did not continue their practice because of embarrassment.
Your son did well by defending himself, without it it could have cause more trouble in his education. Well, he is now free and doing great. He should be congratulated for whatever he did to be who he is.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
nice to know that those bullies changed their ways. i just hope and pray that those who still do will come to their senses and stop.
i have the confidence that my son would try very hard to maintain what he wants - a peaceful life - but i admit that i am still afraid until now that if pushed to the limit, he can do something he might later regret. i am praying that he will staying cool headed and grounded.
i have the confidence that my son would try very hard to maintain what he wants - a peaceful life - but i admit that i am still afraid until now that if pushed to the limit, he can do something he might later regret. i am praying that he will staying cool headed and grounded.1 person likes this
@HornedDemoN (117)
• Bulgaria
24 Oct 11
Your son SHOULDN'T put up with such behaviour.
And while I agree that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", sometimes it's necessary to fight back.
He should take a martial arts class or something, as it really will come in handy one day, trust me. He needs both physical and mental preparation for situations like these. Please DON'T think that the bullying is over forever. There will be many other people in his life who will attempt to break him apart and will constantly bring him down, unless he does something about that. It's only over when HE DECIDES it is.
He should really learn to stick up for himself.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
well, i preferred what he did, splashed the contents of that shake. my son is wise enough to think that it is not worth it, and i am thankful that he was able to maintain his wits, though not his cool, and did not punch that boy in high school. it could have had brought terrible harm to either of them. it is not cowardice at all. those bullies are the cowards because they do harm to those they think as weak.
it is not cowardice at all. those bullies are the cowards because they do harm to those they think as weak.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
24 Oct 11
My daughter was bullied and the school knew but they did do nothing against it. It was the right of the a-social bully not of the polite attentive kid.
Now she is doing well, she was one of the smartest too but it's a very bitter pill. also I find it hard to be satisfied with the idea that it will be alright one day, if they are an adult and if they are not broke.
My son is bullied now too, I took him to an other school. So did many other parents.
He is very intelligent and most kids are not on his level so it's hard to have something in common. He prefers to be alone. And just like my daughter he says: I prefer them to ignore me instead of bullying.
Both and also I will never understand the fun the bully feels to bother others, to make their life miserable. Why investing time in that? Why not just ignoring someone if you don't like him/her?
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
what kind of right is bullying???? that is a lot of nonsense! uggh! these school authorities must be the first ones to get orientation or taught about the ill effects of the act of bullying.
this is a serious matter that has to be given serious attention. who knows if the bullying could create a monster in a person? it is not a far-fetched possibility.
@kaeirole (668)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
wow..you're son had really managed to control himself to those who bullied him..and he even became a better person and never let those experience affect him..congratulations to your son..i know you are really proud of him..
me also..i also experienced being the one who bullies and being bullied also..i was in elementary also..when i got into a group of friends who had the attention of most students in the university..sad to say, i was influenced by them..so i bullied some of my schoolmates on the lower levels..after we graduated in elementary, i thought that our friendship was genuine..but i was wrong..after a misunderstanding between me and a member of our group, there wasn't a time then that i didn't keep myself alone and away from them..they kept on bullying me and rumors scattered..so i transferred to another school to be away from them..and the bad thing is..those experiences made me lose my self confidence..i always doubt myself if i really can make it..until now, i still lack self confidence, though i'm getting it back little by little..
and i regret those thing that i didn't took those experience as a challenge for me..sad to say also..my parents didn't know about this..and they didn't even have the time to know about this.. :(
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
hi, kaeirole. this is a nice piece.
the good thing about my son is he has his own principles. even if he chanced upon these bullies and force him to do what they want, he will not do it. that'll be the time, i believe, that my son will let us know what is happening if the bullies insist.
no one should let anyone do things that are against his will.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I'm sorry that your son was bullied. I worry about my kids getting bullied in school. So far I think they are doing okay. Thankfully our school seems to not be as bad with bullying. Although I'm sure there is some going on that no one sees. I tell my girls often that they are not to say mean things to anyone. From the time my daughter started preschool I told her she didn't have to be friends with everyone, but she should never be mean to anyone. She is very easy going and seems to get along with everyone so I think she'll do fine. I'm glad to see your son is doing so well with his life.
1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
my daughter who was very easy going also experienced mild bullying. it is important that parents make their children feel that they care so that they will voluntarily tell what's happening in school.
@ stowyk - i wonder why the bullies are not kicked out of school. here in our country. this is treated also as normal, as if nothing serious is happening.
@ stowyk - i wonder why the bullies are not kicked out of school. here in our country. this is treated also as normal, as if nothing serious is happening.1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
28 Oct 11
bingskee,
Having been bullied myself, I just know what to expect and how bullies would just about find everything they can think of and lay their hands on just to intimidate their target. Sometimes, I wonder why they had to make people's life miserable and not forgetting annoyance on themselves.
So, I told myself that I have to prepare my children at home before they enter their school. I would find ways to taunt, tease and even taught them to defend themselves when they are being shoved or targeted for a fight. I just felt that it is very important for them to be prepared mentally and have the physical fitness to deal with the physical aspects. Don't worry, the physical aspect is to evade, block and run as fast as their legs can carry to the nearest teacher or staff room.
I am glad that your son had really come off well with his issue and I wish him the best.
I am glad that your son had really come off well with his issue and I wish him the best.@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
28 Oct 11
i didn't prepare my children. i was not able to. but i believe i was able to make them feel that they have to stand up for themselves. it was an indirect way of teaching.
he is a peace-loving boy. he does not want hatred and animosity. he makes an effort to make things peaceful. and for that, i cannot understand those bullies.
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
24 Oct 11
I know you are very proud of your son!
I am so glad that he was able to stand up and make it through such trials as you described. School is supposed to be safe, but children can be very cruel - and sadly enough so can some teachers! Three Cheers for the son who made it through!!!
I am so glad that he was able to stand up and make it through such trials as you described. School is supposed to be safe, but children can be very cruel - and sadly enough so can some teachers! Three Cheers for the son who made it through!!!1 person likes this
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
thank you, macdingolinger! while listening to him, i was studying if he's still affected. i could still feel the frustration but there was no anger. i think he will never forget those experiences but knowing him, he will not brood about those but will move on with his life.
1 person likes this
@ardoy0731 (7308)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
Oh congratulations in advance to your son.It nice to hear that your son survive it and I think he is a good person.I do experience to be bullied but in my childhood too.I rather not to fight back at them cause I know it was not worth it.What I do was not the lend them my assignments or teach them the lesson lol.
1 person likes this
