should i hold on?

Philippines
October 25, 2011 3:35am CST
in every relationship, there is this rough road that they should pass. me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and we have been happy. lately he does things that annoy me. we had a fight once and what he did was to immediately put his facebook status to its complicated. another thing he did is when he added me to the reject list of his phone. i think these are childish ways of him and it annoys me. how should i deal with this mylotters?
2 people like this
15 responses
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
26 Oct 11
I would break up with him. But I can say that because I'm not in love with him. So in the end... I would depend on how much I love him and need him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
you are correct lore! sometimes it is easy to say things that we want to do but then it is very hard to carry out those actions. i am thinking veryhard right now on the next actions that i will do towards this relationship
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Boyfriend is really hard to understand. When me and my boyfriend encountered fights, because he is a some kind of chick boy that annoys me, I just try myself to be calm and convince to listen to all his lies because I love him. I guess being a childish is a boyfriend thing, boys always want a single life because they can do whatever they want. As a girlfriend don't control him and give him some freedom to do the things that he wants. Don't act as a mother, just act as a girlfriend cause that is what you are. I'm sure at the end, he will notice how good girlfriend you are.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
hello vyrose! thank you for that nice advice. i wont try to act as his mother and i will act as his girlfriend. i will try to support him on what he wants as long as those are not beyond the law. welcome to mylot by the way
@alienstar (5142)
• India
25 Oct 11
In relationships misunderstandings do happen and they happen only to bring two characters together as people will be off different kinds and for proper bonding between them, there had to be lots of misunderstandings which has to be corrected later on.But though it may seem unwanted and disturbing, there is no other way than to adjust yourselves and talk more and more trusting each other if you really love each other. Otherwise break it at once
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
hello alienstar! i agree with you that misunderstandings can never be deleted in any relationship since these also will allow the couple to know more of each other and will bring them to talk more also. i will re think if once and for all i will break it if i cannot bear it anymore.
@thought7 (132)
• United States
25 Oct 11
you're right. it is extremely childish. if you can, talk to him about how these actions make you feel. try to get to understand this situation. put yourself in his shoes and instead of asking "what would i do" ask yourself "why am i doing this". if you find that this guy isn't the kind of guy you want, then that's your answer.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
29 Oct 11
thank yout though7 for letting me know what questions i can ask myself that i can reflect on with my guy. good idea, i will really talk to him about those childsh actions so that he will realize that he has to act as a grown up and sensible man
@narnia007 (1050)
• India
25 Oct 11
Doing things to annoy and make you beg are little childish ways of expecting things from you when they are in love.Also there is a possibility that he may have something in mind and such things to avoid you and go away from you.Talk to him freely about this.If you are sure that he loves you truly and deeply,You can hold on to it as much as possible.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
hello narnia! thank you for your advice. i think that maybe he wants me to stop bothering him for a minute and so he uses these strategies so that i will give him a break. i think i will talk to him about this and also i can hold on for the moment but then maybe in the future i may not.
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
25 Oct 11
i think he is trying to ignore you..and i agree, that is a childish behavior.i think you need to let him be alone for him to realize his bad attitude..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
yes bubuth. i will give him a time out. i will leave him alone so that he will realize that what he has been doing to me is wrong and unfair. thank you bubuth
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 11
hi katrina looks like he is being childish not adult. perhaps if you two could sit down and calmly talk over the things that annoy you and him state what annoys him as there are always two sides to each story. you may need a marriage counselor although I see you do not believe in marriage so a couples counselor. he or she would be impartial and hear you both out.. are you living together and what he annoys you with is habits of his or what? communication between people who supposedly love each other is vital without it it just more fights and more fights.ask him bluntly if he still cares for uou and if so why does he do things to annoy you? how old is he and how old are you? He might not be as mature as you. boys are slower to mature than we women are. hope =this is worked out so you can both be happy again.
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
hi hatley! that is a great idea, getting a couples counselor so that we can sit down and talk and there is another person that can keep us objective. or maybe a close and trusted friend can act as one for us. will try to do that thank you so much!
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Most of them 'boyfriend' react the same way as ur bf did in and that is a childish act. Sometimes they do that because they want to annoy their girlfriend in order to do what they like. Others may have a new girl so they do such thing trying to watch your wrong move and that is,,they use it as a reason to leave girlfriend. Happilly now with a new one. Let him be what he did and try to be calm and stay quite, He will soon missed you. Be happy ..ignore what he did, someday it will be okay.
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
hello there mods! thank you for your advice. we do have girl instinct and i dont think that he is doing that because he has a new girl. i think he did that to annoy me so that i would leave him alone for a it. but you are correct, he missed me and he regret the things he did.
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
22 Jan 12
That's pretty annoying. Your boyfriend's attitude is pretty much like a girl's attitude. Try to reassess your emotion with this childish guy. It seems he is still very immature, staying longer with him is really a waste of time. If he will still do it again to you, then better call your relationship quit. You can still find better guys out there.
• Philippines
25 Feb 12
thank you for the opinion jlamela! right now my guy is already able to think over his emotions and also hold his harsh words, it took him sometime to practice it but i am glad that he is able to do it little by little. if he ever acts like that again, i surely will once and for all teach him a lesson.
@olepmis (840)
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
if i were you, i will set him free. your bf should not act like that and as you said, he is childish. an attitude like this is immature and would not fit as future husband or father of your would be children. be happy, you released yourself from further headache and pain.
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
hello olepmis. you do have a point but for the moment i have decided that i will give him a chance to prove himself and a chance to not to do it again and grow into a mature person. let me just wait and see and if my patience is already gone. bang!
• United States
26 Oct 11
We can't tell you based on the little info you have given us whether you should breakup with him or not. If someone does something that annoys you, sometimes it means that you have a communication problem and without nagging, state your feelings. It is childish to block someone's number, but Facebook is really trivial and not real life. We also don't know what you did as well. I mean, if you insulted his family or called him names, or threatened to break up, maybe he would react that way. I would just try to identify why you argue with eachother. Maybe you can come to a better understanding of each other. Have you refrained from childish behavior yourself? Did he block you temporarily or did he block you permanently? are you still blocked?
• Philippines
31 Oct 11
hello there something! he only blocked me for a couple of hours by the way and i never allowed him to forget of what he did to me - blocking me. i have refrained from childish behavior myself. i can say that i know how to be mature and to handle relationships because i have had 3 in the past. i am his first girlfriend, by the way
@voracious (624)
• Philippines
3 Nov 11
Good day katrinapaz I don't know what is the cause of your fighting but based on your testimony he made some irrational things like that maybe because he has some point to raised and you didn't agree with him so the fight is the result. It's only normal in a relationship to have fight sometimes and for now let him cool for a while and I believe he will come to you with a peace of mind and he will be ready to discuss some misunderstandings between you and him. Don't worry everything will be fine.
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
thank you voracious for being optimistic for me. i do agree that relationships are not always smooth sailing. there has to be fights and misunderstanding to further understand your partner. everything is fine now and i know in the future we still have a lot of fights to overcome.
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
Well, basically every relationship comes to a point where both of your personalities will be challenged by the other. It's like a pregnant woman who at first was so happy to find out that she has the capability to bear a child. But after 9 months of carrying that small creature in her womb, she has to deliver it and let it be born into this world. And the agony and pain that a woman undergoes in this stage is excruciating. (You might ask your mum about this.) The same thing goes for your present situation now. Not everything in it is a bed of roses. Not even life itself. Question is: Are you up for this challenge and take up your own cross in life? Or would you rather run away and deny yourself of the opportunity that can make you a stronger woman? Lastly, be thankful if he only used "It's complicated" in his FB account and put you in his reject list in his phonebook. That basically shows that there is still a part of him that cares about you. Why? Because he did not use "Single" and he did not erased your phone number.
• Philippines
8 Nov 11
hi there piloncitos! i am up for the challenge and i can still take up this cross. i think i have not reached yet the edge of my cup and if i do i will not hesitate to leave him so that he will grow up. thank you for letting me look at the brighter side. at lest he did not put in single and did not erase my phone number.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
25 Oct 11
I agree with you this is very childish behaviour. If my partner would do that to me I would delete him out of my life at once. It would be a sign to me our relationship is not stable enough. I think it's normal to have up and downs in your relationship and even fights. But like my man is always saying: the fight means nothing because I always love you.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Oct 11
wow! that quote from your man is very inspiring wakeupkitty! i like it so much. yes, it is correct that every relationship has its ups and downs and even fights. i think i will just give him another chance and the future actions that he may do to get into m nerves, then i shall delete him out of my life!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
8 Nov 11
people do many different things in anger or if they are really hurt...I think when these things happen as hard as it is to do I think you should both sit down and really have a good chat about what is going on, a lot of the time we think the other person knows how we are feeling and what we are thinking and that we are hurting...talk it out...good love is rare...