Why do you want to be my friend?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
November 6, 2011 4:12pm CST
It came as a surprise getting a number of friend's request from a specific country after responding to a discussion which has unfairly insulted my country and calling us a 'nation of thieves'. 
And worse when a responder rubbed more salt into the wound by degrading the women in my country by her defamatory remarks of calling us 'street hookers!' Being patriotic, I am forced to make right the wrongs and tell those who assumed they are always politically correct to leave matters of the nations to the leaders and we shouldn't become unofficial spokesman. What the hell has gone wrong to the right thinking society in mylot? 
I have always respected people here and uttering words that might offend others or their countries are not within my agendas and would never do that in the spirit of camaraderies. I fail to understand why people has the audacity to exploit this social site to gain column inches or whatever when it has always been an outlet for intellectual interactions and global friendships.
I am now at a crossroad whether to admit these new friends request as they are people from the same country as the starter of the discussion which I had responded who is also in my friend's list. Would you say 'yes' to these friends request if you are in my shoes?
And worse when a responder rubbed more salt into the wound by degrading the women in my country by her defamatory remarks of calling us 'street hookers!' Being patriotic, I am forced to make right the wrongs and tell those who assumed they are always politically correct to leave matters of the nations to the leaders and we shouldn't become unofficial spokesman. What the hell has gone wrong to the right thinking society in mylot?
I have always respected people here and uttering words that might offend others or their countries are not within my agendas and would never do that in the spirit of camaraderies. I fail to understand why people has the audacity to exploit this social site to gain column inches or whatever when it has always been an outlet for intellectual interactions and global friendships.
I am now at a crossroad whether to admit these new friends request as they are people from the same country as the starter of the discussion which I had responded who is also in my friend's list. Would you say 'yes' to these friends request if you are in my shoes?6 people like this
11 responses
@inertia4 (27978)
• United States
7 Nov 11
That is something I have never encountered here. I feel bad for you. But, if you feel strongly about the one person who posted the response, then do not accept that person. As for the others, although they may be from the same country as the poster, does not mean they share the same views as the poster. Go and read some of their posts and responses first before accepting or rejection and friend request. I think thats good advice.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
It is rare to get more than one request from the same country at any one time. It make me sceptical as I've just responded to their countryman discussion which have so much negativeness in it. They are new users and doesn't have much to their names. Maybe it is better to wait and see.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Not when they do the name calling they sure wouldnt be very good friends and you would be at war with them most of the time . tomany others here that are hee to learn of other cultures and help other countries to our clutures and just be friends no need for name calling
1 person likes this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
7 Nov 11
Well as i understand it it goes like this:
X friend on your list started a topic offensive to you and the rest of the women from your country.
Y,Z, T has asked to join your list of friends after you defended your reputation on X's discussion.
As long as Y,Z,T have done you no wrong and you want to have more friends you could add them.
I for one would delete X if X was the one who offended me with that topic.
If i misunderstood something please correct me
1 person likes this
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 11
Hi Zandi, if i was in your shoes, i think i will think twice before accepting any friend's request from the person who insulted me. I think everyone deserve a fair treatment from any site that they had joined. Hope you don't feel sad by the treatment that you have received. Hope to see you continue enjoying your stay in here like usual.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
Initially I was shocked when he throw muds at our beloved country Malaysia besides inciting others to mimic his actions. We are just ordinary citizens of the country and any problems involving neighbouring countries are for the leaders to settle. It is unfair to victimize the whole country and her citizens who may not be interested to have anything to do with the decisions of our leaders. Embarrassing the country and her people in this very special site is grossly wrong.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
7 Nov 11
Sad to hear about that, some people are really a know-it-all and don't really bother whether they're have offended someone or not. But after degrading your country and your women, I don't think I would add that person in my list. How would I befriend someone who looks down on me and treats me as a street hooker? 'Though I don't think it is fair not to accept all those people having the same country as that person, they might not know about the issues about it and just wanted to gain friends here at mylot.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
The starter of the discussion is already in my list and all I do now is just to ignore him as he doesn't deserve my responses to any of his future discussions and I will also remember those who responded to that discussion who danced along with his melody. As for the request for friends, I need to KIV them first as I am still not over with all the rubbish they have been thrown at us.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (169449)
• United States
7 Nov 11
Zandi, I am sorry that people are rude, but they are, everywhere. It may be that these others want to prove that they are better than their countryman. I know that you do not try to offend people, and in fact try very hard not to offend. I probably would accept them as friends and let them prove themselves. I do not look at countries when I add friends, in fact, I am not sure I could say what country you are from without looking at your profile. I think I know, but I may not.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
I understand that not everyone from the same country think likewise but since the OP has laid the foundation of hate for my country and all the baseless accusations thrown at us, I think he has the backing of his countrymen. In the light of all this bad mouthing I fear now of having to admit anyone from that particular country. It is only fair that I align myself with people of knowledge than having to waste my time in the battle of words with those who talk rubbish and raises my BP. 
1 person likes this
@skysuccess (8857)
• Singapore
7 Nov 11
zandi458,
In the first place, I do not think you and I will ever be able to know what these requester(s) intentions are until you see their responses or comments to your posts. However, if it is my case, I would be reporting these people to the admin for impropriety, character badgering, conduct unbecoming and decline their request.
I can do less of these insensitive individuals and improve my health. So, it will be a no no for them.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
8 Nov 11
I really don't know what were his motives as I try to make him understand where we Malaysian stand in the issues that he claimed to be injustice done to his country and his people but my responses all fell on deaf ears. He kept harping on issues that are beyond our control being people on the streets who care less of the government policies on international matters, I see no reason why I need to entertain his never ending rants as it will only create more bad bloods with others who barged in with their acid words. I won't engage in the battle of words anymore in that discussion as his championing his country's rights is in the wrong place as mylot is a place for socializing.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 11
There was one response which has since been deleted by admin has all the worse adjectives used to create an ugly picture of us. I just wonder whether she has ever reached our shore to come to such judgement. Some people thrive on their own weaknesses and believe they are more superior than others. Anywhere thanks for adding your views in that discussion and hope the OP realize how ignorant he is when he read your words intellectually. 
@skysuccess (8857)
• Singapore
8 Nov 11
zandi458,
I managed to read the argumentative post which started off as your country claiming the origins of a certain dish from his country.
I just had a good laugh on how he could have drifted from food to politics and I do not blame you for any of it when it is obvious that he had gotten some other agenda on his mind.
Anyway, let it go and you do not need to stoop so low as him. Believe me, wherever you are, you are sitting pretty well and proving the other party to be from village "I".
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
10 Nov 11
People can be soooo tacky & rude.I'm sorry they treated that way. I would be upset to id it had happened to me. It is sort of srange to me that all of a sudden u have these requests. They may not have anything to w/the jerk that started all this. I would probably accept them , i use to accept everyone but don't do that anymore so if u do accept them & they start any bull w/u, i wouls delete them. GOOD LUCK.
@Rosa26 (2616)
• United States
6 Nov 11
I wouldn't accept their invitation, because with people like that I don't want to have any relationship. I respect to be respected, and those people that don't know how to participate in a discussion people that want to impose over the other don't have space on my friend list.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
7 Nov 11
Exactly, birds of the same feather flock together. It surprised me to see people from the same country send me friends request just after I responded to the discussion. Though I have been civil in my responses but this person continue to add fuel to the fire which I suspect he doesn't really understand what I am trying to convey. I do appreciate healthy debates but with limits. There must be mutual respect on both ends.
