What advice would you give to a close friend who is rumored to be gay?

I know 3 people who are gay. One is female. They have never come out to me personally.. they have always been out by the time I knew them.. but I would never try to change who they are. It's important to be true to yourself. If God made you Gay, then it would be a lie to try and live a straight lifestyle. The word "lifestyle" just gave me a thought... when we straight people talk about our lives it is just our life... but when it is a gay or lesbian it is not their life but their lifestyle! Go figure?! Wonder why there is such a double standard there. If I were gay/lesbian i wouldn't want to be pressured into being something I wasn't. I wouldn't appreciate that at all.. so I would never force that on anyone.

I had a friend "come out" to me years ago. It was a very special moment for both of us; her that she admitted it to someone who is not part of the community, and for me as she trusted me that much. That being said, some people just don't like labels. Maybe he knows he is or is not, and just does not want that label associated with him. Maybe he is confused, and does not know who to trust. I think it would be easier for a man to talk to a close female friend about these feelings. I know that for my friend, as she is female, it was easier for her to tell me. Plus we had been friends for many years. I am not convinced that it is necessary to declare one way or the other. When I meet a girl for the first time, I do not say Hi I am "X" and I am hetro". In fact, the subject is not usually breached unless a friendship evolves to dating. And even then, a simple "I don't want to be more than friends", usually suffices.

If a friend is rumored to be gay, i would straightforward ask him if it is true. We are close friends so there should be no reason for him to deny it to me if it is indeed true. It doesn't matter if you are gay, what matters is i love you as my friend and you love me too as your friend.

as a friend, i will be happy for him/her for what decision he/she make. If they decide to let out their true sexuality, i will not stop them. I will still be there beside them. But I will also try to reason out to him/her about it. But I will do it without hurting their feeling. And if in the end they still choose to be gay, then I will respect their decision.

I would tell my friend that it is nobody's business who he sleeps with. If he wants to announce his choices, then he has to accept the consequences of going against what is considered normal. But, he doesn't have to talk about it.

Hello chiyosan, For rumours i can't do anything but he will still be my close friend as i don't get effected from the rumours. And if he admits himself to be a gay then also i have nothing to say or advice because i don't find anything abnormal with him and will continue my friendship with him. In my country GAYS are not accepted by the society easily as they have to hide it from others and even from themselves but people need to change their perspective and should understand that its not they who adopted it its God who have made them like this and we should accept them as what they are.

well unless they tell me themselves,I wouldn't be assuming anything about their sexuality. if there is gossip behind their back, what kind of a friend would I be to pay it mind. and if they come out to me, I will be there for them and support them. I would not advise them to live an unhappy lie, but to be true to themselves, and never feel they can't turn to me for support.

Of course this person should admit his true feelings. Noone should ever be afraid or embarrassed of who they are. If people do not accept him for who he is, then they are not worth his time. "Try to be straight??" This is not a good idea. This is just a recipe for trouble. No woman should have to waste their time with a man who is not attracted to her and the children do not need to go through this. Everyone deserves happiness and living a lie will never lead to happiness. A gay person can have a family of their own, but it should be with someone that they truly love, not with someone who is convenient. If they want to have children, they can adopt. There are tons of wonderful children without families who would love to be taken into a loving home.

Did your friend ask you for an advice or did he just tell you who he is? There is a big difference. If one of my friends would tell me he/she is gay (and I would not already guessed that long before) I would say: be yourself and love yourself. It's not interesting what others think or say about you. Only how you feel about yourself. And if it concerns a friend of mine I only want that friend to be happy.

I am a lesbian so I know that even how many times you tell him to be straight, he would never be. Being gay is not just a phase. It is our way of life and even if we want to change, we can't because this is who we are. The least you can do is accept him for what he is. You are his friend and if ever he comes out to you, he would need support from you. Discrimination still exists in this world, and if he felt this from you, he would definitely be depressed. Every gay person has his own time of coming out. I lived inside the closet for years until I decided I should come out. Let him dictate his own pace. Pressuring him would not do anything. Time will come that he would want to move freely and he would come out on his own way. Wait for that. It might take him long but we can't do anything about that. So I would say let him do what he wants. I know his already aware that he's gay but still cannot accept that fact. He's still on the period of accepting his self which is the hardest part of being gay. I was angry with myself before. I hit myself in the head (mentally ) whenever I find myself checking out other girls. It's hard. So just be on his side and try to make him feel that you love him enough to accept him whatever he is. Good luck!

Well, tell him to identify his association and once he's sure then to notify you, of course if he chooses too! Once you know his affiliation, then you guys can decide what to do as far as rumoring him correct! If he doesn't want peoplemto know the nature of his sexuality then he can choose to withhold private information to himself. It really doesn't matter what others think, just as long as you know!

Every person in the world has a freedom of expression. There is no taboo for a person to have gay relationship. In the Indian context the Supreme Court had given judgements where the persons having such relationships were not considered to have committed any offense. Even section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, 1860 is under tremendous criticism.