Is it possible to fall in love with 2 guys equally?

Nigeria
December 12, 2011 7:32am CST
My best friend's got two guys and she loves them equally...is it possible?...as in 50:50...the first is emmanuel...they have been together for 5 years,this was the guy that disvirgined her, and its very hard for anyone to come in between them, they have been together now for about 6years,no one could tell the guy anything negative about her he wont believe it, infact he always report such people to her and tell her to be careful with such people,he knows how to handle situations perfectly no matter how terrible the situation is between them,but the problem is,he is not romantic, he rarely calls,he doesnt know how to turn a woman on,infact generally,he"s worse with anything romance and for 6years,he cant work with her on d road and hold hands,he finds it difficult hugging.......u wont believe this.......THEY HAVENT EVEN SNAPPED ANY PHOTOGRAPH!!!...he isnt emotional at all, and he doesnt get bothered even if they dont speak for 3weeks,he says he guess she is fine and nothing has happened to her,so she is fine, but the second one is steven, he is romantic, he could trip her and make her world wonderful, but he gets upset easily, but when he is happy,he makes her forget everything she;s been through...steven is bad at handling situations, and she feels the relationship shakey becos she feels he;s back with his ex-girlfriend, and they have been talking more and she ask about the ex,he wouldnt say anything about it.... but steven says he loves her and everything is fine....what do u think?...i myself am so confused,please i need ur opinion on these
4 people like this
18 responses
@Dominique25 (9464)
• United States
12 Dec 11
I'm not your that a person can love two guys equally in a romantic way. I think one would win out over the other. But I have never experienced it myself so I'm just stating from my experience. It seems though that the one that she has been with for six years is the best. They seem to have a stable relationship. And even though steven may be romantic now he may not stay that way after they are together for awhile. Then she would have problems with him in all the other areas as not romantic, and the other things you mentioned. She should tell the first person that she has been with for a long time how she feels and what she would like their relationship to be like.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
thanks i appreciate your words
• United States
28 Jan 12
You are welcome. I hope that everything works out for your best friend. That she will be able to make a good decision. And to be able to be happy with the person that she decides to be with. Making decisions such as this can be very difficult.
@sjlskl (3382)
• Singapore
12 Dec 11
One is stable but boring and the other full of surprise yet is a coaster ride. Two direct opposition. It boils down to one thing, your friend does not know what she wants in a relationship. From your description, she prefers to be with Steven. As for Emmanuel, it could be because she is used to having him by her side. I don't think losing her virginity plays a part here.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmm, nice words!
@maximax8 (31136)
• United Kingdom
12 Dec 11
I think that your best friend is torn between these two men and thinks she can have both of them. It is possible she loves both of them equally. Due to Emanuel not being so romantic she likes the romance that Steven gives her. Steven has been seen with his ex-girlfriend so it doesn't look like your best friend will end up with him. She should try to be honest with Emanuel about how they could improve their relationship. Then she could break things with Steven but keep happy memories of him. If Steven is her soul mate she should leave Emanuel.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
but how would she know if steven is the soul mate?
@safety69 (592)
• Taiwan
12 Dec 11
I think yes is possible to be in love with two at the same time, yes . one gives you what the other can not give . I you are young and dont have kids is easy to deal with this situation but , if you have kids that makes it more difficult, because you have to think of them , and if is worst to loose what you got untill now. You know the description of the second guy , I think he is a liar, just be careful dont loose all for nothing, think very well , what to do , if you are on time dont complicate your life.
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
I think it has been said by one lotter over there. I also think it is best to think things over and end up the relationship with both guys. Both have qualities that your bestfriend don't like. So it's better to go single again who knows she might find someone perfect. 'Though I know there's no one perfect in this world.
1 person likes this
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmmm, thanks enelym
@JER616 (545)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
Honestly, such intimate narration of your "best friend's case" makes me believe that your friend's name is "YOU". Falling in love with two guys at the same time is effectively cheating both of them. Nonetheless, I think both guys are immature enough to handle a relationship. Why not end your relationship with both and weigh things over on who of both deserve "her" love?
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
So odd but I also felt it was her talking about her two boyfriends. Maybe she's just protecting herself.
1 person likes this
@djbtol (5495)
• United States
13 Dec 11
No, I don't think she can really love two guys equally. She is finding things about each of the two men that she likes, but that is not the same. Yet, I imagine when people are in that situation, they tend to convince themselves of the mutual love. They push that idea on the bachelor tv shows and such. There a girl can be in love with several guys at once. By the way, I have never seen the term disvirgin before. It might be valid since I immediately knew what you meant.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
okay, but i didnt actually get that clearly
• United States
13 Dec 11
I think your friend needs to break with both. Emmanuel may love her but he can't show it , and she Needs that . That is why she got with Steven. But Steven is Too emotional. And he has another too.But there is a guy out there who is the best of both. He is thoughtful And can and will express his love the way she needs it. But she has to come to this conclusion herself. To answer your question , yes it is possible to love two at the same time but equally? I am not too sure. There is always one you love just a little bit more. I hope your friend can figure out which guy she loves most.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmm, thanks a lot for ur response, i guess i have to talk to her on part of what u just said, thanks a lot
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45458)
• Canada
13 Dec 11
People are so mixed up these days so that anything is possible. Honestly, I don't understand how she can love any of them?
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
waow...thats a different answer,so what do you think then, what is your advice or what do u think is best?
@1hopefulman (45458)
• Canada
17 Jan 12
Wouldn't it be better that she finds someone she can love 100%? These men are lovers and not love. Does she even know what love is?
@fantabulus (4001)
• India
12 Dec 11
Danger question it is very hard to say the answer you are asking like it is possible maintain two wife at a time haha.... I think the people who fall in love may be respond on your discussion.
@bb_gabs (205)
• Philippines
13 Dec 11
There is a saying that you cannot serve two masters at the same time, so I think, you cannot love to persons at the same time equally. In the situation, I think, your friend love the second guy just because it fills the things the other guy don't give him, and to think that we are all not perfect, sometimes we are just confused on love and happiness. I know that you find happiness in love, but it doesn't mean that you love that person if he gives you happiness. Try to weigh things out and choose the person you think you cannot live without.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
waow, i think i learnt something new from here....thanks a lot from the contribution
• Philippines
13 Dec 11
No, I think it is not possible. Time will come that you will be choosing between the two since your heart cannot love two persons at the same time. It is just like doing something. You cannot do two activities at the same time.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmmmm...thanks but its possible because the two of the leave quite far away from each other...i mean the guys
• Philippines
13 Dec 11
It seems that your "best friend" was not happy with her bf for 6years, she got bored overtime they were together for doing things exactly the same over and over. so when the 2nd man came into the picture who brought a completely different world from what she been to she immediately got interested and excited with the new world she is right now. she love the admiration, time and other things this man is giving her for she was like a prisoner in her old world. All she need is talk to her bf for 6years and tell him what she feels, and what she wanted to feel with their relationship.She should try convincing her bf to try doing different things than what they were used to and they should do it together as couple instead of finding other who could give her that. if after doing that her bf doesn't change and she think she was not happy anymore then should end up the relationship and find someone who could give her what she wants.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
waow, i really like your repsponse, thank you for that
• Philippines
13 Dec 11
My hands up! Precisely possible, when she stays in both relationship and love them equally. ORIGINAL GUY: The only thing that holds her tight grip is because she is basically committed with that's why she couldn't let him go. He's the guy that everyone knows she's with. They've been for 6 years and their both side family are used to see them completely. Even if they're miles away, they both know the other is beside one another. SECOND GUY: He possessed all the qualities she couldn't find find with her boyfriend. She makes her happy, more open, more adventurous moments together, much romantic and thoughtful and sweet and much more like a boyfriend than the first. I wont agree that it is 50:50 but it's probably 25:75. Both are there that's why she cannot say who's more important for her. This is very indeed complicating, happy now worse later. Tell your friend to choose where she's happy and comfortable. I believe in the saying that, if you love 2 persons, choose the second one, because if you really love the first you would've choose to love another person.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmm, thanks a lot for going to analyse garcia...thanks for your response i appreciate
• United States
13 Dec 11
Yes it is possible for someone to fall in love with two people simultaneously.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
really? has it happened to you beofre?
• Indonesia
13 Dec 11
I thought the question is same with if it is possible to drive two cars equally. I think there is no one who could drive two vehicle at equal time. You have to have interval between two of them. I think the one who answer this question was her. She might think that she was possible to fall in lone.
@cearn25 (3456)
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
I don't think I can do it. I don't have the guts. But I know some people who loves two people at the same time. I see it as a wrong doing because in life there can't be two persons in our heart.
• Philippines
12 Dec 11
I think falling inlove with two guys are weird. It is not called "love". your friend think of that because her First boyfriend taken her for granted . And when the time comes and everything is end up. She will realized that is not a love. Well, I'd rather to be single than to be treated like that.
• Nigeria
17 Jan 12
hmmm......thanks for that basha