It Hurts You Know :(
By xien2xien
@xien2xien (1382)
Philippines
January 9, 2012 12:33am CST
Why would someone breaks your own gift in front of you. To make the story short, i took a vacation at some far away place from my home, it was supposed to be a 3 days vacation only but it extend for 5 days. Before i leave the city i made a promise to my friend that we will have a bonding when i get back from vacation but since i extend my stay there for some personal reason she got mad at me, and when i visit her in their house to give my sorry gift that i bought from where i took my vacation, she just throw it in the floor that makes it breaks into pieces.
I just felt very sad and upset cause it caused some amount of money plus i keep on asking for forgiveness that i didn't came back on the said date we talk about, but in fairness to her when i knew that i would not be able to come home i send her a message to let her know but still she's mad and angry at me.
Finally i got tired of asking for forgiveness and trying to fix the damaged it caused us both but she's cold as ice and hard as stone, so before i left i just said that being you like that it hurts me also you know 
5 people like this
18 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
9 Jan 12
That is just plain rude and hurtful, she must have more of an issue, maybe she thinks there is something other than what there is, maybe she thinks you are keeping something from her, maybe.. I hope you can patch things up...
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i'm not keeping anything from her, it's just that i came home late from my extended vacation and i don't know why is she making this really a big issue for both of us, plus i really don't know why she didn't think that i texted her that i will not be there on that day to prevent her from waiting for nothing, and i don't know too why we just can't continue the bonding and the plans even if it's later than the date set
2 people like this
@prettyruby (350)
• United States
10 Jan 12
I agree with lilaclady - she's overreacting and way out of line. It is never ok to behave like a child throwing a temper tantrum when you're an adult.
I do hope you end up having some sort of resolution to this, but I think you're better off without a selfish friend like her.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I didn't know that it will be like this big issue between us since i've already explained my side on her on why i extend my vacation there, i just don't know why she can't accept it and be like that narrow minded in up to the end.
anyways thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
9 Jan 12
Hi xien,
Your friend sounds very childish and self-centered. If I got angry with my friend every time he/she had to change up plans, I'd be angry all the time and I suspect that I would not have many friends. Things happen and at least you let her know that you would be delayed. I have never broken a gift deliberatly nor would I for any reason. This so-called friend of yours really doesn't sound much like a friend at all. You had nothing to be sorry for and she is being unreasonable. You have already apologized far too much for doing nothing wrong. It's good that you at least knew to walk away from this. If I were you, I'd just keep walking.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
10 Jan 12
Oh. So she just doesn't believe you and thinks you are making up a story? What does she think you were really doing? It just sounds kind of unreasonable to think you'd be lying about that. Oh well, I hope she calms down soon and things get back to normal for you. I hate being in a bad spot with someone I care about too. It does hurt.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
first of all i'm not wanting for this friendship to end since we've got undergone much worst misunderstanding before that in the end we still stay as friends i'm just waiting for her to calm herself down and accept my reason.
second on the last night of supposed to be vacation, we've gone to this party and on the worst part i misplaced my wallet so for a simple reason i've got to find it or at least find money to go home but she thinks that i'm just making stories cause i have my wallet back my friend's friend give it back to me when i left it in the bathroom that luckily she uses next to me
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
9 Jan 12
I that she behaved in a very childish way. I guess she was very hurt and disappointed, but I still don't think that her behaviour is okay. It sounds like she takes things very personally. You changed your plans and decided to stay a bit longer, but you didn't do it because you wanted to hurt her or reject her. Maybe she talks it personally and feels like your vacation was more important than her, but that is her interpretation and not the truth. You already apologized to her, and I think it is up to her to take the next step.
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
yeah i also think that i've already did my part of asking for forgiveness and explaining my whole part so that she could understand me and accept my apology, as of now i'm just waiting for her heads to cool and and soon hoping that we could continue our plans and bonding even on a late date than what we've planned
2 people like this
@madugulagopi (1093)
• India
9 Jan 12
That is very sad to hear and it is very rude on her part to not to listen to your side of the story. Anyway I can understand that she might have thrown away the gift with anger but not listening to you even after you have asked sorry for so many times is simply unacceptable if she really treats you as her friend. Anyway leave her for herself for somedays. May be then she will realize her mistake and come back to you. If she doesn't then I don't think she deserves to be your friend anymore. Don't blame yourself for the mistake and the situation you are in now. Its not your mistake at all.
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
yeah that's what i've been doing since that bad day happened between us, i just wish that she'll learn to accept my apology and forgive me in the end, it was very sad to end our 8 years of friendship just because of this little misunderstanding, as of now i'm giving her time and space to think of my part
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
10 Jan 12
hello there stowyk, i'm also really hoping that things will be back the same as before, i'm hoping also for her forgiveness as soon as possibly, i'm also waiting for sometimes for her to calm herself and be ready to mingle with me again
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
What kind of a friend she is to you?
SHe should understand you. It's okay for friends to fight and get mad with each other. But you have apologized to her. That should make her understand. DId she missed a big event that you and her have to go to?
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
no she didn't miss any other event except for the bonding that we plan was almost perfect and before i left the city she was excited for that day, but what i'm telling her is that we could still do the plan and the bonding on a later date but she's upset and got mad at me
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
it's good that you cooled up your head for just a few hours, i hope my friend could do that too but sad it's been days since this situation occur...
thanks for the goodluck
1 person likes this
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
even my bonding moment with my bestfriends didn't push through as planned on my birthday! I got a bit mad but after a few hours I understood that there's always a day for us to see each other and spend our time to bond together.
Oh well, hope she'll cool down.
1 person likes this
@emdjay23 (1575)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I just don't understand why she reacted that way, I guess it's just a petty thing and she doesn't need to over react.. and throwing your gift on the floor is not good too, she doesn't even think that your feeling might get hurt if you do that..
I guess, you've made your point, you've done your part, if she is really your friend she will understand you not the other way around..
In my part, if my friend does that to me.. I would definitely ask myself "is she really a friend?"
FRIEND ACCEPTS YOU, UNDERSTANDS YOU AND LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT HINDRANCES OR OBSTACLES COME YOUR WAY..
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
9 Jan 12
If you let her know, I can see why she would be disappointed, but she is having a rather big reaction to a small thing. Hopefully this passes and she accepts your apology.
1 person likes this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
It looks like she's not worth your friendship if she can't even bother to hear you out or forgive you. If she still won't accept your apology even after a long time, I guess she's not a true friend. And, all the people here were right. I find it rude that she smashed your gift. She could have just handed it back. Maybe it's understandable that she was really angry. But, she had control over her reaction to her anger. Not worth keeping as a friend, if I were you.
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i'm still thinking that this kinda thing won't happen if i came home on date so i forgive her for breaking my gift for her it can be replace at some other gift but eight years of friendship is what i'm thinking at this time and i'm still hoping that someday she'll soon forgive me and we can continue the bonding that didn't happen and the things that we plan for that day
thanks for the comment anyways
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i've already forgive her since at the back of my mind i am thinking that this would never happen if i came home on time, as of now she's the one whose still mad at me and not talking to me, i'm just waiting for her pain to melt and forgive me some other time
thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@Aja103654 (5646)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I don't think that you breaking your promise to her justifies her destroying your gift. To be frank, I think your friend is too much of a drama queen.
Maybe it's pint up stress that caused her to act like that?
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
yeah i understand about the gift that she broke, but what i really don't get is that she's making this a really huge issue between us while i'm asking for forgiveness and giving her the guarantee that we can still do the plan whenever she likes now that i'm back from my extended vacation
thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@AidaLily (1450)
• United States
10 Jan 12
She sounds like she has more of an issue than just the amount of time spent. Maybe she doesn't believe that you couldn't come back earlier and you just stayed to spite her or something. I am not saying this is true, but she might feel that way. I would not keep trying to apologize as she apparently is still too upset about whatever it was. Just let it go and wait a longer period of time like a couple weeks or more and try again. If she still acts like this, then just let it go until she approaches you. After that last time, tell her well this is my last approach so if you want to talk again then i will wait for you to do so.
1 person likes this
@parascevi (313)
• Greece
9 Jan 12
I think that you should leave her some space. I am sure that she will think about it again and her reaction and she will ask you back. Maybe she is just still very very mad.If she really loves you and cares about you then she will eventually forgive you.
1 person likes this
@blackslip010 (2)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
I guess you friend was just really hurt. Just let her cool her head though it might take a while. The important thing is that you don't give up on her. 'Cause true friends never give up. Just be there for her and if she's really a friend, she'll come around.
1 person likes this
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
9 Jan 12
i'm not giving up on her after all we've been friends since our high school days and we we have more fights much harder than this one so i guess i'll just keep on waiting for her to talk to me again and forgive me
thanks for the comment
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
18 Jan 12
Hi xien2xien,
I can just imagine how hurt you would be feeling in this situation. The thing is, you didn't do anything wrong so she had absolutely no reason to act that way...so, you stayed a couple of days extra, big deal. How is that a problem??
For her to behave this way and to continue to be angry with you and cold towards you is just too extreme and I'm sorry to say, not the behaviour of a true friend. She is being nasty and petty for no reason.
Have tosay, I love your avatar.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Jan 12
hi xien2xien thats horrid. I guess she really let her anger get the
best of her. Buts that about as rude, unkind and hateful as anyone
can be to throw your gift on the floor and break it.She evidently
needs some anger lessons in how to control her temper.now you both
gave her a gift and apologized to her so she needed to keep a reing
on her temper.Now two people are hurt, you and her and you went the extra mile to explain and apologize. I think she now owes you an
apology too.Sometimes anger makes us just plain unreasonable. maybe later she will apologize to you.
@Bamboee (645)
• United Arab Emirates
10 Jan 12
"Hugs xien" !!
dont be let down my friend, I guess she is very possessive about you.
Your her friend, you might know her way of showing anger..
It was very upsetting what she did, no good friend shall do that no matter what..
Maybe she has her reasons, and if she is not accepting your forgiveness..
She give her some space, she will come around..
But when she does you have the right to explain her what she did was wrong and hurting.
Show her the picture of what she did, tell her if you were in my shoes how would you have felt?
I am sure she will feel sorry for what she did, and then you will be friends again :)
Dont judge your friend with one incident. Remember the good times u had together..
I am sure things will be better later on..
Give her some time :)
Your a very nice friend, I am sure she will realize that..
:)
