Spouse not able to work..stay or leave?
@Flirtykumquat (927)
United States
January 10, 2012 10:10am CST
I have a friend who confided in me that her boyfriend is unable to find work because of his criminal past. When he does an application it gets turned down due to background checks. He does have a little side job but she is the bread winner. She doesn't know how much longer this is going to go on for and she is at a point in her life where she wants to start settling down and have children. But in the back of her mind she wonders will he ever be able to provide for her and is scared. She loves him but just wants better. If you were in this situation would you leave or still stay?
2 people like this
11 responses
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
13 Jan 12
I think if she really love the guy she must stay on their relationship. The guy like his boyfriend need more of his support and love,and as girlfriend she must show it because i think if she will leave the guy,the guy will lose his confident on his self and he will also lose his hope to find a new girlfriend.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
13 Jan 12
I see that as a sort of catch 22. Let me explain what I mean. The guy has a criminal past, and being it is hard to find a job in this economy already, ex-cons have a harder time finding works because of their back grounds. So, I feel if she really loves him and believes in him, then she should maybe stay with him and work through it. Now, if she just feels like he will never do anything, and use his past as an excuse, then thats a different story.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
11 Jan 12
If I loved him I would stay with him despite the problems. I would be worried about his job situation if I knew that is was very difficult for him to find a job, but I wouldn't leave him because of those problems. I would encourage him to keep on trying and trying, and hopefully he will manage to find a job one day. If it is completely impossible I would consider starting our own business instead of working for others or look for other ways to solve the problem.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
12 Jan 12
At some nights when I stay up late, I see different sorts of commercials and info-mercials. I remember one night seeing one that 'fixes' criminal records. I wasn't really listening, but I think it's like a pardon which erases the criminal record. Maybe it would just be as easy as this for your friend.
Or there is always business. If he can focus his energy on building a business then maybe he doesn't have to find employment.
@LovingMyBabies (85290)
• Valdosta, Georgia
12 Jan 12
My husband is out of work right now because he got hurt at work. I wouldnt leave him. He has always worked construction and theres been plenty of times he got laid off and things like that. I love him and we have been through many hard times but in the end we are in love and thats what matters!
Construction a lot of times anyone can get a job in. You might want to tell your friend that...
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
11 Jan 12
It's tough these days so I can understand why she was worried about her boyfriend not getting a job. But if she really love him, she would still be there for him. Maybe he could later find a good job or use some of his skills to make a good living.
@flowerchilde (12529)
• United States
11 Jan 12
It would depend on the quality of the relationship, and what I wanted. If I liked to live simply and wasn't into lots of stuff or a lot of entertainment (i.e. not needing much money) but if I wasn't into that I too would have some serious thoughts. It's good for children to have a stable home life and foundation.. So I'd want to figure it out before having children..
@lologirl2021 (5542)
• United States
10 Jan 12
Well its a hard situation to live by. If they love each other and that means alot to them then they should work it out and live for what they have, of course times get tough in this economy right now but living is the best thing they have right now. Of course in time he will need to get a job and he needs to get out and put his resume and applications in everywhere he can even if it is McDonlads the money is better than nothing coming in.
I would also let them know that he can make some type of money from working online if they have internet where they live. It wouldnt be alot but it would be of course better than nothing as well. Trying to get guys to come on here is hard but if they saw what they could do online it might change there mind and get things rolling for them in the end.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Jan 12
For me, I would say that I would stay if I really did love the other person in the relationship. The reason that I say this is because I don't feel like a relationship revolves around money. The fact is from what you are saying is that he wants to work. It might take some time for him to find a job, but it is something that he will be able to do given enough time looking for a job. The other alternative would be that he start thinking about his skills and start a business of his own.