fake relationship better than no relationship?
By alina
@swissheart (6482)
Romania
January 17, 2012 4:27pm CST
I don't understand why some people would stay in a relationship with someone even if they don't feel anything for the person next to them.. I know many people in this situation and I really don't get it. my best friend is dating two guys at the same time...another friend of mine has been dating a girl for quite some time now aldo he doesn't feel anything for her...why would you do that?is it because of the fear of loneliness?
3 people like this
13 responses
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
18 Jan 12
I totally agree with you. I can't be fake. I'm the type of person who likes to give everything. I won't say no...I did this in the past but it was a big mistake. he was a great guy and I tought that in time I could get to love him..but I couldn't. and we broke up obviously...I gave him the chance to find someone else who would make him happy the way he deserves
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
20 Jan 12
Ouch! sorry to hear about it, my friend. But you I still looking for someone who mean to be for me. Because I fail to find the right lady in me. I want a relationship that is real I don't want to have love which in the end it will be broken down...
I want to look a lady having love with no condition because that terms will show no matter what will be stay forever for better or worse that is love...
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
20 Jan 12
I'm sure you will find her aerous...because I hope that not all the good people are gone
@yanzalong (18984)
• Indonesia
18 Jan 12
At the beginning of the relationship, the feeling hasn't grown yet. But I am sure, the more they meet each other, the feeling for each other will grow, and form a more serious relationship. I can not say that it is a fake relationship. Do you agee?
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
20 Jan 12
as long as both individuals want to make the relationship work ...I agree. but I'll tell you in my case...as I said I tried this too. he was a great guy and he really wanted things betweeen us to work. In a certain way I wanted that too...but I couldn't do it. Idon['t know why but I simply couldn't see him as my boyfriend. things were great between us when it didn't come to kissing and stuff like that. I know he is a great guy and he deserves much better...someone who would love him as he deserves
@yanzalong (18984)
• Indonesia
21 Jan 12
I see. So, in your case, you can't fall in love with him, and it's probably because he's not the right type (despite the fact he is a great guy). Does it probably take a long time for you to accept him into your heart?
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
20 Jan 12
this might also be a factor...you're used to him/her but you're also scared of the unknown...you can't imagine how your life if going to be without that person next to you
@marty3888 (2355)
• Acme, Michigan
17 Jan 12
I think fear of lonliness is a part of it - having someone is better than having no one, and maybe he isn't sure how long it would take to find someone new. Another thing could be familiarity. He knows her and all her little quirks and when you find someone new, you have to learn all those things about them. Now as for your best friend, I don't understand that either. Sooner or later it's just going to cause trouble and she may end up with no guy.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
18 Jan 12
there is no problem about that because the next day she'll find someone else. but I don't know where she wants to get with that. I asked her are you happy with what you're doing...she said no.and then I asked her why are you doing this? her answer left me...she said something like this-she wants to get revenge for all the women who suffered because of men. she doesn't realise that those guys maybe didn't do anything wrong
@palonghorn (5479)
• United States
18 Jan 12
I think that the fear of loneliness can be a factor, also being raised that that's how it's 'supposed' to be can have something to do with it. Kinda funny, my daughter and I were discussing this earlier. The mindset that you 'have' to have a relationship. A lot of people go through that after a breakup or divorce, and they end up settling for the first one that comes along, whether it's the right one or not. I am like you, I don't understand being with someone you don't have feelings for and/or doesn't have feelings for you. I have come to realize that being single is better than being in that type of relationship, because neither can really be happy.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
20 Jan 12
I think the same...it's much better being single than being in a sick relationship. but sometimes you feel the need to be loved, to have someone to come home to...I"m terrified with this perspective: coming home and finding the house empty. this is why I intend to get a pet...call me silly but at least this way I'll know that someone loves me unconditionally
@myzhian (584)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Sorry swissheart, but I don't believe that their is such as fake relationship, all of them are true but differ in quality based of feelings to each other or personal minds. Fake relationship or it can be an open relationship are terms use by people who are afraid of commitment, long time relationships or rather scared to be left alone! Maybe this is a kind of weakness in love!
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
17 Jan 12
I think a lot of people hate that starting again thing, and I think it is just easy for people to stay with what they are used to and then there are people who may not be overly rapt in someone anymore but they would not like anyone else to have them so they stay there, maybe deep down these people like their partners more then even they think.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
I do not know what to say regarding having fake relationship because i have not tried one, on the other side I do not want to fool myself staying in a relationship when I know I do not have feelings for him. I rather spend my time with my pets because i know I am not faking myself when we are playing at home. Seriously, I will not spend my time with the people i do not like and love. It is a matter of trust and comfortability for me. There are people who like me that I dislike, although they are nice, I will not be spending my time with them because I do not know how to do with them. If I like the people I am with I know I will be spending my time strolling in the mall, watching movie, dining in the restaurant, window shopping, there are lots of things I can recommend them to do and they will surely enjoy my company. I agree to have no relationship than the fake one, because it is not happy to fool yourself and not good too.
@youless (112113)
• Guangzhou, China
18 Jan 12
I don't think a fake relationship is better than no relationship. As a fake relationship can really break the heart and it needs to be a long time to feel better. A fake love wastes each other's precious time. And it will not have an ending. I don't get it.
I love China
@enelym001 (8322)
• Philippines
18 Jan 12
Fear of loneliness - Yeah that's the reason of some people.They don't wanna be alone. They used to have someone with them and the thought of being alone will bore them and make them feel so sad. So some dated two guys or girls. I just don't get it what satisfaction would people get to love someone they don't truly love. It will just be a waste of time instead of finding the right one for him/her.
@kadamakash (66)
• India
18 Jan 12
It is good if both wants to do a time pass , but if it is about real love then don't think about it .
