A reason for a marriage to fail?

I have been in a relationship for 7 years now but not yet married you know things really changes and even people do they adjust in time but in a relationship no matter it change that will always depend on how they would handle the situation and adopt with the changes to make it work all through the end.

I think what you heard on TV is absolutely true. Women get with men because they promise to change to "become the man she dreams of." Men get with women because they promise they'll never change - mentally, physically, or whatever - and then, sure enough, the women end up changing! Change is so constant; I'd be scared to promise someone I'd never change. Certain things I'll never bend on, but in general, I think individuals are always growing. Life is a walk, a run, if you will. It's not a stand-still kind of thing. Having said all of that, I don't think a woman should marry a man with the hopes of him changing once they're married. That never works! Once they're married, he has no incentive to change anyway because he's already got the girl! As I explained earlier, it's easy for a woman to say the words and promise her man she'll never change once they're married, but sure enough, down the road, it happens. Like you, I don't think the issue is gender-based at all. It happens to all of us. I think the main issue is that people need to stop giving themselves reasons for their marriages to fail. I know divorce is tough, but every couple looks at it as a "way out." If this thing doesn't work out, they can always get out of it. Is divorce too easy? Maybe. Perhaps that's why couples don't think twice before jumping into a marriage. Anyway, to answer you last question...my thoughts on why the marriage ends...yes, I think it could be because one spouse changes, and the other does not. Naturally, that causes them to grow apart. I also think people get lazy. They stop learning about one another. They stop caring for one another. It's selfishness. It's easier to keep doing the annoying thing your spouse hates when it'd really be worth it to figure out and listen to what s/he prefers. I know this because I've done it, and I see it. I'm lazy in my marriage sometimes. I know what my husband loves and hates, but not always do I act on it. I know he'll stay with me no matter what because he's patient. I'm grateful for that, but I don't need to take advantage of it. Like anything, marriage takes maintenance. You'd be surprised at what a little hand-written "love note" left in my hubby's jacket pocket does once he finds it...that gives him such a boost. Can't tell you the last time I've done that, but I know he loves it! I think along with all of this, marriage is one of those things that gets pushed to the side when people get busy. People work harder at work than they do at their own marriages. They aren't content and don't realize what they have waiting at home for them. Some people cheat; it's sad. I think if you're in a committed relationship, you should be committed to your partner. It's not fair to them if you look outside that realm, if you know what I mean. I don't think cheating or changing/not changing is the main issue as to why marriages fail. Those are only some of the results of the deeper-lying issue. The biggest thing is laziness and lack of commitment/honesty. Marriages are expected to work without any maintenance, but that's not how it goes. It's really sad how spouses and partners are thrown away or given up like possessions. These are people with lives and feelings and hopes and dreams; not something that can be thrown away or tossed out. Really great point made here and excellent discussion, my friend!

I think the main reason marriages fail is lack of commitment. Of course people change over time! That's life. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone who didn't change, grow, mature, find new interests and so on. A mature person should realize that they as well as others do change, but if you're going to marry, you have to commit to living through those changes. Commitment is something people don't seem to understand any more, so it's no wonder that the divorce rate is so high.

We all change, the thing is to be happy. If you don't pay attention to your relationship, it will fail. You have to try everyday to be a good spouse, don't take anything for granted and build a strong and meaningful relationship. Treat your partner like you just got together, have romance, respect and understanding. The problem is people get selfish and forget what it's like to be a good husband/wife.

In marriage if thinking doesn't match, then chance is necessary for balancing life. Sit with your partner and talk freely about changes and dislikes. Try to fix it with discussion. If you both are able to change yourself little bit, that would be good for your life. Change is not a key, talking freely and discussing about problems is key. We have to do some adjustment to balance life. Life is like riding a bicycle - in order to keep your balance, you must keep moving. - Albert Einstein.

There's a various reason why a marriage fail. Every reason depends on the couple. One of the main factor is that they forgot what's their priorities. A marriage is not just about you love each other but it's a new chapter in our life wherein we our going to be responsible enough to build our own family.

Hey Sarah... Change is the only constant thing, ever.. If the fact is accepted by everyone then there will be less problems in marriages... LOL... I am dreaming, ain't I? I am so tired today. Have travelled the whole day and now working the whole night... LOL About the issue at hand, I would say, we should accept that things are going to different someday... :) Thank you... Take care...

I suppose it depends on whether either party can cope with how the other one changes, or whether if both change, it's in the same direction or not, or if in different directions, one that is harmonious to both parties. If they grow too far apart, say with one changing and the other not, or both changing but too far apart, then the marriage will probably fail. I don't know how this stands in other parts of the world, but I notice that where I live, in more recent years, couples seem to expend all of their hopes, dreams and energies into just the wedding day and lose sight of what comes afterwards - so, often have problems settling into domestic life together. It's almost as if they are marrying just to dress up, have a party and a honeymoon in some exotic location, feeling as though that will be enough to sustain their relationship for a lifetime.

I think the show makes sense but I also agree that it might not be so gender specific. Change is inevitable but I think they key is that the couple change together and continue to share their lives with each other. It's the growing apart that seems to be a big problem too. I think that a marriage based on thinking the other should or will change is one that is pretty much doomed from the start. Especially if the person doesn't know from the git go that they are expected to do so.

Marriage is an unique concept, it needs lot of adjustments from both the guy and the girl, they should have consideration for each other, that is really life, failure in understanding cause havoc's when a guy has his marriage, he marries a girl, but a girl marries a whole family lol

I agree. In my case it was the evil ex who changed. I am the same person I always was. And she knew that going in. So, if she was expecting someone else, she is the @ss. But mine ended for more then just that. And I am not in the mood to go into everything. Hey Now.

I have been married for almost 15 years. My husband and I will celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary on the 8th of February. I am not an expert when it comes to marriage because every marriage is unique and every couple has different types of personality. My husband and I have our share of rough seas too when it comes to our marriage but we managed to overcome them. There are lots of reason why marriage fails. To name some of them, these are lost of self respect with one another, lost of trust, fallen out of love, financial problems, unresolved differences, infidelity, and many more others. You mentioned about a woman or man should change. It is alright to change for the better to make compromises and to meet halfway especially if there are some difference of views or opinions. A person who comes into marriage should adjust himself/herself to the spouse. Although it is quite an effort but it can be done if there is love and respect with one another. Love in a marriage is very important for it to become successful and to overcome whatever problems or obstacles that they will encounter. A wife or husband should not attempt to change his/her wife/husband. Why? Because you cannot change a person or let other person do what you want. This is something that is usually the root of most misunderstanding because one has the tendency to attempt to change the other. This is impossible and if you do this you will only end up hurting yours spouse. Change should come from the person himself. A couple who love each other and are committed to making their marriage successful will learn to become sensitive with each others feelings and they will learn to be more patient, understanding, and willing to change themselves for the better and more importantly, they will be more selfless instead of selfish. By doing all of these, they will be able to solve whatever differences and conflicts that arise. I believe that one thing that binds a couple stronger together is their faith in God and constant prayers because with God, nothing is impossible.

Success in marriage for me depends on how God is involved in the marital partnership. If both spouses acknowledge God within their lives and follow His commandments for husband and wife, they will experience how God can preserve the love within themselves and how can He guide and bless their relationship. You're right, sarah, it isn't gender specific.

i understand wat you mean

I agree that this could be the cause of many divorces. People don't realize when they get together their siginifcant other IS going to change. In one way or another people change over the years. Whether they become more social, more independent, more secure, more withdrawn, whatever it is THEY WILL CHANGE. When this occurs a marriage must be strong enough to stand weather the storm or it is destined to fail.

People don't change that much. There life and surroundings may change, their attitudes towards all manner of things their ideas and so on but underneath, a person's personality stays the same. That's why it's important to really get to know one another before you start making commitments to each other. You need to love your partner knowing them and knowing yourself, you need to have a life plan together and you need to be able to communicate. Most relationships fail because of a lack of open, honest, sincere communication.

Hi Sara! I think both the partners needs to 'change' after marriage and they should 'accommodate' each other. Although, it is easier said than done, due to so many reasons. Expecting either wife or husband to change is not appropriate. One needs to understand that after marriage a boy becomes a husband and a girl becomes a wife and they need to play the roles of husband and wife in a responsible manner.

There are a million reasons why marriage would fail. There can be financial reasons. There can be infidelity issues. There can be the lack of life. All of these things boil down to one thing. Misunderstanding, or the lack of understanding. I even think that every conflict in this world can fail without respect and understanding. I really think it is the culprit.

ya u r ryt. but after marrige all need to change. men, women, and their families. now a daz this is a common problem of every family. that is d main reason of modern society that after marriege children are getting apart from their parents. the second reason is generation gap we can say it is a culture gap. after marriege girl want freedom but family of boy dont want this bcz they want that she should follow thier culture. and finally the gap between two keep on increasing and result result in fail.

If get married because of the physical beauty, then the marriage is bound to break. Fall in love with the inner beauty of a person, whether big or small.