The housework doesn't care who does it, neither do I, so y don't they help?
By sharone74
@sharone74 (4837)
United States
February 11, 2012 12:19pm CST
Men invariably like toleave all the household chores to the wife or girlfriend. Even when you work just as hard as they do and bring home a paycheck, they still assume that you want or need to wash the dishes, and the laundry, and follow around after them and your children picking up stuff and putting it away. Why can't they ever help? You ask them to wash the dishes they act like you asked them to get a vasectomy! They can't figure out why you're so frustrated that they never help around the house, they seem to think fairies come in and clean it all up for you. I like most women get tired of the carp out of them. Equality is all good when it will get them out of having to do something. When it comes to just helping out around the house, you can ask them until you're blue in the face, and still when you just can't take their carp anymore and you demand that they do somthing, anything around the house, they treat you like you have lost your mind! Then they make sure that they do the task poorly so you stop asking them to do it. What is that? I work too, when we get home, I wanna veg on the couch too, watch tv read a book, throw my stuff everywhere too. But noooooooooo they expect you to have all this energy for taking care of them, and since you earn your own money and help to take care of them financially too, why can't they see that they are not taking care of you, thus it is not their due to have to take care of everything around the house. And it really steams my corn when they start complaining to you that things are a mess and need cleaning. Do they ever lift a finger to help unless you make them? Men!
2 people like this
8 responses
@jellygator (76)
• United States
11 Feb 12
I felt the same way for YEARS!
I've finally found the perfect housemate. Yes, I still clean up after him a little every day. But in exchange, he brings home the money and lets me escape the rat race I was part of for three decades. About half the days he comes home, he still does work to benefit our home, too, like taking care of the yard or our cars.
I know it sounds very traditional, which I never thought I'd like, but the funny thing is.... He offers to help with anything I need, and jumps on things like vacuuming or laundry even though I don't expect it.
In my last marriage, I gave up the arguments and just hired someone in twice a month. It cost about $80 a month, but I let him pay for it. He didn't argue, either, because he knew he made messes.
2 people like this
@GemmaR (8517)
•
11 Feb 12
I have a boyfriend at the moment who is unemployed, whereas I am in employment, yet I still have to do all of the work around the house as he thinks that the woman should have to do everything for the man rather than the other way around. I think that things should be equal. Looking after a house can be a full time job, and a lot of men just don't seem to realise that at all. They should think about this before they say that we're supposed to do all of the work while they sit there and don't really do much while they're at home at all.
1 person likes this
@jellygator (76)
• United States
11 Feb 12
I would tell him that if I'm to do all the housework, then he's to bring in enough income to support the household, because that is what the traditional model is.
If he doesn't want the WHOLE traditional model, he needs to accept your modern one.
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
14 Apr 12
Fortunately my boyfriend supports me for the most part and our house is fairly small. But it is packed with stuff. I work from home on my computer and so I keep my home office in a section of the livingroom. My old man is a master leather crafter so he has a 6 1/2 ft by 4 ft workbench and industrial sewing machine and an industrial scyther both with hardwood 4 1/2 by 2/12 tables of their own also in our livingroom. Then everything else in the house is either in the bedroom or our oversize laundry room which holds both our closets as well. It is a tiny house, quite difficult to keep it nice and tidy with all the stuff we stuff in here. But we are both over 30 he by 28 years, you live that long you accumulate stuff. Ours seems to jsut explode out of places we put it though.
@sjohnson17 (42)
• United States
11 Feb 12
I couldn't agree with you more jellygator. I was in the same situation as GemmaR. Unemployed boyfriend who wouldn't clean. If he did he would just be stuffing things into new spots to make it look like he cleaned. Go into the closet and there is a mess that needs organized. I think they still think its the womans duty. As for unemployed boyfriends they want to be taken care of regardless if they work or not. I don't mean all men but most of them who think its a womans duty.
@jeanneyvonne (5501)
• Philippines
12 Feb 12
Don't forget the aunts. the moms and the sisters. I am in the same situation as you are everytime my father or my brotehr comes home to the house.
They expected to be treated like kings or more or less do less than hosuework or chores. They seem to be stupefied when I ask them to at least clean their mess. I always have teh feleing of being 'the maid' rather the 'sister or the daughter'.
In a sense. I can understand their point of view. My brother wants to relax fully becuase he is tired from work and the trip home. Also, I live in basically a men-focused society. However, even in this modern age, there should be some equality when it comes to the aspects of the household. Still, I get tantrums when they give me a lot of chores when they do know or ignore that I have some things to do at the same time.
I know some men that are very adept at housework but sometimes are too tired to do so. But as a woman, I do get tired too. They almost always assume that I have time in my hands. Not so.
I guess men cannot really realize what women do for them unless women are out of teh icture, They might know how to do chores but multitaksing a lot of activities from work to home and everything in between would be a shocker for them.
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
11 Feb 12
My husband does untill now.
My son does too. My daughter (21) I have to ask, time after time after time. Before I was tired of that now I don't care anymore. I also do less since nobody seems to care anyway, so why should I care?
1 person likes this
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
14 Apr 12
I truly feel you. It is just me and the bf now no kids in the house. But he cleans absolutely nothing. I complained that he never washes the dishes so for two weeks he made a point of washing his dish after dinner and stuff. But snack plates and stuff nope. It lasted 2 weeks now he doesn't even do that and he still never went and once washed all of the dishes. It takes a lot more than just one plate to serve a steak dinner with all the trimmings or any dinner for that matter. But men can be intentionally obtuse sommetimes!
@jessmess (35)
• United States
11 Feb 12
My dad was also like that. So is my boyfriend. If they want the house to stay clean, then they need to put in some effort too. Get a job or something to occupy your time, that way you have an excuse not to do the housework, then let them complain about it being dirty.
1 person likes this
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
21 Jun 12
I have more than one job, however my job is work from home.
@hunibani (720)
• Philippines
12 Feb 12
Mostly men doesn't lift a finger to help their wife and girlfriend inside the house. I understand that men works hard but, it doesn't mean they cannot help inside the house. They should marry maids then, LOL. :P But well there are others who help and I appreciate that. Including my fiancee MUAH !
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
11 Feb 12
I think people need to stand up for themselves and its clear your tired after a long day. Clearly, you need to decide what is important and ignore the rest. I'm a working Mom that doesn't have a clean house; however, there is plenty of food and clean clothes to wear. My feeling there is nothing wrong with having a house that looks like somebody lives there now.
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (32322)
• Malaysia
12 Feb 12
I have to agree with you. Actually it's not totally a woman's job to do chores around the house. Being together mean sharing everything, including chores, which some men would disagree. What's wrong with helping out a little? It won't kill to do as much.
