Mariages: gatherings???

Hi sjvg... I am exactly in a turn where i am going to marry as soon as possible 9 u may look at my latest discussion). In my marriage, i will be all informal and arrange the ceremony without any party. People may consider me as a stingy person, but i dont care as i am the only one to handle the entire ceremony. You know my parents are too old. Have a nice time.

I'm responding as an American, and here traditions vary widely. Some have big elaborate weddings, and others elope. When I married, it was common for the people I knew to have a church wedding with cake and punch in the church fellowship hall, so we did the same. People from out of town came to the bride's parent's home afterwards for more substantial food. We just wanted to get married and share the occasion with our close friends and family and, of course, my parents wanted their own friends to be present, and I'd also known most of the them. My mother planned all the organizational details and made my dress. I didn't even know what it would look like, since I was away at school. My husband and I cared more about the service than the other details. Our wedding was medium size and our best man took all the pictures. We just wanted a simple wedding that meant something to us with our friends and family as witnesses to our marriage. Hardly anyone had to come a long way to attend. I didn't want anyone to have to spend money to be in my wedding and I told my attendants they did not have to go get a new dress. My maid of honor was scandalized, and took over the dress planning with the other bridesmaids. My husband wore a suit and told his attendants to do the same. We just didn't want anyone to have to spend money to participate, and we went easy on flowers, etc. Everyone still had a good time. We'd been married a few years before we attended a really fancy wedding where there was a banquet afterwards. We didn't even know such things existed before we got the invitation. But that was almost 50 years ago, and I don't think the average middle class person spent as much then to get married as people seem to do now. We thought the marriage was more important than the wedding. I imagine my dad was glad I didn't have dreams of a really expensive wedding.

Marriages and their celebrations can cost a lot of money. I think that everyone should definitely celebrate their special days at whatever expense they see fit. These things only come once in a lifetime. I have seen weddings and celebrations where more money than what I could have spent was being spent though. I guess it just depends on the person.

hello sj, Parents always want the best for their kids, that the foremost reason. If, I have all the money to spend, why not. But,I won't go on debts for show-off. I might consider borrowing a little amount if my savings not enough. Here in my country,grand wedding is also a trend, or a tradition. A house is also a must. I can still remember designing my own house as well as my own wedding gown. Marriage is one of the happiest event in a family and clan...a gathering of loved ones.

Hi sjvg, It all depends on the individuals. Some like to throw huge parties to show off their wealth (I am very cynical), others just to share their happiness with a small group of friends and still others may just quietly get married without informing anybody! I myself spend quite a bit because we view it as a special event. Most of the expenses come from furnishing our home and getting some new stuff. The actual party itself we didn't spend as much. For me, the whole point is to enjoy the process and not make myself tired out with so much planning, spending and worrying.

I think it's both showing happiness and announcing the marriage at the same time. The idea is the more people attending the more witness for the unity; therefore, there will be less misunderstanding in case the couple were seen together. Still, the party to accomodate that purpose should not be done excessively; no need to go beyond your means just to prove that you are married.

Lots of people gathered in marriage place because the relatives can meet to each other and talk with each others. Enjoy the life and for eating good snacks. Lots of reasons for gathering in marriage.