What will be your first reaction when your daughter told you she is pregnant?

Before the mother can't live a day without her daughter have cellphone. Few years back when the daughter was been robbed and she loss her cellphone the mother bought her cellphone right away so just to have a constant communication. But now the mother don't buy her cellphone anymore and she also don't accept the father of the child. Although the daughter still live in her mother house along with the baby and the father of the child only go their and stay on weekends since he is working 20 kilometers away.

In my house once your 18 you don't get things easy any more your adult you live with what ever bed you make. You mess up you deal with it. I never turned to my parents when I got pregnant and be like hey you have to help me for the sake of the baby. I was lucky I was married at 21 and that my husband was working at a horrible job but it was money. He worked hard and he is still working hard a year later after our daughter was born. We get help from my parents but not as much as like living in there home. We live 9 hours from them in our own place doing it all on our own. I went to the health center found me a doctor that took the insurances I was given. Even with my second baby on the way I don't ask for much from my family. Some times parents just need to give there kids tough love and this is one of those things. my husband sister she is 19 and is being a mom on her won. She lives at home with one of her parents, but she works every day goes to school and should be having her first kid here in the next few months. The father nobody in our family likes him we all hated him and it has nothing to do with the fact he got my husband sister pregnant its just because he is jerk. He really doesn't want much to do with his own kid. what I hear from people that see him is that he isn't really around much and haven't been to one doctor appointment which is sad. I would be angry if my husband didn't come to certain doctor visit. Although he is coming to less with our second child but he is making it to all of the important ones.

I guess that's what we called cultural differences. Because in our country married happen after 26. If you get pregnant before that age its some how taboo. And since our country is catholic country and we think of marriage first before having a baby. financial stability first before having a family. that's why when this things happens every body in the family is frustrated.

Actually I'm not really involve in this situation. I just know someone who is close to me that has experience this problem right now. So I'm just sudden with what happen that why I open a thread dedicated to her story. Right now they are married. But happily? that just remain to be seen. The greatest problem in here is financial problem.

@bula : yes, because i had no daughter..i had no stress like you now but anything that you get now, i do hope you can be strong and strong..

You know the case in here is that her daughter get pregnant and she is not married. And you know the circumstance also if you read my post and what this thread is all about. But its seems you have nothing to share so just thank you for your time.

Actually I don't know how to put this but yeah her daughter boyfriend did not left. But he also reluctant to spend money or to make some extra sacrifice. So in short the boyfriend put a boundary or limits on how much he is willing to spend for the baby and for her. But since the daughter is already pregnant she has no choice but to be with the boyfriend just so that the baby has a father.

The father of the child only stay on weekends as he goes to work 20 kilometers away. But since the salary is not enough the mother have no choice but to return abroad to work. The mother is planning to retire two to three years from now but since theirs a new development I don't think the mother can think about retiring soon. The father of the child has nothing at all except a job. If he loss his job he has nothing as he don't have parents so help him with his new baby also.

it happens to you now??

I guess so. But I just feel the disappointments and the torture of feelings. Just imagine. Just been gone for a year and when you return your daughter is already pregnant and the worse part is that being a single mom you already know the hardship of live and her you are your daughter having walk the same path as you.

But what if its a planned pregnancy? then you will be mad and upset? I'm really surprise that you are not mad or even upset but I'm wondering why you are disappointed? Because as you say your not upset? I mean how can you not be upset if you are disappointed?

Not me. But someone close to me have this experience right now and I share the pain of disappointments. Especially since we already learn in late. I thought she only getting fat and it does not shows that she is pregnant at all until she is eight months pregnant.

She is a single mom. So in short theirs no father. So just imagine a single mom. Go abroad to work and earn a living to support her daughter only to go home a year later and found out that her daughter is pregnant to her boyfriend that she never seen before.

Yeah.. But how I wish its as easy as that.Its a live changing situation. Having went to abroad to work and after a year you found out that your daughter has a baby. That's really painful for a single mother. And of course its only only her daughter. What do other people or relative will say? So its really hurting for a single mother to accept. I think even a week or a month is not enough to feel bad.

That's good. I know its really hard to maintain your daughter and your grand child especially when you are already old enough to consider retiring. Its really hard to work for yourself and your daughter and for your grand child also. I really don't understand why people of 50 years ago has sense of responsibility that people of today.